Autographs
by GermanSheppies
Summary: USUK - Arthur's POV - Arthur Kirkland is a famous singer. He has it all; fame, fans, and a whole lot of money. But, he hates the rush of being famous. That is until his song writer is fired and replaced with a younger, blue-eyed blonde-haired teenager, who ends up showing Arthur the beauty of life. And a few other... awkward things.
1. Chapter 1

I hated concerts.

I don't care how many people came, how many people were screaming my name, how much money I got out of it, I hated concerts. My own concerts, I hated doing them, I hated seeing all those people, I hated the rush of getting ready. I hate the way I was lip syncing most of the time. It was absolutely awful, but this was my brother's life, not mine. I could not control what I wanted to do, it was all up to him, if I were free I'd be curled up watching an episode of Doctor Who. But no, I'm sitting here freezing cold back stage, chugging water, wrapped in a blanket after a concert. Yay for me, what a life. A life of riches and fans, and lip syncing and wearing big heavy leather jackets isn't as fun as it sounds.

I'm exhausted. I'm sick, and was in no shape to do that concert, but I did it anyways. I can still hear the cheers in my head. I'm thankful, somewhat, that teenagers go through this much trouble to listen to my music, but why? Why can't they be a little calmer? I sighed, wrapping the blankets around my freezing cold figure tightly. Shit, I feel like throwing up.

Well, anyhow, my name is Arthur Kirkland. I'm a, well, a music artist, and quiet a famous one at that. I sing Indie music, but all of it is written for me before I go on. Yes, I do lip sync, but it really is me singing the original recording. I don't like lip syncing, but I guess I needed it tonight, my voice sounds like shit because of my cold.

"Nice job fellas, we got a ton of cash tonight! And some happy little screaming fans!" I could hear some of my brother's comrades talking outside the door. I frowned, jeez; did they even care about my output on this?

I started to shake more. Seriously, I requested a hot chocolate fifteen minutes ago, it should be here by now! I huffed and lay down on the couch I was resting on, wrapping myself up in a cocoon of blankets. I closed my eyes, giving them a rest from the bright lights that were previously shone in my face. I wasn't going to sleep, I still had work to do after this sadly, but I could take a small break for now.

"Mister Kirkland?" Someone's voice interrupted my resting period. I moaned slightly, opening my eyes.

"Ah, yes, what is it, love?" I said softly, being polite as possible to the young lady in front of me. She must be new; I've never seen her around her before. I looked up at her, she held a small mug in her hands. Ah, finally.

"Hot chocolate," she said quietly, then shaking her head quickly, "I mean, um, your hot chocolate is here."

I smiled, "Thank you." Took long enough. Ah, don't be hard on the lady, she's new. I sat up, taking the warm mug.

"Be careful, it's hot," She murmured while handing it to me. I expected as much as I set down the boiling hot mug on the table in front of me. She quickly left as I did so. I sighed, my sigh quickly turning into a sneeze, my shoulders slouching.

The door creaked open again, my eyes looking lazily at the source. Mister big brother Francis stepped in, a smile on his face. "You look terrible."

"I feel terrible," I muttered, resting my head in my hands with an eye roll.

"Well, look who made the most people happy tonight?" Francis said, walking in to sit next to me on the couch. I huffed and rolled my eyes as Francis said; "Man, people love you! We got tons of money!" His accent purred, since Francis lived in France for a while until I became famous, he still has a French accent.

"Can we maybe spend it on something I want?" I hissed, "Like, um, let's see, maybe one of those Japanese heated blankets? Those look nice and cozy."

"Is all you think about sleep?" Francis laughed, patting my back. "Well, I got some bad news for you, Arthur."

"Bad news," I growled, "I'm already in a horrid mood, what else could be worse?"

"Well we fired you're song writer."

"Excuse me?" I shouted. I normally wouldn't care, but I needed a song writer. I was not creative what so ever, no song writer, no job. I hated my job, but I depended on it. "Why the hell would you do that, without my permission?"

"Arthur," Francis growled, "He was tired of being un-credited so we fired him."

"Well, what's so wrong with giving him credit, hm?" I hissed, the blanket falling from my shoulders, I could feel my voice strain, "I'm hardly doing anything! All I'm doing is being the stupid idol of this scam!"

"You sing," Francis said, "That's a lot."

"Well I don't do anything else," I murmured with a sigh, trying to calm myself down. Damn, what's so wrong with giving people credit? Can't we just be a team? I don't understand my brother, I don't understand why I have to seem like the one doing everything when I'm not. It's not fair to the others.

"Don't worry, we've got another writer on the way," Francis said, getting up from the couch, its springs creaking, "He's a newbie, but he still has good songs."

I sighed sharply as Francis left, shutting the door behind him after saying "We're leaving to go home in a few." My lips pursed into a frown as he left, damned bastard. I got up after sipping some of the hot chocolate on the table and started to pack up my guitar. I had been given this guitar by my mother when I was thirteen, still works like a charm. My mother is well, no longer with me. She died when I was fifteen, my dad went to jail and my brother came home from France to take care of me. We now live in a huge house that houses ten or so stagehand that work on my concerts. Who knew this would have happened to the nerdy British boy who got A's on all of his papers. I'm seventeen now, but still; this whole music thing is a lot of pressure. I feel like I'm a thirty-year-old sometimes.

After a long night, we packed up and my brother drove me home. You don't know how glad I am that this concert was around my home, sometimes I have to stay overnight at hotels and travel back in the morning. Maybe when I get home I can take a long bath or something that would be nice.

I slept in the next morning, cuddled up with a body pillow. I don't know why, but I really liked sleeping with something. I would sleep with a stuffed animal or something, but that's childish, right? Anyways, my brother would laugh. A trail of spit leaked out of my mouth as I got up, and I grimaced and cut it with my finger. I slipped out of bed, putting on my slippers afterwards. I yawned loudly, my back cracking quietly as I walked over to my dresser. I fixed my hair somewhat and whipped off my face a bit before leaving my room.

"Good morning," I croaked to someone who was walking through the halls of my home as well. He was a stage hand; I think he was set design. Yao, I think his name was. Yao turned to wave at me, his long brown hair that was normally pulled back into a ponytail whipped around his shoulders. He had nice hair, it was wavy like my brothers, but the length of it made it look better.

I walked into one of the two kitchens, yes, two, and poured myself some cereal. No milk, milk makes it soggy and gross. I sat on the couch in the living room and ate the cereal with my fingers out of the bowl, my shirtless body shivering slightly. I stared at the front door for a while, like something was about to happen, something important. Nothing ever did though, so I finished my cereal and curled up on the couch. I should go swim or something.

I got up after a while, wanting to go take a bath. I shuffled out of the living room and through the halls, I could feel my messy hair bounce slightly as I did. My brother caught me on the way down, "Arthur, where you going?"

"None of your business," I hissed, my lips parting into a frown. Francis stared at me for a little while until I gave in, "God Damnit I'm taking a bath, Francis, my secret mission has been destroyed." I huffed and countuied walking.

"Wait just a second," Francis purred, following me and tapping on my shoulder, "Guess who came today while you were sleeping your lazy little ass off?"

I gasped, getting images of my father, "dad? Dad's here?" I smiled wide as Francis frowned.

"No." My excitement died with the simple word. My lips pouted slightly with the new information, "Your new song writer! You have to meet this guy, he's the weirdest thing!"

"Oh goodie," I muttered as Francis dragged me down the hall, the opposite of the way to the bath. He eventually let go of my arm when we were far enough away from my original destination. Damn, doesn't Francis get that I hate this stuff?

Whoa, wait, that can't be right…

He was about my age. Blonde, tall, and tan. He had really bright blue eyes that were covered by topless glasses. He was shuffling around inside the sound room, probably putting his stuff together, until he noticed Francis standing at the door. He jumped up, running awkwardly over to the door and opening it.

"Hey mister Bonnefoy!" He chirped happily while opening the door, his blonde hair swaying in front of his face. I cocked my head to the side slightly, damn he was happy. Normally someone this stupidly giddy would make me annoyed, but he handled this bounciness in such a way it didn't irritate me. But, my allowance quickly turned into irritation once he saw me. His blue eyes widened as well as his smile, as he quickly glided across the floor to hug me tightly, "You're Arthur Kirkland! Oh my god!"

"Ah, um, yes," I muttered, pushing him off of me gently, "That's me." I heard Francis giggle quietly as the other stepped away from my body and put his hand on his neck.

"Well I'm Alfred," He said with a smile, "I can't wait to start working with you! This is gonna be so cool!" Alfred smiled brightly like a child, his hand fisting in the fabric on his blue T-shirt. I frowned slightly as Alfred smile faded as well, "Is… Something wrong?"

"Ah, no, lad," I muttered, shaking my head. I wasn't going to enjoy this, was I? I could already tell Alfred would be very clingy, which was in the least what I was like. At least the last song writer was older and calm, but Alfred seemed like a child. I could tell almost he would be childish, the way he walked, the way his smile grew whenever I spoke to him.

"Oh, um, okay," Alfred nodded softly, even though his frown disappeared his smile didn't come back, "So, I'll be writing songs for you, I guess."

"Yeah, I'll be," I took a pause, the small little lie slipping out of my throat as if acid, "I'll be looking forward to it."

Yeah, really looking forward to that…

I basically spent the rest of the week sleeping, my life isn't all exciting. You would think it is, famous and all, but nope, not really. Things were usually bought for me, so I didn't go out much. Just eat, drink, and sleep. I sung to myself to keep entertainment rich in the air, but, it didn't help much. But now, whenever I went to go get my morning tea, Alfred already stood there with the mug in his hands before handing it to me, wishing me a good morning. Nobody does that, but then again Alfred is new here. He'll understand soon enough that this place isn't fun or exciting, and that almost all of us hate each other.

"Good morning Arthur!" The voice made me want to groan as I watched his legs step in front of my body that was lying on the couch. He bent down and smiled. "I got you your tea, like normal."

"Thanks," I murmured, sitting up. I obviously sat up to fast, my eyesight becoming dizzy for a few moments as I took the cup. Alfred smiled at me again as he sat next to me on the couch. Goddamnit, just go away, I'm tired.

"So," Alfred said, his voice sticking in the air. I glared at him.

"So what?"

"How'd ya sleep?" Alfred put his feet on the coffee table, "I ask you these things every morning, think you'd expect them by now!"

"Okay," I murmured, ignoring his previous sentence.

"I've just started working on a new song," Alfred said, leaning closer to me, "I'm not sure what to call it yet, maybe you can help me once I'm done."

"Hm, yeah," I thought of how to get away without being rude. Maybe I should just get up and leave, but he'd probably follow me. Alfred was like a puppy, a really annoying puppy. He did this to a lot of others to, not just me, thank god. "Hey, Alfred-."

"Oh, call me Al."

"Oh, um, okay, Al, I gotta go," I stood up, the mug still locked in my hands, the heat from it making my hands sweat.

"Oh, okay," Alfred frowned slightly, but then said, "See you around."

"Yeah, see you later," I said, walking off. Where do I go now? This house is so big, but I normally sit in the living room for hours before I start to do anything. I wound up in my swimming trunks walking over to the pool, I have no idea how it happened. I pushed open the door to the backyard and walked carefully against the wet cobblestone. It was a nice day out for New England, maybe around ninety degrees. This was the hottest it got in New England, most of the time. I let out a quiet sigh as the sun hit my pale skin, in which I hated, but I didn't like the outdoors much so I lived with it. I made my way against the length of the pool and to the hot tub that was separated from the pool only by a foot long piece of marble. I dipped a foot in, testing the warmth before climbing in the rest of the way in. This was the only thing good about being famous, I had stuff. A lot of stuff, too much stuff, but the hot tub was nice. I sunk down into the hot water so it went just above my lips. I felt like I was sitting there for hours, letting the hot water loosen up my worries as I got used to the heat. My life really wasn't that bad, I didn't hate my life, I just hated a lot of the occurrences in it. If I could turn it around and live simply I would be much happier. Get a house along the country, get a cat, and maybe even get a boyfriend. That would be better, not the everyday rush of life. Well, I do like the hot tub and pool, I'll keep that.

But, despite the hot water, I'm still stressed about one thing; Alfred's ability to write songs. He seems to bouncy and nice to be a good song writer, I'm worried about what songs he'll throw out. But, Francis is pretty strict on song choosing, so either he'll fire him or pick the good ones. I don't mean to sound like a jerk, but I hope Alfred doesn't stay here long. I don't know him very well though; maybe he's a gentleman under all that? Or, maybe he's still excited about meeting me and living here, all this stuff does make one very happy.

"So, Kiku, um, how much do you get paid here?" I heard the faint familiar voice of my new song writer in the distance, I frowned, but I don't think Alfred was going for a swim. Kiku was one of my instructors, we were friends though. Kiku was nice, and quiet, and very mature. He's like me in a sense, not to sound racist, but a more Asian form of me. He's into all the ancient Asia stuff, some of the stories he has told me are very interesting. It's like Greek Mythology but, more dragons, ninjas and kites.

"Ah, I get around two thousand a month," I heard Kiku say from a distance, "But with rent it's not much, I believe you get paid more than I, though."

"Damn, that's a lot!" Was the last thing I heard before the voices disappeared, the sound waves no longer able to reach me. After a good thirty minutes I decided it was a good time to get out. I stretched after stepping out of the hot tub, while doing so almost tripping back in. But I caught myself, looking around to make sure no one saw my miss step. I laughed softly and countuied inside, the air now freezing compared to the heat of the hot tub. I hugged my body for warmth as I made my way inside.

A week later the new magazine came out. Who knew one of the new 'shocking articles' was about me, Arthur Kirkland, having anorexia. Well fuck.

* * *

**Authors Note-**

look a story not about zombies

Okay, heres the realistic one you all have been waiting for

I deleted this because I didn't feel it was long enough, I added more to it now and its back within 3 hours wow

Oh man new story, jeez i'm working on five right now (the others I won't be posting, they're my own OCs). Well, here is an insanely short first chapter that took me way to long. I'm planning on this story being much longer then Ups and Downs, maybe at least fifteen chapters (and I usually write very long chapters).

This was more planning then writing. At first Alfred was going to be a random fan, but how would that work? So, he's his song writer hooray.

This is rated M for language, suggestive themes, alcohol use, and of course smut.


	2. Chapter 2

I can still hear the stupid laughter of Francis and his comrades who work here. They stopped laughing a while ago, but I can still hear them in my head. Goddamnit, the whole worlds going to see that! I'm not anorexic, far from it; I weigh a hundred and twenty five pounds! And I eat on a normal basis, I do not have anorexia. Sure I may not be the strongest, but I'm not unhealthy skinny. Or, maybe I should be stronger… Oh now it's starting to get in my head, great. I even put a shirt on this morning, I usually end up walking around in my boxers, but no, I'm wearing a shirt because they're all going to laugh. I can feel the heat on my face as I sit down on the couch, embarrassment creeping all over my body. They even had the pictures of me at the pool in them, how did they even get those? I didn't even notice them, and Francis would never let pictures like that get out of this house. Goddamnit, this sucks, I'm starting to shake I'm so paranoid. All the magazines have ever said were positive small things like a new album, or concert tickets or something, not this. I get how other celebrities feel now, this sucks. The way I can describe this is that it sucks, and really embarrassing. I kind of want to cry, but I don't at the same time. I think it's more angry tears then anything, because, well I'm not unhealthy skinny like that. Right? Compared to other guys I was a shrimp.

Now I'm walking around, slouching and sulking about this new problem of mine. I looked like a grumpy old man, pacing around the halls with my arms crossed. They were all crowded around Francis holding up the magazine and laughing, the only people missing were Kiku, Alfred, Yao, and two others. I thought it was over, after that, I was afraid of another ridicule session. Terrified of it, actually.

But once again when I walked into the living room I saw Alfred on the couch, position on his back resting his head on the arm rest, reading that bloody magazine. I felt disgusted, not wanting the most annoying person in this house to laugh at me; I ran over to him and ripped the book out of his hands.

Alfred looked shocked and confused at first, wondering where the thing he was reading went. But his eyes slowly met mine, "What was that for?"

"Oh, now you're going to laugh at me, hm?" I hissed, taking the magazine and dropping it on the coffee table. I felt my nostrils flare as I said these words.

"Why?" Alfred looked confused while he sat up, "Miley Cyrus is really the only reason why I wanted to read that." Alfred's lips pursed into a semi-smile, probably thinking about that crazed pop star.

Suddenly, I wasn't worried about Alfred laughing at me. I wanted to rant. I felt the need to rant and to show him why I was angry. I sat next to him quickly, flipping through the magazine to find the page about me while Alfred looked on in curiosity. "That!" I said loudly, pointing to the page, my finger pushing in on the soft pages.

Alfred took the magazine from my lap and put it onto his. He studied it for a few moments, biting his lip. I was afraid of his lips cracking into a smile, but it never came. "That's horrible," Alfred said, squinting his eyes. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Ah, thank you," I muttered, allowing myself to smile. Having someone not laugh at me was nice.

"No, Arthur, this really is bad," Alfred shut the magazine and put it on the table, "Even if you were, it wouldn't be cool to write about that to make people look bad."

I looked at him for a few moments and shrugged. His seriousness was now making me not want to rant about it anymore, he wasn't at all threatening, especially since Alfred was so goofy (even though he had mellowed down a little in this passing week.)

"And you're not anorexic, I've seen you every day almost naked and you're very healthy," Alfred stated angrily, crossing his arms.

"Well, how much do you weigh?" I asked, "You're a good size for a lad our age."

"Oh," Alfred's seriousness faded and grew into a nervous energy, "Well, that's not the question here." I frowned, knowing he was holding back to spare my feelings. I glared at him for a few moments until the blonde sighed, "I'm one seventy."

"Man, I don't have anorexia but," I pulled up my shirt, looking at how my ribs just slightly poked out, "I think I may be unhealthy."

"But dude, I work out like, a lot," Alfred said, "More then I should, actually, I'm twenty pounds above the average weight."

"Well you're not fat then, and you're shoulders are rather wide," I sighed, "I'll just deal with the fact that I'm smaller than most men."

Now it was Alfred's turn to shrug and give up on the argument. He rubbed the side of his head awkwardly as I crossed my arms. "But, you look great; don't be too self-conscious about it."

"Great?" I started to laugh, "Don't need to suck up to me because you're new here, Alfred, I'm just another person. Think of me no different."

"But you are different than them," Alfred seemed more confused now than anything, but I didn't understand why- what I was saying was simple, "And I mean what I'm saying, dude."

I felt touched and irritated at his kindness, I really had mixed feelings for Alfred. This past week he's gotten calmer which is nice. I only see him in the mornings now, but he still gets me my morning tea, and it's defiantly more of a friendly connection with that. Maybe I'm not as irritated, but I can't let go of my frustration towards him just yet.

I had shrugged, not wanting or feeling the need to thank him. I felt more defensive then anything, maybe it's because I don't receive complements from people I see every day.

"But Arthur, you really do look good," Alfred smiled and nudged me with his knuckles gently. This time I smiled slightly, rising up my shoulders as a week attempt to cover up my face.

"Oh stop it," I said quietly, still smiling. Now I was going to allow myself to be happy because of his compliments.

"Hey, Arthur, I was wondering maybe if ya wanted to get a coffee with me," Alfred said, "Maybe get to know you better. All I really know is that you sing and you got creepers in your backyard taking pictures of you."

"First of all, I drink tea," I said, laughing slightly, "Well sure; I'll go get a coffee with you."

"Great! How about next Wednesday, I've been pretty busy with songs," Alfred said with a smile.

"Alright, sounds good," I said, "If anything changes we live together so it won't be too hard to re-plan." Alfred smiled in return, getting up. The couch rose as he weight was lifted off of it, proving what Alfred had said previously about his weight.

"See you around," Alfred said in his quirky but yet calm voice, smiling kindly at me as he walked away. I was irritated but yet happy that my first opinion on Alfred was somewhat wrong. It frustrated me because, well, I was wrong. But I was pleased because I wouldn't have to live with the loud, stalker-like Alfred. Even then his mind was in the right place, but still, he was annoying then, and now he wasn't as bad.

That week was alright. I spent most of my time in a t-shirt instead of just my boxers, since I looked naked when I wore my briefs because my shirt covered them I avoided briefs and just wore boxers. Wednesday came, but we both had to cancel because I had singing practice and Francis was overloading Alfred on work. Poor lad, he was hired on the wrong time; Francis was planning on an album release in a month. Ten songs in a month is a lot, Alfred doesn't even have time to talk to me in the morning. I kind of miss him, he's the one of the few exciting parts of my day.

After my singing-class-warm up-thingy, Kiku drove me home. "So, Mister Kirkland, has that cold of your gotten any better?"

"Yeah," I said, climbing into the car, "I can actually sing high notes again without squeaking." Singing was one of the few things that kept me calm and happy, so having a smooth voice again was awesome. I loved singing as a calming hobby, mixing it with the rush of fame and concerts wasn't very fun for me.

Kiku and I looked at each other with a smile and said; "Sounds like the soundtrack for a sunset." That was something my father used to say to me all the time. I miss him, so does Kiku. Three months before my dad went to jail, Kiku was hired as an around the house help and was really close to my father. We both shared the pain of losing my father, which was one of the reasons why we were so close. At least I get to visit and write to him.

After I got home I went on my laptop and looked up some porn. What? I'm a horny 17-year-old who isn't allowed to date, I should at least be able to watch some gay porn every once in a while without being ridiculed. Anyways, a lot of people do it, it's not like it's un-normal. I went to go take a shower afterward and then slipped on some sweatpants, making my way to the living room, my hair still wet with once hot water. I sat down on the couch for a few moments.

"Bonjour." The voice sent me straight up into the eyes of my big brother. He liked to tease me with his French, but this time, it actually sounded like he slipped. Like he didn't mean to let the French he was so used to speaking slip out. And damn, was he happy.

"Why are you so happy?" I said quietly as the taller man sat down next to me. Francis smiled, handing me an envelope.

"Dad wrote us."

"Dad?" I shrieked, snatching the orange envelope from his hands. Francis pulled out one as well, which must have been his, but I wasn't paying much attention. I was the closest to my dad; Francis was more of a mom's boy. I had most of my dad's features, his green eyes, blonde hair, the way I even spoke English. Francis shared a few of his traits, such as the blonde hair, but he got more of my mother's side. Taller with blue eyes and his hair was even a dirtier blonde because of my mom's brown hair.

I had quickly opened the orange envelope with my finger, shoving it into the thick paper and pulling. I pulled out the paper excitedly.

_Dear Arthur,_

_Hey Artie, how is it going? Hope everything is okay over there, does Francis still bully you? Anyways, I'm really proud of you. I know I say that every time, but I really am. I know you don't enjoy the famous life, but in a few years everything will be fine. So, new song writer, I heard? Francis told me a few nights ago. Well, sorry I haven't been able to write you, those security guys are really hard going on sending letters. I've gotten all of your so far, Arthur, so don't worry! About twenty this last month, right? Just kidding, but I do get a lot of your letters. Good news, too! You might be able to see me sooner than planned! Maybe next month, even. _

_Love, mister dad. P.S., Arthur, tell Kiku I miss him! Love you! _

I smiled. He wrote to me, he actually wrote me! It's been months since he's been able to write to me! And I would be able to see him soon, this is great! I haven't seen him in a year! I squeezed my legs together and smiled like a child.

"This is great, huh Francis?" I said, smiling, "We get to see dad soon!"

"Yeah," Francis' eyes separated from the paper. He looked almost, upset for a moment. It faded quickly though, so I didn't ask why, "Nous obtenons de voir papa!" I snickered and I frowned.

"Stop with your fancy French language!" I said with a laugh. It was times like this Francis actually got along well, and it was pretty fun. Francis was upset for a very long time after mom died, but now that he's back home he has gotten much better.

Later that night I was curled up on the couch in the living room with a blanket. I was watching Titanic on my laptop. I still cry over that movie, even though I've seen it many times. It was dark outside now, and I had purposely turned off all the lights to see my movie better. I would go in my room if I was bugging anyone, but I haven't heard any footsteps coming. This made the sudden call of my name behind me scare me even more.

"Hey Arthur!"

I shouted quietly, my hand slamming the pause button and whipping around. "Oh, god, Alfred, you scared me."

"Sorry," Alfred laughed, sitting down on the edge of the couch. He pat my back roughly as my shoulders raised. "How's it going?"

"Okay," I said, "Why haven't you been seeing me in the morning?" I set my laptop to the side.

"Sorry about that, I've been working on songs," Alfred said, puckering her lips slightly, "Its hard work."

"Can tell," I murmured, realizing Alfred had some dark circles under his eyes, his glasses hiding them slightly. "Wish I could write my own songs, or at least tell people I have a song writer."

"I like writing your songs though," Alfred smiled, "it's been a dream of mine for a while, I don't mind not being credited. All that matters is that it's fun!"

"But, I don't want to take the claim of your songs, it makes me feel bad," I said, biting my lip. Alfred looked at me, squinting his eyes.

"Dude, I just said I don't mind. As long as you know that they're my songs I don't mind at all, I actually love doing it without being credited, too much attention." It irritated me how self-directed he was about the conversation. He didn't mean it, I knew that. But still, he sounded selfish even though what he was saying wasn't selfish. But, it was like he wasn't worried about my view on things.

"Okay," I said, despite my want to say something rude. Alfred was working hard for me, so I should be patient with him. He is very kind most of the time anyways.

"I'm almost done with the songs, anyways," Alfred said with a small laugh, "Maybe we can grab that coffee sometime later."

"Well we have time now," I said, confused.

"It's too late, coffee shops are closed," Alfred laughed, "I've lived here for two weeks and I already know that."

"No, I mean, we can talk," I said, "Isn't that the whole reason why you wanted to go out with me?" Alfred started to laugh. "What?"

"Go out with me." He laughed, "It's like we're dating."

I flicked his head. In the few seconds that my hand was touching his hair, his hair felt like it was layered heavily, but yet kind of fluffy. We both laughed, but Alfred winced at the same time.

"So, Mister Jones, your parents must be proud of you, hm?" I said cocking my head to the side slightly, "I mean, you said you wanted to do this for a while."

"Oh, I don't have parents." The sentence shocked me, the total innocence in his voice. Like saying you had no parents was the most normal thing ever. Before I could say anything, Alfred started to speak again, "I'm an orphan, technically, I think my parents didn't have enough money to raise me and my brother. But I was raised by like, a nanny type person."

"Oh," I said, furrowing my brow.

"I fell into depression around age twelve, I think, that's why I'm so good at writing songs, cuz I used to write poetry and stuff," Alfred twirled a piece of his hair around his fingers, "But I'm long over the depression, it's still kind of there, but my life is pretty good at the moment. I still take pills for it sometimes, but not much anymore."

"Oh, wow," I muttered to myself. This was surprising alone, Alfred having depression. He seemed so happy all the time, I now felt bad for even considering hating him. He could still be annoying at times, but now I felt kind of bad.

"I know, didn't expect that, hm?" Alfred's lips pursed into a smile, he looked at me, "A lot of people are shocked when they hear that. But I'm alright now, I've got a ton of friends and I work for you!"

"Well," I said with a shrug, "I guess I didn't." I smiled slightly. Alfred laughed and patted me on the shoulder, man he was rough. He gave such a gentle look, but his mannerisms were the exact opposite. I wonder if he has a girlfriend, I mean, he is a very handsome lad. "Hey, Alfred?"

"Al," He corrected me again, his eyebrows rising in a 'matter of fact' expression, "well, anyways, yeah?"

"Are you dating anyone?" I asked. He looked at me strangely, squinting his eyes, "Not that I'm interested! Just curious."

"Not at the moment," Alfred said, biting his lip, "I'm not open to anyone at the moment. I dated a lot when I was younger, I think I'm just gonna wait until I find the right person."

"Wow, I'm the exact opposite," I laughed, "I'm looking for anything I can get, Francis won't let me date. Mainly because he's afraid of the paparazzi picking up on me and my boyfriend that doesn't exist yet."

"That sucks," Alfred snickered.

"It's not all it's cracked up to be," I said with a sigh. Alfred was smart enough to know that I was talking about being famous.

"But you're doing a good job," Alfred said, his expression changed to a stupid-looking worry. I don't know why he seemed worried, it shouldn't worry him. "You've made a lot of people happy, I don't think you realize how much of an impact you've left on people."

"Like what?" I laughed, tapping my knee with my finger.

"Suicide," Alfred said, the one word chilling me to the bone. I don't save people's lives like that, other bands do, not me. I don't want to be doing what I'm doing, at first I loved it, but now I hate it. If I didn't mean what I was singing, and I saved people with the stuff I didn't mean to say, doesn't that make me somewhat of a monster? This isn't right; I never even realized that suicide prevention was even considerable.

Alfred turned to me and smiled. I looked at him, and that's when I realized what he was saying. I swallowed, hard. Oh god, please no, I don't want to be loved like this for being fake.

"Ya know, I know that first hand." He said, nudging my shoulder with his fist, "Just, do what you want, but, you really mean a lot to me, and a lot of other people as well."

I rested my head in my hands. I wanted to tell him I wasn't, this felt so wrong, but I just couldn't. I usually would easily be able to tell someone what was on my mind, but, this was serious. Alfred would be dead if it wasn't for my singing. And I made him really happy, how the hell was I supposed to tell him that I never meant any of that? What would that do to him? He told me he was much better, but he still wasn't totally okay. He probably would be fine with it, but just in case he wasn't, I shouldn't tell him. To spare his feelings, I can't tell him. No matter how hard it pains me not to.

"Arthur?" Alfred said quietly, cocking his head to meet my eyes. I turned my head to look at him. "You look upset?"

"No, no, I'm just surprised, that's all," I said quietly, scratching the back of my head to occupy my hands, "I'm really sorry all that happened to you."

"Eh," Alfred shrugged. He took a breath to say something, but I just hugged him. I don't know why, I really don't hug anyone but my brother, Kiku, and my parents, and then again millions of complete strangers who get backstage passes, but I hugged him anyway. I knew him well enough, and we could be considered friends by now, so this was totally normal.

Totally normal.

But, he was warm nonetheless. Warm and surprisingly big, since I normally hug people my size or smaller. It was a warm, sweet little friendly hug. But then again when Alfred hugged me back I felt like his body was eating me up, Goddamnit he's huge.

"Artie?" He asked quietly. The nickname annoyed me, but I ignored it from the rest, "I'm okay, really, I was just proving a point. It was a while ago."

"I know," I said, pulling away from his arms, "I just," I shrugged. "Friends hug, right?"

"Oh," Alfred's eyes widened slightly, and then his smile widened and he nodded, "Yeah, friends defiantly hug!"

"Good," I smiled and laughed, "If not we're both really gay."

"Well that was a girly hug," Alfred said with a laugh, "Men hug like handshake hug-thing."

"But those are more official, I said, "Friends don't do that. That's weird." I yawned, the wrong feeling still faintly existing. But, the happiness in the room now blurred it out. "Well, anyhow, how's that album coming?"

"Almost done!" Alfred said with a smile, giving me a dorky little thumbs up.

"Hard work, hm?"

"Duh," Alfred laughed, "I'm exhausted." Alfred took off his glasses and set them on the coffee table, rubbing his eyes before pressing his back against the couch.

"Thanks," I said softly, feeling the need to thank him for his hard work. He is doing this for me, even though he's getting paid, I feel like he's working extra hard for me.

"No problem, Arthur," Alfred said with a relaxed sigh. "I think I'm actually gonna go to bed."

"Oh," I pouted my lip slightly, Alfred was fun to talk to, and I hadn't seen him in a while. "Well, I don't blame you."

He stood up, helping me up after. Even though I really didn't need help. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, can you see me tomorrow morning?" I said quietly, trying to keep the want for him not to go out of my voice. I wasn't tired, too much stimulation at the moment.

"Yeah," Alfred said with a laugh, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

I settled down that night with some more porn. I had nothing else, so why not?

Well that was a bad idea. Whacked up dreams, man, weird ass-dreams.

First of all, I was in my house. Everything is all blurry now, but dreams are hard to remember. Francis apparently had a girlfriend, which he already said never to date again because of some relationship in France. So that was strange, but, that's not even the strangest part. This is where the porn comes in, I had sex. Well, love making, not really sex. And who else would it be with but Alfred? Jesus Christ, that was weird.

"So, is it good?" He had said, kissing my hand and sucking on my fingers. His voice was distant and blurry, like, he was talking to me through a glass dome. I don't really remember what it felt like; it was a dream after all. I had answered yes. "You know, it's hard," his voice was still blurry and weird. He had reached down and touched my cock at this point.

Alfred then took a breath through his lips and said, "Writing."

That's when I woke up. I almost shouted when I got up, Goddamnit that was weird. I realized why Alfred's voice was so faint, it was because Francis and him were having a conversation about jobs and stuff outside my door. None the less, now that everything made sense, I found that my boxers were all sticky and gross. I grimaced over-dramatically, and awkwardly made my way to the bathroom to take a shower.

Ew, gross. Never watching porn at night after talking to Alfred again.

* * *

**Authors Note-**

Woo new chapter

lol sex dreams Arthur you little slut (just kidding)

well yeah here we go Alfred and Arthur bonding time yay. Not spell checked be careful.

man these notes are very pointless

I really like making Alfred having depression, okay? And Arthur always has to be the cool one, yeaahhh


	3. Chapter 3

"Good morning, mister Kirkland." I was greeted to that familiar voice, follow by a giggle. Alfred was still drowsy, his voice was deep and he looked out of it. I felt weird, because of the dream I previously had about him, but I shook it off.

"Good morning," I replied, watching Alfred sit next to me, the couch dipping underneath his weight.

"M'tired," Alfred mumbled with a small laugh, slouching his back.

"Can tell, your voice is all screwy," I hit him gently in the back of the head, his matted hair skimming my fingers.

"You know, girls say the hottest part about a guy is there sleepy voice," Alfred raised an eyebrow and smiled stupidly at me.

"Well I'm a guy, so if you're trying to seduce me it's not going to work," I laughed, "Well, I am gay. But I don't think I would ever even think about dating you."

"Aw, you sure?" Alfred laughed, poking me in the shoulder.

"Ew, no."

"Aw, please? How about a kiss?" Alfred pursed his lips and started making kissing noises. I laughed, pushing his face away.

"No thank you," I said, smiling, Alfred glaring back at me with his sky-blue eyes.

"C'mon, I want some sexy action," Alfred said, reaching over my arms.

"Ew," I laughed again, pushing him away once more. Alfred smiled and laughed, leafing his hand through his hair. I watched as the blonde hair glided between his fingers.

"Just kidding."

"Noo," I said sarcastically, Alfred letting out another laugh. The way Alfred's lips lifted when his smiled seized to amuse me, dimples appearing almost every time he laughed just to disappear again when the smile faded away. Now, I guess I would have to say Alfred was my best friend. I didn't see much of him often, nor were we very close, but I have this weird urge towards Alfred. I don't think it's a crush, I hope it's not a crush, but Alfred is really nice. He's a great guy from what I've seen of him so far, and plus I haven't really had a friend in a really long time. I was happy to have Alfred here; it was nice having the company of another male my age. I hope Alfred appreciated me as much as I did him. He must, I mean, he was raised in an orphanage. But he did have the company of other kids, but then again I did sort of save his life without meaning it. Yeah, he probably does. I hope he does.

On Monday of the next week I went down to the coffee shop by myself. Alfred had gone out early that morning, I was planning on asking him, but he left before I could ask. So I walked there by myself early that morning. Francis would probably get mad at me for going without someone but whatever. I think Francis trusted Alfred almost as a bodyguard as well, whenever I go out he asks me to take Alfred with me. Alfred is huge, so no wonder.

It was cold that morning, maybe forty degrees. I'm used to this kind of weather, though, so it wasn't too bad. By the time I got to the coffee shop my cheeks were rosy, I could feel the numbness in my cheeks and nose clearly. I rubbed my hands together letting the heating from the store warm my body up.

I walked up to the counter, "Um, may I get a Tai Chi latte?" I said shyly, even though I had been here many times before. I'm glad the place was empty, this is a small coffee shop anyways, and not many come here. The people who work here have also gotten used to me. "Medium."

"I was told you come here," The cashier said quietly, smiling. He was my age, I guess I didn't realize he was new because I don't pay much attention to the workers. He was tall, not as tall as Francis though, with dark, curly hair and deep brown eyes. He had the 'Alfred smile', but he looked more worn down then Alfred did. "Arthur Kirkland, correct?"

"Yeah," I muttered, awkwardly rubbing my elbow. I was strangely shy on an everyday normal basis, but only with certain people as well. "Um, you?" It would only be polite to ask the lad his name.

"Jase," The man behind the counter answered, "Jace Johnson. I'm new here, coffee's real fucking hard to make."

I felt my lips tug in a small smile, "And tea."

"And tea, we got more coffee here though," Jace smiled and tapped the counter, "So, um, your order again? Sorry, wasn't paying attention."

"Tai Chi latte," I said quietly, "A, uh, medium."

"Got it," Jace said, turning around with a small smile, "That'll be right out. Feel free to sit around you know, I'm the only one working today, I'm sure boss-man won't mind you interrupting the normal coffee procedure."

"Oh, um, alright," I left the counter as Jace started making my order. This was awkward, but yet Jace reminded me a lot of Alfred, just more calm. Alfred is calm most of the time, but when he gets excited, boy he gets going. Jace seemed more laid back, but I'm not sure, I just met the guy.

In a few moments Jace brought me my tea, and I gave him the money. Three dollars even. Jace sat down at the chair text to me as I silently sipped my tea.

"So, you don't mind me talking to you, right?" Jace said, looking at me with a soft smile, "We're both like, eighteen and random strangers. Well, I know who you are, but still, you know."

"No, it's fine," I said, my shyness bubbling away slowly, "And I'm seventeen."

"Ah, taken yet?"

"Nope, I'm gay, not many gay guys looking for me," I laughed before taking another swig of my drink.

"Aw, that sucks for you," Jace said with a smile, "So, are you looking for a manly guy or the less-manly guy?" Jace laughed, "I'm sorry, I don't know how else to put that, I'm not gay so I really don't know."

"I actually don't know," I said with a laugh, "If I like them, I like them. I can't date yet anyways because of my broth- erm, manager." I appreciated that Jace didn't say 'girly guy'. "Just see it like you liking a girl. Doesn't matter if they're into sports or art, you just like them."

"Sucks you can't date," Jace then said, "Your manager must be tough on ya."

"You have no idea," I smiled, giggling silently to myself, "But I got company, my song- I mean, one of my stage hand lives with me, his names Alfred. We're good friends."

"Wait, so Alfred was telling the truth?" Jace started to laugh, and I was a bit shocked. Wait, Jace knew Alfred? Actually, it kind of makes sense, they're both very similar in personality.

"You know him?"

"Duh, Alfred's like, the party guy," Jace said, still smiling, "Wow, I can't believe he was telling the truth. I thought he was in some drunk state or somethin'."

Oh, well, I never knew Alfred drank. Or partied. Something I never knew about him. It annoyed me, actually. I think it was more of jealousy, but I refused to believe I was jealous of Alfred. Bloody git, doesn't even invite me. That's probably where he is all the time too! "I never knew Alfred went to parties."

"He talks about you a lot, but its normally after he gets all crazy. Guess I'll have to apologize to him now," Jace laughed, resting his head in his heads, "Hey, maybe I can bring ya to one, if your manager doesn't mind."

I nodded almost immediately as he said it. I would love, love to go to a party. A teen party, with drugs and sex and all the stuff I've read about. I know I've always wanted to live a quiet life, but a party was something I could never ignore.

"Awesome, I'll let you know next time one comes up, or maybe Alfie can bring ya, since you live with each other," Jace smiled, "Should I give you my number? Or is that awkward because your gay?"

We both laughed and I replied with a quiet 'no' as he wrote his number down on a napkin.

I went home that day with pride on my chest. New friend, and maybe even a new life. Or, a small new life of partying. But, I knew when I got back I was going to bitch to Alfred about his parties. I wasn't going to tell Francis or anyone of course, that might get him fired, and maybe my bitching would convince Alfred to bring me.

* * *

SO. SHORT.

I wanted to post this so no one thinks i'm dead. This would be longer, and would have came sooner, but I have been on vacation for two days and the new Pokemon game is way addicting. Plus American Dreams in an English Village was also finished, so I've been having a little mini breakdown because of that fanfiction.

So, maybe in two or so days i'll start chugging on with this. I'm addicted to Pokemon X and Y. Named my Charmander Alfred hurr~

BUUT

Okay, new character. He's an OC as well, not based on any Hetalia character. And before anyone jumps to conclusions, **NO LOVE TRIANGLE. **Alfred and Jace are extremely similar in personality, but still have differences (as the chapters go on you'll notice). Jace will be smarter and calmer, while Alfred is basically clueless half the time (Not stupid. He just isnt a fast thinker. I'm not a big fan of the total idiot Alfred people write). Plus their body types are very different.

Arthur is making friends yay Thats it Arthur be social you lil shit


	4. Chapter 4

"You son of a bitch," was the first thing I said upon seeing Alfred. I fought back the urge to smile as Alfred looked at me. He took a few moments to process my words, and once he did, he cocked his head and squinted at me. His eyebrows made small wrinkles just above his nose which I hated to admit; He looked pretty cute right now.

"What?" Alfred said, cluelessness backing up his words.

"You've been going to parties?" I said, trying to keep the harshness in my voice. I crossed my arms as Alfred thought over the sentence. His eyes widened at the comment.

"Oh Jesus," He murmured to himself quietly, before taking a breath to speak again, "Dude, I'm really, really sorry, I didn't want to tell you, well because, please don't fire me!" I almost laughed at the despair in his voice. I guess I was less mad now, since I figure that the only reason he didn't tell me because he was afraid of getting fired. But, I was keeping this up nonetheless. It made me feel kind of good, actually.

"Getting drunk to I've heard, hm?" I said quietly, stepping towards him. Alfred nodded weakly as he looked away, "That's breaking the law, you know." Alfred nodded again.

"Dude, look, I'm really sorry, I'll do anything I swear, please don't fire me!" Alfred quickly hugged me, forcing me into his chest, "Please, I don't want to leave! I still don't have enough money to buy my own house and I'll go back to the orphanage! I don't want to go back there! And your really cool and nice, and-!"

"Okay, Alfred, I wasn't going to fire you," I almost burst into laughter. He was desperate; the panic in his eyes was almost hysterical. I felt kind of bad as well, maybe I was a bit too harsh on the lad, and this job was probably the thing that mattered the most to him. "But, I can get you in trouble."

"No, please, please, Artie, I'm sorry," Alfred let go of my body. Now he looked just plain sad instead of panicked, and that almost broke my heart. His eyes looked so sad, and I was used to him being happy, so it was a big change.

"Ah, I wont," I said quietly, regretting my choice on being harsh on him like that. Alfred sighed though, his face relaxing.

"Good," Alfred muttered, smiling softly. My lips lifted up in a small smile as well.

"If," I said after taking a breath.

"If?" Alfred's expression turned to panic again.

"If you bring me to one of these parties."

"Oh! Of course!" Alfred smiled, "I was planning to, but I wasn't sure if you were a party guy, you know? Or if you'd get mad at me or what, but yeah, I'll bring you to one. To all of 'em if ya want!" Alfred suddenly got really excited, which got me excited as well. I was finally going to go to a party, an adult party! Since Alfred and Jace were so similar and went to the same parties, hopefully I made more friends, maybe even score of a boyfriend. Life was going great.

"Arthur, Arthur come on!"

"Alfred! I was just given permission to go, give me some time!"

"Come ooonnnn! You're so slow!"

Alfred was banging on my door, whining as I got ready. "What are you getting, anyways? It's a party! Not a sleepover!" I furrowed my brow as I snapped a studded collar around my neck.

"Patience, I've been in here for five minutes," I said loudly so Alfred could hear. God, he was being annoying, but I could tell he was excited. Finally, I got the studded collar around my neck correctly, and found my green hair dye, putting a few streaks in my hair. I turned and opened the door. "Wow, have you died from waiting so long?" I said sarcastically as Alfred stepped away from the door.

"Woah!" Alfred said, his eyebrows lifting when he looked at me.

"What?"

"You look sick!" Alfred smiled, his hands fisting, "Wow, you look like a real rock star, Artie."

"Well, thank you," I shyly smiled, letting a hand go to my hair and my fingers play with the soft hair for a few moments. It felt good when people told me that I looked good, especially when they said I pulled off the punk thing.

"Oh, Alfred, thank you so much, I love you," Alfred began to mock me, pouting his lips and putting his finger to his chin. Alfred laughed and ruffled my hair.

"Git," I said, catching his hand in a death grip to prevent any future damage to my hair.

"Bloody fool!" Alfred said, mocking my accent once again. He squinted his eyes with a smile. "C'mon, lets get going." Alfred nudged me with his elbow gently, smirking. "Damn, you really look cool."

"I know," I said, puffing out my chest instead of acting shy. Alfred is my friend, I shouldn't act shy like that around him. Alfred took me by the hand and dragged me down the hall.

"Your so slow, Artie," Alfred muttered.

"I can walk!" I hissed at him, ripping my arm from his hands.

"Well you walk like an old man," Alfred said, slowing down so he was walking side-by-side with me. I stuck my tongue out at him. But, on the inside, I was dying with excitement. I would go to a party, an actual teenage party. I'm pretty sure the only reason why Francis let me go is because I have Alfred with me, and Francis and him get along very well. But, I'm not letting Alfred stop my fun.

For tonight, I'm going to feel like an actual rebel.

Walking into the home, it smelt strongly of cigars. The smell doesn't bug me, Francis used to be a heavy smoker. He quit after he met his girlfriend in France, I really wonder whatever happened to her. But, Francis was a lot happier after he met her.

But, Alfred's hand tightly grabbed mine once we opened the front door. "Okay, dude, don't get to drunk. We don't want Francis on our asses, kay?"

"Got it," I said with a mischievous smile, "I'm not even sure if I like alcohol yet, anyways."

"You excited?"

"Course," I squeezed his hand once before he let go.

"Come on, I should go introduce you to the guys," Alfred looked down at me, "Jace is gonna be there. Plus it looks really awkward with us standing in the doorway."

Alfred pushed me into the home. It smelt even stronger of cigars now the door was shut, but the sent was almost relaxing. It was a dark home to, dark green carpet and wooden walls, hardly any windows. Alfred took me through a small crowd of teenagers- who were probably around my age, and we found a small set of stairs.

"Welcome to a real party, dude," Alfred said as we walked down the stairs, "Have fun."

I smiled, looking up at him. "Don't feel pressured into doing anything you don't want, though."

"I can take care of myself, Al," I said plainly as we walked down the last steps. A few other people were sitting on the side of the room smoking, but there was a bunch on the couches, laughing and hooting.

"Yo, Arthur!" It was Jace's voice. I smiled, watching Jace get off the couch. He had a bottle in one hand.

"Hey Jace," I advanced from Alfred and gave the tall brunette a small high five. I then stepped to the side and watched as Alfred and Jace man hugged.

"You little un-believing piece of shit!" Alfred said with a smirk, hitting Jace's back playfully. Or, I think it was supposed to be playful, because Alfred's hand made a loud slapping noise across his back that made Jace flinch.

"Alfred!" I suddenly turned to the five teenagers sitting on the couch, all were male but one. They all threw either one or two hands up, it depended on if they were holding a drink or not.

"Hey guys," Alfred said with a smile. His blue eyes suddenly met mine, and in one smooth motion Alfred had his arm wrapped around my shoulders, "Meet Mister Arthur Kirkland. A.K.A, I told you so."

I frowned slightly. He's basically calling me proof, not his friend. I am his friend, right? I thought of myself as his friend, he's very friendly towards me. But then again, Alfred did have this secret life I had no idea about. He could have best friends, and I could just be his co-worker. Not his best friend like I thought. It made me feel empty, I really needed Alfred. He was my only social connection besides Jace, and the only reason I'm friends with Jace is because of Alfred.

"Wowee, Alfred was telling the truth." The female voice scared me a little, the suddenness of her voice and how close it was to me, "Hey, I'm Liz."

"Ello," I said quietly, turning in the direction where I heard the sudden voice. It was jumpy and bouncy, just like Alfred's, but female. But, she had short, choppy hair, green eyes and a very masculine figure. My first thought was lesbian, but I shouldn't stereotype people. "I'm well, you know who I am."

"Even if you weren't famous, Mister loud-mouth here just introduced ya," Liz smiled, shooting a look at Alfred who was now talking with Jace, "You want a beer?"

"I've never actually drank anything before, but sure," I said quietly. I was being shy, but females usually didn't make me as uneasy as males, probably because I was attracted to males.

Liz raised an eyebrow, "Never drank anything? Like, alcohol? Not even whine?"

I shook my head, "No. My brot- er, manager doesn't let me."

"Oh," Liz laughed, "That must suck, c'mon, take a seat." Liz walked to the couch and plopped down on it, patting the seat next to her, "C'mon, you don't mind sitting next to a girl, do ya?" I laughed and shook my head, quickly sitting next to Liz. "Beer for the new guy!" Liz shouted at the guy at the other side of the couch. That made me smile. New guy, did that mean I was part of their little group?

Liz quickly had a beer in her skinny fingers, quickly handing it to me, "Your first beer, maybe I should take a picture." Liz smiled before taking a sip of her own. I felt the couch sink as I struggled to get the cap off.

"Want me to get that?" Alfred said quietly, tapping my shoulder. I nodded slightly as I gave the bottle to him pathetically. Alfred popped it open within seconds and handed it over, "Have fun." Alfred smiled.

"Wait, Arthur has to meet the guys first," Jace's voice scared me; he was leaning over the couch, right behind me. "Well, that's Liz, you've obviously met her."

"And," Alfred spoke up, interrupting Jace, "That's Feliciano, Gilbert, Peter, Matthew, my bro, and Angus." Matthew and Feliciano had waved to me but that's really it, the others were very involved in their beer.

It shocked me how similar Matthew and Alfred where. Matthew's face was rounder while Alfred's was skinnier and blockier, and Matthew's eyes were almost a purple color, but that's really it. His hair was longer to, like Francis's, but Alfred's golden color, since Francis's hair color was almost the same as mine.

And that's when I had my first sip of alcohol. I was excited, I had never had beer before, I felt like a real rebellious teenager. But right as I was about to, I turned my head to look at Alfred chugging a bottle. It made me feel like he was bragging, but then again I think he's just enjoying his beer, and he's had beer before, so it's not like anything different for him.

Beer tasted weird. It was strong and bitter, and made my tongue curl up after I swallowed it. I was disappointed for getting so excited, but that's when I got the weird feeling. It was like a fire in my stomach, that if I had heard someone talk about I would have cringed, but it felt amazing. Like I was hyped up on sugar, but different.

I quickly lifted up the bottle and drank as much as my body could handle without the bitter taste filling my mouth. I put the cold glass bottle down on the table.

"Artie likes beer," Alfred said, nudging me in the side, "Tastes good, eh?"

"Yeah," I said quietly, nodding. It tastes awful, but the feeling it gave me made me want to have more. I stared at the bottle again before taking it and drinking some again. Alfred laughed, so did Liz.

"There's different kinds, if you want to try any others," Liz said loudly, "You'll get drunk with that within two bottles."

"Oh," I muttered quietly, my breath hitting the bottle.

"So, that means don't drink to many," Alfred muttered quietly, between sips, "I don't want to bring you home drunk to an angry Francis. I'm supposed to be watching over you."

"Eh, you're not my mother," I hissed, "I know what I should and shouldn't do, Alfred. You don't need to keep telling me."

"I know," Alfred laughed, "Just reminding you. I don't want Francis getting mad at you and it being my fault."

Man, Alfred was irritating me. He was acting weird, not very friendly at all. Well, an annoying friendly. I felt like snapping at him, but that would be rude, I don't want to have a bad impression on his friends.

"It wouldn't be your fault," I muttered, "I have full responsibility for myself. Quit acting like my brother."

"Sorry," Alfred muttered, taking another sip of his beer, "Didn't mean to irate you." I guess Alfred knew I was irritated. "Want me to get you some more beer? You're drinking that mighty fast."

"Um, Sure, Alfred," I said quietly. Alfred left the couch as I continued to drink the beer.

"So, Arthur," The voice scared me, everyone was fucking scaring me tonight, but it came from the person farthest from me. He was albino, Alfred had introduced him, but I forgot his name, "How's it like, being famous?" His slur obviously showed he was drunk.

"Not very fun, actually," I murmured, scratching my head, "I guess it's just not the life for me. I like quiet."

"Then why are ya here?" Liz giggled, "High teenagers, party lights, it's not very calm."

"Well, this is different!" I said loudly, laughing slightly. I took another swig of my beer, until I noticed the bottle was empty, "Alfred! Where the hell is he?"

Liz started to laugh quietly, and I watched as my songwriter came thumping down the stairs, "Sorry, I got caught up in something." Alfred quickly handed me the beer before staring at me with his eyebrows furrowed.

"What?" I asked stupidly as he sat down next to me.

"Nothing, just, you know."

"Last one, I know."

"Hey, I think you should maybe stop drinking."

"Hm?' I turned around. I don't think I was drunk yet, but why the hell was I standing out on the deck in the freezing cold. The man who had told me obviously had an accent similar to mine, but I couldn't put my name on it. "Your, your one of Alfred's friends, eh?" I recognized his deep red hair and forest green eyes as someone I had met before.

"Well, where is that little bastard?" The other laughed, walking over to join me, "Isn't he supposed to be watching over you?"

"Bullocks," I hissed, turning to lean on the wooden railing again. It was silent out here, almost. "He's not watching me, far from it. Just my friend."

The other laughed gently, "Well, you met me before, but just in case, the names Angus." He tapped the railing with his skinny fingers. Angus was tall, but skinny and didn't look half as strong as even Jace. He had my body type, but yet even looked manlier then I did. That bugged me.

"Well, Arthur, but like you said we met."

"And your famous."

"Oh yeah, that," I huffed angrily and leant over some more. My legs felt funny, but the burning feeling remanded. I had had three beers, and I think I was in the middle of sober and drunk. But how would I know? I felt sick but not bubbly like people say being drunk is like. But I wanted more beer, even though I knew I couldn't have any.

"Well, I've heard that you're gay." The bold comment shocked me, how the hell would he know that? I bet it was the magazines! Fuck! "Don't give me that look, Alfred told me." Angus chuckled.

"Why the hell would he do that?" I hissed, "Did he tell everyone?" I actually wasn't upset as I thought I would be. Alfred had gotten drunk ages ago. I think he was sleeping somewhere inside.

"Yeah," Angus said, "He can be a real idiot sometimes."

His comment rubbed me the wrong way, like I wanted to yell at him for saying that. But, he was somewhat right, Alfred wasn't the smartest at times. But that didn't mean he wasn't smart. "Yeah, I guess."

"You took that offensively, hm?" Angus laughed as I scoffed. "Well, anyhow, I'm also attracted to some men. Maybe we'll get along."

"Some men?" I muttered.

"Yeah, I'm thinking I'm bi." Angus huffed loudly, "But hey, you might wanna leave Alfred here. He's… napping I think."

"Yeah, I know," I murmured, looking down at the grass on the other side of the railing, "He sure can party."

"Life of the party, Liz always says," Angus laughed, "More like the idiot of the party." I frowned, Alfred's not an idiot. He's my friend, or, I think he's my friend at least.

"He's not that stupid," I muttered, "I've heard he's good with music."

"Well, of course he is, he's a master at playing the piano," Angus said loudly, "But that doesn't make his intelligence any different."

"Whatever," I muttered with a shrug, not in the mood to argue. Angus stared at me, for a while actually, before turning around and walking back inside. The way he was staring at me freaked me out, it wasn't angry nor sad, he looked more like he adored me. It scared me, I want to date, but I don't want to go through the drama. I'm not even attracted to him, like, at all. I'm starting to think I like stronger guys like Alfred and Jace, not that I'm saying I have crushes on them. Their body types are just very attractive. His personality rubs me the wrong way as well. But I'm getting a little over myself.

"Might want to get Alfred, bring him home," Angus hissed before going back inside, "He's going to get himself fired with his addiction."

I swallowed and waited for a few moments. I wasn't a big fan of Angus. He made me feel nervous, and frustrated. It was such a terrible feeling of wanting to yell, wanting to be shy, and wanting to be proper. I didn't like it. After five minutes I went back inside.

I found Alfred on the couch; he seemed to be half awake. I smiled, who's the responsible one now, Alfred? Liz was talking to him; she was sober, drinking some fruity drink. It was probably alcohol, but I didn't know for sure.

"Hey Arthur," Liz said with a smile, "Look at the poor thing, he's a wreck." Liz giggled and so did I.

"Oh, hey Arthur!" Alfred howled, lifting up an empty beer bottle, "What are ya doing here?"

"Brought me here, remember?" I said quietly, still smiling.

"Oh, oh yeah…" Alfred trailed off and looked at the ceiling.

"You should see him when he's really riled up, It's hilarious," Liz said, taking a sip of the bright pink liquid in her glass, "I think we still got videos."

"Can I watch 'em another time?" I said quietly, "I think it's time I go home, I'll probably stay over later once I get used to the taste of beer." I smiled, Liz pouted her lips.

"Aw, you should stay. We didn't get much time to talk," Liz bit her lip, "But that's alright. This party wasn't very fun, anyways."

"But," I said, "What is he like when he gets really crazy?" I laughed, Liz rolling her eyes with a smile.

"It's all, a big party, like," Alfred said, scaring me a little, "We got the beer, and then Feliciano brings out the party bush, and things get real crazy."

"He means weed," Liz laughed, "Alfred and I don't smoke though, but the fumes tend to affect everyone, even if you don't do it directly. I don't know how, just happens." I nodded. "Well, any who, last time Alfred almost completely stripped in front of everyone and danced with his brother on the tables over there, probably the best thing I've ever seen." I ended up smiling, since Matthew looked just like Alfred. That must have been pretty damn funny.

"Okay, well I should drag this sucker home," I said with a soft smile, doing a small head motion towards Alfred. "Oh, by the way, is that alcohol?"

"I don't drink," Liz smiled evilly, "Don't tell the guys."

"Alfred's right here."

"Yeah but look at him," Liz laughed. I smiled and nodded.

"Well, goodnight Liz." I said quietly. Liz wished me a goodnight as I tried to get Alfred up. "C'mon, Alfred, let's go home," I kneeled down next to the couch. It took a lot of coaxing, but I eventually got Alfred outside. I looked like an idiot; I had to talk to him very nicely. I didn't mind treating Alfred like this, I would if he wasn't drunk, but this was kind of fun.

"So, ya have a good night?" Alfred said in a slur as we walked outside. I had to take him by the hand to make sure he didn't run away.

"Yeah," I said quietly. The fired up feeling had left, leaving me a hollow, sickened shell.

"Well, that's good," Alfred purred, clumsily hitting my thigh with his, "Good in the hood!"

The next morning Alfred had a hangover. It was kind of fun to watch, especially since I saw it as payback for me having to tuck him in last night. He complained for the whole day to me, like he was some child. I knew the only reason why he was complaining was because I now knew he went to parties. I got so tired of his whining that I had to take care of him for the whole other half of that day. I had to force him to swallow some Advil and wait for him to fall asleep.

He was being quiet annoying for a while, but once I promised I would stay with him in his room it was alright. Damn, Alfred has a really nice body, by the way. And its not even over the top, he has a nice little five-pack and just a overall very impressive body figure. I guess I've never noticed this, but you can also sort of see how big Alfred's biceps are even through his shirts. Damn, Alfred's really fit. He must have worked hard for that. And when he was sick, he would knit his brows together and just make one of the sexiest faces I have ever seen on a male. Even when he's in pain, Alfred is really attractive.

Not that I'm in love with him. Girls call each other pretty all the time, that's what I do with Alfred. Nothing more. Even if I did have a crush on him, that would be wrong. Not because Alfred's a dork, its because Alfred's my friend, and he's straight. Being in love with a straight guy feels wrong on so many levels, for the one crushing and the straight one.

I actually went out for a drink with Liz the next week. She apparently found out my number, which I didn't mind. I liked Liz, she was nice. Just like I liked Jace and Alfred. But, I really felt loved by Liz, like I felt loved by Alfred at first. I'm not so sure about Alfred anymore, but Liz is really nice. I wish Alfred liked me like I liked him, but whatever. Well, I wasn't sure yet, so I can't say. But I'm guessing he doesn't like me as much as I like him.

"So, you don't like coffee?" Liz said in the warm coffee shop. Jace wasn't working today, but I'm happy he wasn't so I could spend some time with Liz.

"Nope. I like tea," I took another sip of my tea since we were on the topic.

"Jeez, you're a real Brit," Liz laughed, "Wait, can you say 'don't be such a pain in the arse?'"

I laughed, "No, but I do say arse."

"Oh god," Liz started to laugh as I rolled my eyes.

"Hey, do you think Alfred likes me?" That was the weirdest, most random sentence that came out of my mouth. It sounded awkward, especially because it came out of no where.

"Arthur," Liz's confused face turned into a smirk.

"No! I meant friend way!" I shouted, letting my jaw go loose as I said the words, "Like, I'm really fond of the lad and it feels weird if he doesn't like me as much as I like him and, ah." I covered my face.

Liz chuckled, "Don't worry, I know what you're saying. Alfred really likes you."

"Really?" I said lifting my head up, "That was really damn awkward for a second there."

"Eh, its fine Arthur. But yeah, Alfred talks about you a lot, it's cute," Liz giggled, "He tell you about the thing yet?"

"The thing?" I cocked my head to the side questioningly.

"The suicide thing." I frowned.

"Oh, that," I'd rather forget about that, actually.

"Yeah, that's pretty damn cute If you ask me," Liz said, "but to answer your question, yes, Alfred is really fond of you."

"Like, best friend?" My sentence hung in the air after I spoke.

"Yeah," Liz nodded, "He loved you even before he met you." Liz tapped the table with her fingers, as if the table was a piano. Her fingers were long and skinny, she even painted her fingernails a sky-blue.

"Any who, when is the next piss up?" I asked quietly, distracting myself from her skilled-looking fingers.

Liz squinted at me for a few seconds, "Um?"

"Ah, excuse me, party? Drinking session?" I corrected myself, remembering that everyone isn't as British as I am.

"Oh, well, I don't know," Liz said with a shrug, "maybe in a few weeks, we just have 'em randomly."

"Well that's not a very good system," I smiled, "I think it's just because I'm used to planning things so much."

"Maybe we can get the party bush out next time," Liz murmured quietly. I had to remind myself what the 'party bush' was before I understood her sentence, "I wonder what it would be like seeing you baked." Liz glared at me with a smirk.

"Oh, belt up, Liz!"

The next day I was in my room, like always. Playing my guitar, letting my singing leak out of my mouth in murmurs.

Here is when I started to think. Right here, in my room, singing quietly. Why do I think so much about Alfred?

It's a strange thing, but it's probably because I am so fond of him. He's a nice boy, the first friend I've had in ages, and damn he's handsome. But, I don't love him. That would be wrong, plus I'd be pressuring him just not myself. I do think about him way to much though, and Alfred and Jace are basically the same person, and I don't think about Jace nearly as much as I think about Alfred. Alfred's just a bit more fit and musically talented then Jace is. And what about that Angus fellow? He looked like he really liked me that one night, which was pretty damn scary. He can't love me, I don't love him. And that's how Alfred would feel about me if I were crushing on him, and that's just wrong.

But, what if I'm only letting the wrong factor get in the way? What if Alfred was gay too? Would I be openly crushing on him? No, that can't be it, Alfred's just a very good friend, who's also extremely sexy and I can't stop thinking about him. God, I can't have a crush on him, that just won't do!

I ended up groaning in anger on my bed, hands tangled in my hair.

Goddamnit, living a semi-normal life is hard.

And why the hell does Alfred have to be so attractive? For fucks sake, Alfred, stop exercising so much your making me attracted to you!

* * *

**Authors Note-**

fucking pokemon distracting me from this

plus i'm volunteering at this haunted train ride so its hard to get chapters in .-. My throat has been hurting because I have to scream at children ahhh

BUT HERE WE GO

Arthur's going to parties now yay. And yes, Liz always has to be in these. I love that little Hungarian XP! Oh yeah, the whole party bush thing, thats what a few people at my school call weed. Some kids already smoke (which is really bad, because the oldest person in my grade is only 15), so that's like their code name for weed. I find it funny, so meh.

I'm sorry if I got the beer thing wrong, I looked up what it tastes like and stuff, so hopefully I got as close as it to I could without ever having a taste of beer in my life. I used that one scene in Catching Fire where Katniss gets drunk with Haymitch, that helped a lot XP (I'm a huge Hunger Games fan if nobody can tell.)

well here. Next chapter might be up by next Friday or around there.


	5. Chapter 5

The ceiling was all bubbly. I couldn't just feel the heat, I could smell it, see it. The smoke fumes that smelt like cigarettes with a kick filled my nostrils as they flared. It seemed as if the ceiling moved, and it made me peaceful. So strangely peaceful. I had already been drunk, so the feeling of the weed through my body made things weirder. I felt like laughing, laughing hard and long until my throat burned out. So, that's what I did. It was the only other thing I could do besides cower in fear. Instead of laughing hard to get out my stress, it came out as a small giggle as I watched the ceiling tiles move.

The peacefulness was scaring me.

I could feel my heart pound and stomach urn as the world around me went blurry with bright colors. I can see why Alfred doesn't take this stuff directly, this is terrifying. I'm so hot, and the laughter of everyone around me's laughter blew up in sound. My mouth was all dry, I couldn't even bring up any spit from the depths of my throat to get my mouth wet and warm again. I wanted to cry, I felt helpless and small around all the noise and the sight intensifying.

"Arthur?"

The voice tuned me back into reality somewhat, the laughter still loud but my site coming in a bit better. I looked on as Alfred kneeled down next to my body, which has resumed the position of laying on the couch.

"Hey, are you high?"

No, Alfred, I'm not high. No way I'm high, my eyes are beat red and I look insane, yeah, not high.

Alfred looked at me angrily and turned up to yell at the others who were smoke the party bush, "Who the fuck gave Arthur weed?" A small murmur followed from behind the couch, "Guys, I've told you, don't let Arthur smoke the party bush!" Alfred growled angrily before whipping his hand in his head. Alfred always seemed frustrated when we first got to parties, but he usually shrugged it off within minutes.

"This, this is really weird," I said, my tongue like sand-paper against my mouth.

"Are ya scared?" Alfred cocked his head to the side, placing his hand on my shoulder. He looked even nicer then he normally did, or I just saw him as my savior from the effects of weed.

"Yeah," I said it just above a whisper, and Alfred nodded in return.

"Do ya want to go home?" Alfred was talking extremely nicely, it wasn't his normal voice tone. He was being very gentle with his words, "I can set you up a nice hot bath if ya want?"

I shook my head. I didn't want to leave, I like these parties, I just didn't like the feeling I had right now. "How… How long does this last?"

"How much did you smoke?"

"Maybe… Three… Two?" I squinted, trying to think back to when I inhaled the stuff. Alfred nodded, his eyelids dropping, looking like he was relaxed. "Two puffs…"

"Maybe an hour or two," Alfred said quietly, looking up at the ceiling "Is it, loud?"

"Yeah," I nodded slightly, "Fucking party bush."

Alfred laughed, "Do ya want me to stay with you until the effect wears off?" I nodded. Alfred was my only comfort in the room right now, since I trusted him the most while I was here.

"Remind me… Never, ever to do this again."

Alfred laughed and nodded, "I will." Alfred sat on the very edge of the couch, his back pressed up against my hips. The couch sunk so I was forced to lay against him. I sighed, his hand starting to rub my back. "Doesn't feel very well, does it?" Alfred laughed softly and countuied to rub my back. I looked up at him so my eyes met with his. He had such a nice shape to his face, such a pretty eye color. He looked like the American dream, blue eyes, blonde hair, tan, strong. Alfred had it all.

Eventually I sat up next to him, leaning against him for support. Alfred was solid; he felt rock hard whenever I put my hand on his chest, so he was a good support. I closed my eyes, my head rubbing against his briefly.

"He okay?" It was Jace's deeper voice reaching through. I slowly opened my eyes to look at him.

"I think," Alfred laughed, "Someone did the party bush," Alfred's arm wrapped around my shoulders, pushing me into his warmth. The feeling was nice, nice enough I ignored Jace's presence and countuied to enjoy his embrace. Alfred really did make me feel safe, it wasn't just his muscles, but the way he was so reassuring. I trusted Alfred, a lot more then when I found out about his partying. Ever since I had that chat with Liz, I've felt much better in my friendship status with Alfred, and was pretty content on where I was. The only thing else I wanted is my friendships with Liz and Jace to get better, and maybe that Angus fellow to leave me alone. And maybe, a little bit more from Alfred. Not dating, no, just a better connection.

I have made a decision on my mind-set on Alfred at the moment. If Alfred ever asked me out, which would never happen because he's straight, but if he did, then yes I would date him. I have come up with I would be happy with a relationship with Alfred, but I don't technically want it. Maybe, maybe I do want it, but I'm not thinking about it constantly. I think about Alfred constantly, but that's totally different. Or at least that's what I've been telling myself. I'm pretty sure I'm not lying to myself though, because I feel pretty good about my decision. For now I would just make myself happy with small little touches from him and friendly gestures, that's really all I needed. I needed to know if Alfred was fond of me like I was of him.

"Artie?" Alfred's voice brought my eyes to open. I looked up at Jace with a quiet hum of my lips.

"Yup, his eyes are all red," Jace smiled, "Arthur's baked."

"Don't," I paused, squinting, "Don't make fun of it." I had truthfully gotten pressured into trying the party bush. Angus was in it to, but he was just smiling and smoking a cigar, but that made me pissed off enough to do it. "Any-road, I had been p… Pressured into it."

"Any road?" Jace squinted.

"Anyway," I murmured, leaning closer to Alfred's warmth. He put his free hand around my other shoulder, sending small chills up my spine. I could tell Alfred and I had a special friendship, I hadn't seen him do this with anyone else, ever.

"Ya sure you don't wanna go home?" Alfred said quietly, rubbing my shoulder.

"Yeah," I muttered, closing my eyes again, "But I feel barmy."

Alfred laughed quietly, "I have no idea what you say half the time."

Liz was next to notice I felt like shit. I felt the skinny fingers run down my back, making my spine twitch in recoil. God, just leave me alone. I love you guys, but seriously?

"He okay?" Liz's voice spoke in.

"Yeah," I murmured in, even though I knew she was talking to Alfred. I could feel Liz and Jace staring at me, and it bugged me. I think Alfred knew this and was possibly trying to shield me away from them, because once Liz came over Alfred held me even closer to him. Either that or just some coincidence. I knew Alfred wanted to protect me, it was intimidating yet comforting. Because, well, I can take care of myself. But right now I really didn't care. I truly felt bugged but yet comforted right now. Maybe I did just want to go home, tonight had been fun and all, but I think it's about time I let the warmth of the duvet surround me.

"Alfred," I said it as a small whisper when I meant it to be louder, "I think I want to go home." Alfred smiled softly.

"I knew you'd be saying that eventually," Alfred laughed softly, "do ya want me to carry you there?" I didn't have to think about that long, I was disoriented and really didn't care what I looked like to others right now. I nodded.

"Okay," Alfred said softly, "Night guys."

After our goodbyes Alfred picked me up in his arms and carried me home. I had buried head in the crook of his neck as we walked home. I must of fallen asleep, the walk home was very short, and it normally felt very long.

"Just wanna go straight to bed?" Alfred had asked as we walked into my house. I think he was now being careful to shield my face from anyone that could be awake, even though everybody was normally asleep by this time. I did look like a mess, and we both knew Francis would stop my partying if he saw me coming home like this. Alfred brought me to my room, shutting the door behind him as he plopped me on my bed. It hurt, my spine being brought upward briefly. I took off my shirt and threw it on the floor, not bothering to take off my jeans, even though sleeping in jeans was complete bullocks in my opinion.

Alfred came back after closing the door, which made almost no sense to me because he was leaving, but anyways he awkwardly tucked me in. I kept eye contact with him the whole time, my eyebrows furrowing.

"What are you doing?" I said, the volume in my voice coming back, "I'm no child, Al."

"I know," Alfred's eyes widened softly, and his concentrated face was replaced by a nervous smile, "I don't know, just thought, ah." Alfred shrugged and I smiled softly. "Well, er, goodnight."

"Night," I muttered, my eyes falling. I felt like shit, complete shit. I was a bit surprised when the mattress lowered and I could easily tell Alfred was pressing his hands against it. A soft, slightly wet warmth spread quickly across both of my cheeks.

Before I could open my eyes the door was softly clicked shut. He just kissed me, on both cheeks. I quickly sat up in my bed and covered my face with my hands, blush spreading over my face. That felt so weird, but good. Good in a kind, warm, Alfred kind of way. I could feel my heart race speed up no matter how many times I told myself he was just being friendly.

Maybe I'm under-looking this whole Alfred ordeal.

I watched him yell.

Jace's arm was placed lazily on my shoulder as I stared. We, none of us were drunk, nor high, we weren't even at a party. Angus was just pissed off. It was of scary, since he already made me uneasy. But the Alfred factor was even worse.

I'm not sure what the fighting was about actually. Jace picked me up at me house saying "Hey, we're all going to the park, come with us." And by the time we got their Alfred and Angus were at it. Alfred had been angrily muttering stuff like 'you're not the boss of me.' And Angus yelling; 'Why have you always been so ignorant?' Stuff like that.

I leaned into Jace. Alfred looked like his patience was about gone, and I literally wanted to yell at Angus to stop fighting with him, because it seriously looked like Alfred was holding back the urge to punch him. You could tell, if Alfred punched a guy like Angus, things wouldn't be pretty. Plus, I did not like seeing Alfred like this. It was way to different and unsettling for me to see someone I was used to acting a certain way flip that personality around. Because right now, Alfred looked like a growling pit bull about to snap at a yapping Chihuahua.

"You're such an idiot, you know that?" Angus screamed, this rubbing me the wrong way, "You would be nowhere, nowhere without me!"

"No," Alfred was getting in his face, "I would have been fine without you. And I don't need you now."

"Fuck ye dain?" Angus hissed again, stepping closer to Alfred, to the point where their noses were almost touching. "Look at you! You're still clueless!"

"I'm doing perfectly fine, much fucking better then when I was at the orphanage," Alfred growled.

Angus faked a small chuckle, "Yeah, making songs for someone who doesn't even give you credit."

I was appalled at first, that wasn't my fault. But, I didn't really have time for my disgust to crawl into my body, for this was the moment where Alfred exploded. Right as I saw his jaw relax and eyes widen, I knew it was coming. Alfred took a quick step back to balance himself out as he launched a fist at Angus. I felt Jace get up as Alfred screamed; "Shut the fuck up!", it all happened so fast we really didn't have time to process it until it was too late. Liz had jumped from next to me. We heard the loud whimper coming from Angus after the loud thud from Alfred's fist against his face.

"Okay, that's enough," I heard Jace murmur as he got up from the curb. He put himself between Alfred and Angus, who was now on the ground. I put my arms protecting around Liz, since the gentleman is always supposed to make the female feel better, gay or not. She scooted closer to me and pressed her head against my cheek. "Woah, come on," Jace said loudly, pushing on Alfred's shoulders, "Dude, what the hell?"

Alfred didn't even look at him. His head was pointed at him, but he stared blankly outwards. It wasn't a numb look though, his brows were squinted, and he looked confused. He had that what-did-I-just-do look.

Alfred looked over Jace's shoulder quickly, looking at Angus who was whipping away the blood that dripped out of his nose. I swallowed, watching the two meet eye contact. "Dude, I'm sorry," Alfred murmured looking back into Jace's eyes. Alfred took a step back as Liz quickly went to aid the bleeding Angus. I watched Alfred back up as Jace turned around to check in on him too.

I just watched. Alfred eventually turned around to walk away. Jace turned back and screamed; "Where are you going?"

"Home," Alfred called back, picking up his pace. I looked at the three to the left and then back at Alfred, and clumsily got up to join my best friend. I ran over to him awkwardly, looking over my shoulder to look at Jace and Liz talking quietly to the injured redhead before grabbing Alfred's hand.

"You okay?"

"Fine," Alfred muttered, quickly ripping his hand away. I would have yelled at him, but obviously Alfred didn't want to be touched. I looked up at him, and his irises met mine, and Alfred quickly sped up his pace.

"Hey, wait up," I murmured, loud enough for him to hear me. Alfred looked at me quickly before going out in an all-out sprint towards home.

I couldn't catch up to him. I knew that, so I didn't try. It bugged me that Alfred didn't even want to walk home with me. I trusted him, I felt safe with him, I even loved him. Loved him to a certain point that I would allow myself, may I mind. But, clearly, he didn't trust me very much. I'm probably being selfish, but I just can't help myself but think about it. I felt bad for him, but I didn't really know what was wrong yet.

I eventually got home, and I immediately looked for him. I didn't care that he didn't want to talk to me, I needed to talk to him, I could make him feel better, I knew I could somehow. I can make Alfred laugh, its not too hard to get him happy. I felt kind of sick, my throat tingled slightly from my worry, and every time I swallowed the feeling just came right back. I knew where he went, he had to be in his room. That's the only logical place.

I checked if it was locked, flicking the doorknob to see if it would refuse to open. It surprisingly did, and I pushed it open gently. If I wasn't gentle, I would freak Alfred out. I knew so far that reaching out to him forcefully wasn't good, which I have raised my voice at him before and Alfred doesn't really listen, he just gets defensive or upset and sulky. I haven't been too harsh before with him, I've just shown my irritation if he gets to loud.

"Al?" I muttered awkwardly, peeking into his room. He was on his bed, headphones in. He peeked up at me, shooting me a small glance with his blue eyes. I could hear the muffled sound of his music through his headphones, and I frowned. "You'll hurt your ears that way," I said, moving to his bed and kneeling down next to him, taking off his headphones. Alfred furrowed his brow as I did so. "Too loud, Alfred, that's not good."

"I know," Alfred said quietly, "Just lets out stress, I guess." Alfred shrugged and sat up on his bed, "I'm surprised you would want to talk to me."

"No," I sat next to him on his bed after getting up, "Its fine."

Alfred smiled softly, putting his hand to the back of his head, "Sorry for running off."

"S'fine," I said, patting his back, "You good?"

"Yeah," Alfred nodded, his smile growing slightly larger, "Its just, I don't know," Alfred sighed, his smile completely disappearing, my hopes dying.

"What happened?" I asked, crossing my legs. I cocked my head to the side as Alfred's brow furrowed.

"Well, goes back a long way," Alfred said, pursing his lips and clicking them, "Well, when I was in the orphanage, Angus was like the boss, cuz he was the oldest. Like, he's twenty now, so he's three years older than me. And I used to look up to him because he was the big kid," Alfred stated simply, "He was an asshole, but I really didn't notice cuz I was like three. And I followed him around and when I did something he didn't like he would make me look bad. And then I started realizing he was a jerk."

I couldn't help but laugh quietly at that. "Well, any who, He started calling me stupid around this time. He realized I couldn't be like him, so we turned against each other sort of. Like, frenimies." Alfred paused and took a breath, "And ever since then, people always have seen me as the bad guy whenever something like that happens, cuz when he told all the other kids, yeah, they told my non-orphan friends like Jace and Liz. So, it's always been my fault." Alfred sighed and his facial expression loosened up.

"Come on, now, Alfred," I murmured, "We don't think like that about you."

Alfred's lips tugged up in somewhat of a smile, "But, it's true. You haven't been around for many of the fights I get it, I try to hold back but I can't sometimes," Alfred bit his lip, "And when I do snap, everyone thinks I'm some monster because I'm big, strong and loud, I wish I could be quiet when I yell but I can't." Alfred looked down, and I reached out to touch his shoulder.

"I get where you're coming from," I said quietly, trying to reassure the blonde. He really did look sad, it was buried deep in his expression, but it was defiantly there.

"Thanks," Alfred said airily, "I try to be nice, but," Alfred squinted, "I always end up being the bad guy." I was about to say something until I saw Alfred's lip curl and he hunched over, covering his face with his hands. My heart sank once a long whimper emanated from him. God, this was really awkward and terrible. I didn't like this feeling, I didn't want to see happy-go-lucky Al cry. "I-I'm sorry," Alfred had chocked out, his voice all broken, "Y-ya don't have to stay, not your job to make me feel better."

"No, I'll, um, stay," I muttered, scooting over next to him. I awkwardly patted his back, swallowing. I was afraid he'd swat my hand away like a lot of people normaly do, but he didn't. I felt his heavy breathing through his back, but I couldn't feel his spine despite how hunched over he was. Probably because Alfred was so big, he wasn't very bony. I was the bony one.

I eventually summoned up enough of the not shy side of me and hugged him, his big, warm figure. He stopped for a moment, until hugging me back.

"Ya don't think I'm the bad guy, right, Arthur?"

"of course not."

And I held him for a while, his head rested on my shoulder. He wasn't crying, no, but you could still tell Alfred was upset. The way his fists balled up in my shirt, the way he bent over just to press his head against my shoulder.

"Is it weird to say that you're my best friend?"

I felt myself relax with the sentence; it just felt so good to hear him say that. To know he liked me back, to know he actually liked me a lot. "No, it's not weird," I said quietly, "Um, you're my best friend too." I patted his back, "You okay?"

"Yeah," Alfred said airily, picking his head off my shoulder and whipping his eyes. "Sorry."

"No, no, its fine," I shook my head slightly. "Should you, maybe, take your pills or something?"

Alfred smiled softly, his lips gently tugging into a cracked smile, "No, they aren't happy pills, Arthur."

"Oh?" I cocked my head in confusion. I knew they weren't 'happy' pills.

"You don't really understand disorders, do you?" Alfred said, patting my head. I recoiled, that gesture giving the gesture of being looked down upon. "Sorry," Alfred immediately pulled his hand back.

"It's fine," I said quietly, rubbing my own head.

Alfred and I talked for a little while, I being very cautious with my words. I didn't want to be setting the poor guy off again, since Alfred was finally his calm happy self again. My heartstrings were still being tugged on though, with the constant thought of what was going on in Alfred's head? He was still rather quiet and awkward, but he looked happy. Alfred played on his synthesizer for a while, and I contently listened, because Alfred was truly a master at piano. And I went back to my room. I wished Alfred a goodbye, and left.

TEXT MESSAGE RECEIVED: 5:45 P.M. Read across my phone.

I frowned slightly, taking my phone off my nightstand, reading the messages. I plopped lazily on my bed, my neck bobbing upward a bit painfully.

Jace, 5:45 P.M.: Hey Artie, is Al okay?

Yeah, you completely ignored him when he walked off. Why wouldn't they feel the least bit bad? Or, I guess they did feel bad, maybe they just saw the number one issue at the moment was Angus being injured. An injury is probably worse than mental damage, I guess.

Arthur, 6:52 P.M: I think so? We talked for a while, he seems happy now.

I awaited his answer for a few moments but it never came. This was probably because it had been a little over an hour since he texted me and he's probably busy now.

I had another weird porn dream that night. This is really starting to freak me out; I really hope I don't fall hopelessly in love with the guy that would hurt the both of us. Well, it looks like where this is heading I probably won't, but, maybe. I really hope I don't. We were grinding in bed or something, but I don't remember much. I remember groaning in frustration though when I woke up from the damn thing. I guess my conscious is making me avoid full-out crushing on him, because these dreams are weird, and I didn't even watch any porn tonight.

I had left the party early. I hadn't seen hide nor hair of Angus, to my relief, maybe he had decided to stay away. I heard that Alfred broke his nose. Jesus, Alfred's a freight train, he could literally have a position as my bodyguard if the song writing thing doesn't work out.

Alfred was probably going to come home soon, he had only had a beer, and it's too late in the night to get hammered.

I was still kind of dizzy from the fumes coming from the party bush. I don't smoke it, clearly, the fumes do spread around just as Liz said, though. I didn't feel too bad, I was starting to wind down as the cool air hit my lungs.

I smelt the terrible odor of cigars. I grimaced, this not being the 'party bush' smell i'm used too. The rub of a match sizzled through the quiet air, and my head was attracted in the direction it had come from.

That damned redhead stared at me, his green eyes glaring at me. It wasn't necessarily a hateful glance, more of a curiosity. His head was slightly cocked and eyebrows twisted, the cigar twisting in his mouth.

I felt my glare intensify as Agnus sat down next to me.

My only thought was 'How dare he?' How dare he, the one who made my crush cry, even think about sitting next to me? Poor Alfred, this monster destroyed his life! Or, a part of his life. I'm just overreacting a bit, because well, I absolutely adore Alfred. He's nice, caring and strong, and what was Agnus? Nothing, Agnus was a controlling asshole for what I know.

"'Hey," Agnus said. I let a small growl out of my throat.

"Hey," I said between gritted teeth. I should leave, right?

"Care for a smoke?"

"I don't smoke, unlike you; the walking heart attack," I muttered,shuffling my legs too try and get the cold out.

"Party bush is even worse then a cigar," Angus said with a slight hiss, stamping his feet in the wet asphalt.

"I only did that once."

"You can't just have one Arthur, you're going to want it after a while."

I snickered, "Yeah, right." I let my snicker turn into a sneer as my lips turned. Angus grunted and sat up further, sighing as his back popped quietly.

"C'mon, just one smoke," Angus muttered after a while, taking out a cigar for me. I actually considered saying yes, but I noticed that one flaw in the cigar he took out, one flaw the others did not have. It was longer. Not by much, but it was noticeable. He held it out, the tip balancing in between his long, skinny fingers. I squinted at it. It was longer, and now that I stared at it, it looked messy. Not, not messy as in really noticeable, it just looked unprofessional. It was a greyish color with wrinkles, more wrinkles than normal cigars had.

I then realised that he was trying to drug me.

That cigarette was clearly left for me. His skilled looking fingers searched around for it, just that one. I didn't know what it would do to me or what he would do to me after, but I was ninety-nine percent sure he was trying to drug me.

Before either of us spoke, I quickly smacked the cigar out of his hand. Angus looked shocked, recoiling his arm as the cigar fell to the asphalt a few feet away. We watched it roll, the cigar starting to get wet.

He turned slowly to me, his eyes wide, but they soon fell as he nodded.

"Smarter than I thought."

I sneered, "I could get you arrested, you know," Thats it, i've cornered him. Bye, bye, Angus. I can't beileve he tried to drug me, though. What the hell was he thinking of doing with me? Rape me, kill me? Damn it, I didn't know what this redhead was capable of! He was more than just an asshole, he could be a murderer for all I know! The unsettled feeling I got from him was correct.

"Ah, stop acting so spoiled. You'd be much cuter if you didn't."

Spoiled? Excuse me!

Angus got up and brushed off his pants before walking off, carelessly.

"Cute? Spoiled! Am not!" I hissed, jumping to my feet. I ran after him, but he wasn't far from me so it took little effort.

Angus chuckled, "That's making your argument worse."

I felt my nostrils flare and my teeth mash together. "Why do you even want me to be 'cute'? Why the hell would you even care?"

Angus smiled. A half smile, his eyebrows knitting in an amused look. I felt my back start to tingle with anger.

"Well, obviously being cute is the only thing going for you," Angus said, him adding another sentence before I could react, "You should embrace it."

I let myself explode.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I shouted, grabbing him by the shoulders, he turned around with ease, probably because he let me, "I am a man, I am not cute! I am a singer, musician, and far more caring than you'll ever be!"

Angus and I stared at each other. His eyes wide with interest and my body shuddering from the anger. I swear, at that moment, a red-rage color was laid over my vision in a thin sheet.

I felt a vain pop as Agnus smiled.

"You see, i'm just trying to help people along in their lives, Alfred is a great exa-."

"No, no he's not! Alfred is a brilliant young man, and so am I! Just because your perspective on us sucks doesn't mean you are allowed to change our personality!"

"Well now, I don't hate you, far from it."

"The fuck, you're so confusing!" I let out a groan as I stamped my feet on the ground in anger, "Cut it out!"

"You're just too prideful to see how I am trying to help," Angus said with a shrug "But, you'll get there eventually."

"Get there? I'm me! I don't need to change anything!"

"Nobody likes you, Arthur."

I stared at him for a few moments. I let go of him slowly while I processed his sentence. It, it hurt. I knew it was a lie, I knew it couldn't be true, I mean, I'm famous! Even if I weren't, I have Alfred, Liz and Jace. Francis and Kiku love me as well. So does my dad. But Angus's calmness, the way he said it was eerie. Far to calm, far too unsettling. The feeling of emptiness was creeping up on me, but he was lying. He knew he was lying, but he made it look like he wasn't.

"What," I paused, squinting as Angus started to dust off his shirt, "what do you mean? I have friends. Alfred, Jace and Liz. And plus, I have millions of fans, why would you even say that?"

I squinted, looking up at him. I felt more calm now, my heart was not racing as the comment previously made it stop.

"You're so blind, Arthur," Angus said calmly, "Alfred only likes you because he doesn't see the angry side of you. You're pride, he sees you as the man who saved his life."

I swallowed. Thats, thats not true! But, hes starting to make me beileve it! Goddamnit, it's not true!

"Liz hardly knows you, she likes everyone. And Jace? He's a backstabber. Trust me, i've known him for ten years."

I felt myself step back. Backstabber? Jace wouldn't do that, he's too nice. I guess I really didn't know Liz all that well, either. But we got coffee together, that counts! Jace and I see each other almost everyday, too.. He's not a backstabber. I don't even know how Jace could do that, I don't see any plan in his mind, its always been just fun.

"And anyways, both Jace and Al are like obedient puppies. Liz is smarter, but you won't even notice she's too polite. And your fans? They don't know you."

"No," I swallowed before speaking, trying to force some more anger out of my body. "You're just trying to get me angry."

"Why would I need to do that?"

I felt my teeth grit together as I looked down. Nothing clever was coming out of my head. Nothing sarcastic, nothing smart, nothing that would even make me sound stupid. Absolutely nothing besides the fact that he had just messed up my head. I'm starting to truthfully beileve Alfred does like me for me, Jace is planning on being a traitor, and Liz doesn't even care. No, that can't be true though. It can't... But it makes a lot of sense. Why Jace would even talk to me in the first place. Why Alfred gets so excited to talk to me. It makes somewhat sense.

"But Arthur, I like you."

The voice brought me back into my bitter reality. I looked at him, squinting. "Sure doesn't sound like it."

"But I do," Angus said quietly, his voice now comforting. No, he's lying, all he's doing is lying. He can't, he doesn't, he doesn't like me. He wants to control me just like Alfred told me he did with him. But who could I believe? I'm not stupid, and I know logic from myth. He sounded so truthful, so real.

My thoughts went numb when Angus's lips met mine.

* * *

**Authors note_**

aw snap

Who saw that coming? Yeah, i'm good at stuff like that. Horrid plot twists.

Sorry for the long blank, i've been lazy. I'm coming up with ANOTHER story, since AITDOH won't be updated for a while. It's about Arthur being in an art college and Al being his roomate, boring, right? lol, but that'll be probably be up in a week or two. For this, maybe a week. Give me some time, Pokemon is distracting me still.


	6. Chapter 6

I don't really remember much after that. The last thing I remember was sprinting home, confused and freaked out. I didn't know what to feel, it was more of a numbness. I could tell I wasnt angry or happy, but I still didn't know what I was feeling. I wasn't sad or scared. I was just dead. Upon arriving in my room I had hid under my covers, maybe trying to fall asleep. I paced back and forth to the bathroom that night, trying to get the taste of cigars off my tongue or to wash off the sensation of chapped lips pressed against my own. I can't take this feeling. I know I don't love Angus, I don't even like him but, his words are getting in my head and tearing my sensible nature apart. I do not like feeling like this, I like to be on top of things, I like to have a tangible view on things. But no matter how many times I tell myself 'Hes just getting inside my head' nothing changes.

Maybe I should go sleep in Alfred's room with him.

Is he home yet? I hope so. He can make me feel better. I won't tell him of course, but Alfred's good at either calming me down or distracting me.

I pulled out my phone and texted him the simple message of "Hey, are you home yet?" I awaited a response, and thank god Alfred responded quickly.

"Yup" The text read, followed by another, "Why? Did ya miss me?" He sent a few winky faces after that.

I texted him, asking him if I could sleep over his house that night. He responded with a yes, and I quickly ran to his room.

"Hey Artie," Alfred greeted me at the door.

"Hi," I said with a small smile, trying to hide the fact that I felt really weird right now, "How was the rest of the party?" I walked in and sat on the red leather couch in his room.

"Oh you know, Liz and I talked and stuff," Alfred shrugged and sat next to me. I was brought closer to him as the cushion sunk, "How about about the walk home?"

"Eh, it was alright, cold and stuff," I said, resting my head on my hands. Alfred started to scoot rather away from me, before laying down on the couch and resting his head on my lap.

"Man, you're bony."

"I know," I laughed, patting his head with my hands. Alfred winced as I poked him.

"Hey, Al," I spoke up, Alfred's eyes looking up to mine.

"Yeah?"

"You uh," I took a pause, understanding what I was about to say was extremely awkward, "Why do you like me?"

Alfred started to laugh. It reassured me, somewhat, that he was taking this as if a joke. It would normally irritate me, but if it was true that he liked me only because I saved his life he wouldn't be laughing. Alfred had such a nice smile, anyways.

"Well, uh," Alfred laughing for a few seconds until speaking, "You're nice and fun to be around. You're not total crazy like all my other friends are, I like that." Alfred smiled, looking up at me with a mischievous glance, "And you can be a sarcastic mother fucker."

"Well, thanks," I laughed, "I think."

That was reassuring. Maybe if Jace didn't even like me, I had Alfred. Alfred was nice and caring, he's good at making me feel better. I'll be alright.

That night I listened to Alfred's quiet snoring. I just layed there, tired but not, looking into the darkness. Damn, it was hot. Alfred has a lot of body heat thats been trapped under the blankets for a while. Plus, Alfred's bed is meant for one so my back was pressed against his. I didn't mind, of course, Alfred's presence was keeping my mind for slipping into that numb state.

But, he didn't keep me from completely wandering. Now that my mind was staying out of the numbness, I could make a good, tangible plan. Angus kissed me, and now that the run back is less scarring I can focus on what he said before that. What did we say? God, that night was so eventful, my brain is all whacky. Maybe I did just run off, lets stick with that. Maybe I should just ignore him. Stay with either Alfred or Jace at all times. I mean, I could handle this on my own without them, but Alfred and Jace would give me some reassurance. I'm not that strong, but I'd say i'm smarter in a plan-making sense, and Agnus does not seem like he would hurt someone.

But wait, he did try to drug me.

Wait, he did try to drug me! Oh lord, what would he have done if I hadn't notice that cigar was longer? Rape seems like the most likely thing. Jesus christ, what did he want to do to me? Blimey, I think i've misjudged this whole situation!

I woke up Alfred in the following moments. It took a lot of shaking him and slapping him, but he woke up after a few moments and we talked for a little. It was funny, because Alfred was half awake, and his voice was really deep and he stared at me weird when I was talking. His tired voice is sexy though, I must say.

I ended up falling asleep locked in a hug with him. I don't think Al would have allowed that if he wasn't this tired, but i'm sure he wouldn't mind too much. It was relaxing though, I loved it. Listening to the quiet thudding of his heart beat while wrapped in a friendly warmth. I couldn't help but smile, I normally would have been really tense in the situation of sleeping with my crush, but he was asleep. Even his quiet snores sounded more like calming purrs than an annoyance.

The next morning wasnt awkward. I'm starting to think Alfred will be one of those friends I can be gay with and it won't be awkward in the morning. We just talked like normal and I teased him on being a heavy sleeper and a snorer. Alfred and I went to the coffee shop that morning. Jace was there, and we all talked for a long while.

I guess I felt better now. More of a small reassurance then anything. The reassurance being that Alfred liked me, and even though I wasn't sure about Jace, I had Alfred.

/**/

Today I met Feliciano. Or, I knew him, but I really met him today. I had taken a walk to the park, as fall was setting in and I thought it was a good time to look at the leaves and such.

I saw him at a bench, feeding some ducks popcorn.

It took me a while. I knew it was him, I recognised his voice and curly hair, and not many Italian boys lived here. I decided to say hi, but then my shyness took over and I decided not too. Jeez, i'm a mess. Well, these last few days I've felt a lot better, I now know i'll be just fine.

Maybe if I walk in front of him, he'll notice me and say hi, so I won't have to communicate randomly with him.

Okay, thats a good plan.

I got off the bench I was sitting on and casually walked in front of the bench Feliciano sat upon. Damn, i'm awkward. I tried not to look at him to much so he would think its just a casual walk by, but I couldn't help but look. he really did look like a man fresh out of Italy. He had high cheek-bones, olive skin color, and the traditional bronze slightly curly hair. I've seen him before but now it was time for an inspection.

"Oh hey," feliciano chirped, a smile spreading across his face. Success. "Arthur!"

"Oh, hi," I said semi-quietly, trying to act if I hadn't seen him.

"Didn't expect to see you here," Feliciano said with a smile, "Or, I didn't expect to see you without Al." I laughed quietly, I did spend a lot of time with Alfred. "Sit, sit!" Feliciano patted the space next to him and I quickly joined his side.

"I havent seen you around," I said quietly, "I mean, I usually see Jace and Liz walking around, but I haven't seen you."

"I don't get out much," Feliciano shrugged, his slightly curly hair bouncing.

"Well you're awful tan," I said, "I'd think you would get out more."

"I'm around a lot of fires, my dad owns a pasta restaurant,"Feliciano said, "I know, i'm a typical Italian." Feliciano giggled childishly. Feliciano was very bouncy, for the most part. Very vivacious, he seemed like a child, even though he looked to be at least nineteen.

"Is it good there?" I asked, looking at him. I felt a cold wind blow through my hair, along with a rushing smell of cheap perfume. Was that Feliciano who smelt like that? Well, the smell did remind me of an Italian restaurant.

"Amazing! Best pasta place around!" Feliciano said with a large smile, "I would know. I'm a cook there myself! Not to sound prideful or anything, but singing to you is like cooking to me!"

That sentence made no sense but I nodded anyways. Feliciano was obviously a big cook, he did look somewhat like one. Like that guy from the Italian dressing commercials, but more wimpy looking.

"So, Arthur," Feliciano said with a bouncy nature, "Do ya have a movie room in that big fancy house of yours?"

"Not necessarily a movie room, but I have a big living room with a big TV," I said, "Why?"

"Alfred and I used to hol movie-party things at my house," Feliciano said, "But then I moved, and stuff happens. Maybe we could have one at your house?"

"Is this a weed-alcohol party?" I asked, "My brot- I mean manager, is strict about that stuff."

Feliciano just shook his head, "Nah, just our friend group. It's a little dorky thing, we watch movies and stuff and then leave." I started to get excited. That sounds fun, and I love movies! I sound like a child, don't I?

"Thats a great idea," I said with a smile, "I can ask my brother, and I can have Al text you the answer or something, and you guys could invite everyone."

"Can't I just give you my number?" Feliciano laughed, "That'd be a bit easier."

"Oh, oh yeah."

Feliciano gave me his phone number, and we said our goodbyes a few moments later as he had to leave. He said he had resturant hours or something. I really liked Feliciano, he seemed like a fun guy. Not someone I could be gay with like Alfred, not that kind of fun. But one of those people you could talk to and never get bored. I needed one of those friends. I knew Alfred was one of those people, but I was crushing on him, so its different.

/**/

"Jace! Dude!" I looked up from my conversation with Liz to see a freezing cold Jace step through the door, Al sprinting over to him to give him a tight hug.

"Dude, get off!" Jace shouted, his lips parting into a smile.

"No, I shall warm you up with my bear hug."

Liz and I laughed before turning to our conversation once again. We both lay on our stomachs, feet in the air. "We should totally paint your nails dark green."

"No thanks, Liz."

"Maybe like, the British flag?"

"Lets avoid painting my nails."

"Aw,common! Please?"

"No way!"

We both started giggling quietly as the door slammed open again. Feliciano and Matthew stepped through the doorway.

"Woah, Arthur, you're house is big!" Feliciano exclaimed, his fingers expanding.

"Why, thanky-!" I was cut off my Alfred yelling; "My brothah!" And running to his brother, picking him up with ease even though they were about the same size.

"Al, put me down!" Matthew said, his words muffled by Alfred's shirt. After Alfred put his brother down, Feli and him fist bumped. Alfred was strange.

"By the way, i'm calling dibs on the space next to Arthur!" Alfred said, pursing his lips.

"Ah, great!" I said sarcastically, clapping my hands together. Liz started to quietly laugh.

"So, what movie are we watching?" Matthew said quietly, cocking his head to the side. Matthew was rather quiet, much to the opposite of his older brother.

"Um," I murmured, my train of thought randomly leaving me, "We're watching the uh..."

"Dude, you really forgot?" Alfred laughed, "Nightmare on Elm Street, Mattie we've seen it tons of times." Matthew let out a small moan.

"That again?" Matthew murmured looking at Alfred, "You sure do love that movie."

"Yup!" Alfred chirped. Soon I got up to make popcorn, and we all settled down on the couch. Alfred sat next to me, like he had said previously, and he smiled sweetly once doing so. "This is gonna be fun," Alfred said. I nodded, my own smile spreading across my face.

"Now we're going to have to keep it down, don't want Francis coming in," I said, everyone else starting to sit. "Oh, Alfred go start the movie."

"It's your house!" Alfred said with an attitude, but got up and did it anyways. We then finally all sat down, relaxed, and the trailers started. Alfred nudged up against me and we half cuddled, I think Alfred enjoyed my presence as well, but it was friendly to him because he was as straight as a ruler. He was one of those bendable rulers though, he acts gay but he is deep down straight.

"Movie time!" Liz said loudly, clapping her hands together. I forcefully shushed her as she whispered; "Sorry, sorry!"

Just as things went completely silent accept for the TV, the door creaked open once again. I sighed, taking the remote and pausing the TV.

I heard Feli giggle, "Ops, forgot I invited Agnus."

Fuck.

Just when things were going great and I finally got over that night, nope! Nope, here is that stupid bastard stepping into my home. He took off his boots as Liz and Al both said 'yo!'

"Al?" I looked up at Alfred, possibly hoping for some amount of anger in his eyes, enough to kick Angus out. But nothing.

"Eh, don't worry, Angus and I got over it," Alfred said back with a small smile, "For now at least." But no, it's not about you, Alfred. This is about me, this is about me kissing him, this is about him trying to drug me, this is about him loving me. I felt uneasiness sweep me over, even though I reassured myself I had Alfred right next to me. He wouldn't let Angus hurt me, he wouldn't let him kiss me. I was fine. I felt myself uncontrollably lean into Alfred's body as Angus walked over to the couch.

I stifled a whimper as Angus pushed Liz to the side slightly and sat down next to me.

And I felt myself gag as Angus wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me away from Alfred's body and into his, kissing me on the temple.

Oh no.

My heart race quickened as he brought my head to his chest. I eyed Alfred, who I thought would be my saviour, but instead he looked at me with an evil smirk.

"Ohoho, I see what's going on here!" Alfred laughed. I grimaced slightly, just a little to show an amount of disgust on my face. No, he's not supposed to make jokes and be happy about this. He's supposed to protect me.

Liz also started to laugh, "The two British boys, aw!"

"Scottish!" Angus hissed, turning his head to Liz. I felt my heart drop. No hope, i'm not getting out of this. I could run out, but I don't know. I'll willingly hurt Angus's feelings but, somethings holding me back.

When I meant 'I want a boyfriend' I did not mean this. And shouldn't Alfred have knocked Agnus on the ground right now? Shouldnt he protect me, and not be laughing?

"Why did you not answer my texts?" Angus whispered into my ear, my body cringing to his voice.

"Uh," I murmured, "You, texted me?" I truly did not have any record of him texting me.

"Yeah, I thought maybe you'd have a little decency to text back your boyfriend."

Boyfriend. Jesus, it's happening! No, no, no! When did I comply to this? Maybe, maybe it was during the 'time I don't remember'. What even happened between then? It's strange I don't remember, extremely strange. I swallowed, feeling uneasy as I felt his muscles move against my head. I held in a sharp breath before releasing.

Arthur, Arthur its okay. You're alright. Agnus won't do anything bad to you, or anything to hurt you, my friends are here. Just don't lose sight of Alfred, and you'll be fine.

My heart raced and I felt uber comfortable, no matter how many times I told myself that I was fine.

The night couldn't have been longer. I just wanted things to be over with. The sick feeling in my stomach refused to go away, despite Alfred or Jace's presence. I knew he wouldn't hurt me, but this felt so weird. So unnatural, I feel like he wasn't even trying to 'cuddle' with me, it didn't feel like he meant it. He just pulled me forcefully into his chest...

God, i'm so torn.

That night, everybody left. Agnus kissed me goodbye, and I kissed back, no matter how disgusted I was. Why am I not slapping him across the face? Why am I so afraid to hurt his feelings?

I probably cried for hours that night. I don't know why i've been acting so childish but...

I really just want someone to hold me.

But that, that isn't happening.

/**/

A week later, I found myself laid over the couch. I've forced myself to text Angus back, not talking to him unless spoken too. I don't answer his calls though, I have once, but the 'I love you' at the end of his call almost made me throw up. I hate the feeling of numbness, I've had it for the whole week. I don't know why i've felt so strongly like this, I mean, is this what heart-hurt feels like? Because it sucks. I don't feel like doing anything.

And what makes it worse, Alfred's been gone for two days. I'm not sure where he's at, and there hasn't been any parties as far as I know. I'm worried about him, but i'm more worried about myself. I really want him to comfort me. I don't think he's been murdered or anything, Al has a lot of money at this point and has a pretty good power-hold.

I sighed, pushing my head into the pillow underneath it, my left arm hanging over the side of the couch.

"Boo!" a sudden push to my back was followed as I sprung up with a small scream. Staring back at me was a giddy, smiling Alfred. His smile was wide, making his sky blue eyes squint. I grimaced as he giggled quietly. "Hey, dude!"

"Where the hell have you been?" I hissed, narrowing my eyes at him before sitting up.

"Someones grumpy," Alfred murmured, sitting down next to me. No duh, Alfred. I sighed as Alfred patted my back roughly. "Well, I got good news!"

"Answer my question first," I said quietly, but my anger resurfaced in an attitude.

"Wait, lord, you're grumpy," Alfred said with a small laugh. "Okay, well, get this, I was at the coffee shop, and I saw this girl there. She was brunette and she had these green eyes," Alfred took a pause, "But they're a darker color than yours."

"I don't need details, cut to the chase."

"Okay, okay! Jeez, well, I was like, damn she's hot! So we started to talk, and," Alfred had a stupid smile on as his voice lingered on the word 'and'. I stared at him until he spoke again. "Now I have a girlfriend! Bam, no longer single!"

And my heart shattered into a million peices.

I stared at him for a little while as he continued to talk about this girl. "Uh, her names Jen, well, her names Jennifer but she prefers to be called Jen. And she likes that uh, Japanese shit, I think its called anime. Yeah, she really likes all that nintendo stuff! We're totally made for eachother!"

I just got up and left. I didn't say anything to him, I didn't want to make excuses for leaving. Maybe, maybe i'm just overreacting. I knew this was coming, Alfred's straight, he would never love me. I'm just his friend, i'm just his boss, i'm just the one who saved his life. Just like Angus said I was. I started to cry, my reassuring thoughts turning to negative as I walked into my room. It was quiet, no sobs escaped my lips. God, why, why am I doing this to myself? I'm normally calm and tangible but now, now i'm being torn apart. That isn't the tangible solution, Alfred hating me. I'm just jumping to conclusions now, but its like he doesn't even care! Angus and now this!

I didn't even think I loved him that much but, I guess i've proved myself wrong with this.

I can't beileve this is happening to me, how, how did I do this? Damn Alfred, this is all his fault. I should just get him fired, thats what I should do. But, thats childish, and I couldn't do that to him. I love him, crush wise or not. This isnt a crush anyway, I really love him. I know I do, it cant be anything else but that.

But I can't stop him. I can't, i'm dating someone everyone thinks I love, and it should be this way. I knew it was happening but, it hurts so bad that it is.

/**/

Its been two days since Alfred gave me the news. Since my sadness faded, I have come up with the fact that Alfred is still my friend. He likes me just as much as he did before, and he wouldn't replace me. I'm better than a girlfriend, i'm like his brother, I think. So, i'm closer to him than any woman will ever be! He questioned me if I were okay, and I told him I was, but i'm still grumpy from the whole Angus thing. And i'm still sad about him dating, but i'm getting over it.

The next two days passed, Alfred invited me to coffee with him and his girlfriend. I thought about it, and I was thinking of passing, but its time to be an adult! Maybe this girl isnt to bad, and if she's cool like Alfred says, then i'm sure we'll get along! Once we become friends, everything will be dandy! So, thats my plan. It will hopefully work. So, coffee today, i'm excited.

We arrived at the coffee shop at two o'clock. Jace only works mornings, so sadly he's not here. Al and I ordered, and I very kindly paid for his coffee.

The bell on the front door rang as Alfred and I sat down at a table for four. Our attentions turned to the door, a woman, a little taller then me stepped inside. I almost immediately knew that had to be his girlfriend, the pikachu sweater gave it away.

"Jennifer!" Alfred shouted, a large smile spreading across his face. I felt a small pang in my chest. He's never that happy to see me... Well, this is Alfred's first girlfriend, it's normal to act like that, right?

He scooped her up in his arms, and the two of them laughed as Alfred started to spin his girlfriend. I awkwardly watched them, my head lingering just above the table. I didn't want to watch this, but yet I had to. It made me feel sick, but, be an adult, Arthur! You're seventeen! But, the way her small skinny fingers stroked his cheeks and their noses and foreheads pressed together just... Just sickened me.

Alfred let her drop to the floor, her boots making a quiet click. They both walked over to the table I sat at, and I raised my head and tried to act like I wasn't a gay man crushing on Alfred.

"Jen, I would like you to meet my best friend and co-worker mister Arthur Kirkland!" Alfred chirped once they sat down, Alfred now sitting across from me and next to his girlfriend, instead of being next to me. "Not that you don't know him already."

Jen laughed, reaching her hand across the table and I shook it, "Thats so cool that you work with Alfred."

I nodded with a small forced smile. Thats what a lot of people think is cool. Ugh, just try to act friendly, Arthur. Not like a anti-social freak.

"Its really cool to meet you," Jen said with a small giggle.

"Well, you're not famous but its a pleasure to meet you." I said, smiling. Jen giggled. Okay, next step, socialise. "Well, Al here told me you like anime?"

Jen gasped. She's one over-dramatic girl, "I love, love, love anime!" Jen clapped her hands together as Alfred started to snicker, "Why, do you?"

"Well, I have a co-worker who's into it."

Jen smiled, really wide, her dimples clearly displayed, "Well! I watch Black butler, Attack on Titan, free..." Jen trailed off, "Do you know any of those?"

I shook my head no. "Well I also watch Doctor Who and Supernatural!"

Before I was able to speak up about Doctor Who, since i'm a very big fan, Alfred beat me to it, "You like Supernatural? I love Supernatural!"

"Oh my god, really?"

"Yeah! This is so cool!"

I frowned as the two turned toward each other and locked in conversation. I didn't feel as if the frown was rude, they weren't watching me at all. This girl was extremely irritating.

She was much too bouncy, much too excited, much too over dramatic. Alfred was vivacious as well, but he had a calmness that leveled it out. They continued to talk about this show, and it made me feel insanely useless. Alfred didn't even care I was left out, he didn't even try to count me in the conversation. Talk about caring. He totally ignored the fact that I was there.

That girl, that damned girl...

"Hey, um, Al?" I spoke up, rather quietly, but it was enough to get his attention. He looked up at me, his eyes expanding slightly.

"Yeah?"

"I think i'm gonna go home, Francis might want me back ho-."

"Wait, no!" Alfred howled like a whiney child, "Don't go!"

"I'm sorry, I'm getting rather tired," I murmured, rubbing the back of my head. Jen stared at Alfred and I, as if she was waiting for something. I felt my teeth clench together in aggravation before I got out of my seat.

"But don't you need me to walk home with you? Won't Francis get mad?"

"I've been tons of places without you." The comment sounded ruder than I intended, but i was happy with how it sounded.

"Oh," Alfred furrowed his brow, "Well, bye Arthur."

"Bye," and I walked out.

Guess what? Alfred was gone for another two days. I sat in my bedroom and moped. When he got back, he told me how much fun he had with stupid fucking Jen. They went to an aquarium together, without me. And see, the worse part about it was that Al blamed me for not going. That if I hadn't left we all would have went. He could have called me! This house is literally a five minute walk! I don't understand! I have been replaced by this stupid girl... How dare he, how dare he not even care in the slightest bit! He's been disappearing almost every day doing who-knows-what with this stupid girl! No Arthur time anymore, it's all about stupid goddamn Jen! Her damned squeaky voice and hand motions, what so good about her? I'm so much better than she is, i'm a gentleman and i'm caring and try to be nice to anyone, but she's a jobless loser! He deserves better, he deserves me! Not her, i'm, i'm the good one! Alfred doesn't even realise it, he has no idea that she's tearing me apart. Even if he did, would he care? I thought Alfred was a nice young lad, but...

Well i'm not really sure what to think anymore.

But. I have a plan. Something that just might work. Going back to the Agnus thing, maybe, maybe I can make him jealous. Do the same thing he's been doing to me.

That, that just might work.

/**/

"Hey Artie!"

My eyes lazily opened to the sound of my door being slammed open.

"Dude!" Suddenly, big, warm hands were pressed down on my hip. I shrieked, springing upward in bed.

"Alfred, what the hell?"

Alfred stared at me, just as he did a week and a half ago when he told me the horrid news of getting a girlfriend. He laughed. "Dude, get up, get up!"

"Calm down, what's going on?" I muttered now sleepily, "This better be important, git." My language has changed toward Alfred these last few days. I've been much more harsh with him when I get the chance to talk to him, i've been in a really bad mood lately, so i've been angry at everyone, but mostly him.

"The desolation of Smaug came out today!" Alfred chirped, "Lets go see it, Artie!"

"The what came out today?" I grumbled, wiping my eyes. Alfred huffed.

"The second hobbit movie!"

"Oh," I said quietly.

"Lets go see it!" Alfred repeated, "You and me! Go to movie theater!"

I lit up with excitement. Alfred time, I haven't had Alfred time in a while Three weeks to be exact. I nodded quickly as I hopped out of bed to get dressed. I didn't bother changing my boxers, Alfred was obviously in a hurry, the movie he's talking about probably is starting soon. I threw on some sweatpants, and as I pushed my t-shirt over my head, I heard Alfred mutter something that killed all my hopes in him.

"Jen, you and me are going to have so much fun!"

I stopped. Taking off my shirt, I squinted. "Eh, pardon?"

"Jen, you and me are going to have so much fun," Alfred repeated, but slower and in a joking fashion.

I dropped my shirt to the floor with a heavy sigh. "Hey, uh, nevermind."

Alfred hummed, furrowing his eyebrows and cocking his head to the side.

"I'm not going, i'll just make you guys late."

"But, Arthur!" Alfred's eyes dropped like a sad puppy. A sad puppy whose only concern was for himself.

"No, no, its fine," I grumbled, grabbing Alfred by the shoulders and beginning to push him out of my room. As Alfred now stood a little outside my doorway, I glare at him slightly. "Go have fun with your girlfriend."

And with that I slammed the door in his face.

I wasn't even angry anymore. I didn't know what to do. I listened to him yell, "Well, okay! Bye!" With a confusion to his voice, followed by the heavy footsteps of him leaving. My lips turned upwards and quivered, tears threatening to pour out of my eyes as my whole body shook.

Fuck her. Fuck him. I deserve Alfred. I want him, not Angus.

A few moments later I looked outside my window, peeking through the curtains so that nobody on the outside could see me. I watched Jen's car pull out as Alfred quickly ran into view, picking her up and kissing her on the lips.

And I cried.

* * *

**Authors Note_**

Aw poor Artie

awwwww he's a heart broken lil shit Poor babbu

I was totaly going to make Jen a weaboo but I didn't want her to seem to annoying. Making her yell 'kawaii' is just tipping the scale.

Arthur's supposed to be somewhat annoying in this chapter. Only a little though, because depending on your point of view the guys irritation is coming from a good stand point. I know what it feels like to Xl

TO POKEMON AWAY! Its time to train Arthur and Alfred's love child teeeehheee~

Yeah I made them breed.

Their child's name is peter *shot


	7. Chapter 7

These last few days have been really rough. I've completely avoided Alfred, and he tries to involve me with things, but she's always there. Can't he pick up on that I just want to spend time with him, and just him? She's always over the house now, but they normally just stay in Alfred's room. It scares me, I sometime let my mind wander. Maybe they're having sex or something. Alfred's room is almost completely sound proof for job-related reasons, so you wouldn't even know. It bothers me. Them touching in there, naked. It just, god its so gross. Not to offend anyone who is straight, I just found boy on girl pretty gross. Sorry! I'm not saying that it is, but just, man... My Alfred's in there, you know? Or, he was my Alfred. I wish he still were my Alfred.

So here I walk, walk down to the coffee shop to talk to Jace. He acts a lot like Alfred, he can get my mind off things. He's sweet and caring, just like Alfred, until that bitch took over his life! God, I really have to stop thinking about him, it will help my stress. Maybe I should just fire Alfred and get it over with.

"Hey, Artie," I heard the familiar voice say behind the counter. I smiled, striding over to the counter. I didn't see Jace, but I recognized his voice. I haven't seen him in a while, its nice to hear him, despite the terrible smell of coffee-beans behind the counter.

"Hey Jace," I said, leaning over the counter. I finally located him, his body leaning over making a coffee or something. He straightened out his back, and walked over to me.

"Al texted me that you've been in a bad mood so I made ya some tea," Jace said with a smile, "On the house."

"Well, uhm, thanks," I muttered. Alfred texted him that I was angry? God, how he pisses me off...

"Well, how did you know I was coming?"

"Saw ya walking down the street," Jace said. I took my tea and Jace slid over the counter separating us.

"Smooth," I teased. Jace stuck out his tongue.

"There hasnt been any customers in a while, lets talk or something," Jace said, patting my shoulder, "Havent talked to you in a while I want to catch up."

I nodded and we walked over to one of the black, leather couches in a corner of the coffee shop. This was a cozy place to eat, I liked it. After Jace sat down I rested my head on his lap.

"So, Artie," Jace said, patting my head, "What's been bugging you?"

"Hm?" I looked up at him, furrowing my brow.

"Was Al telling the truth or was he over-exaggerating?" Jace laughed. Oh, that. I almost completely forgot within those minutes.

"Ah, he was telling the truth," I bit my lip, "What did he send you?" I thought maybe he was talking bad about me. Better not be, he's the bad one in this.

"Ah, wait a second," Jace muttered. He moved himself to push his phone out of his pocket. I guess it couldn't be to bad, Jace was showing me with no problem. He turned on his phone, played with it a little, and then gave it to me. "Here ya go. Nothing too bad."

I made sure his phone was on the right contact, as it said 'Alfred Jones' at the top. I leafed through the texts, sliding my finger to view the ones further.

"The conversation starts here," Jace said, pointing the first 'hey' Alfred sent.

Alfred Jones,1:45 PM: Hey bro

Jace Leontine, 1:46 PM: Hey Al, s'up

Alfred Jones, 1:50 PM: Nothing much, Jen and I just got back from the water park. She went home a few hours ago.

Jace Leontine, 1:53 PM: Hey, how about you Artie and I go somewhere? The two buff guys and the 10-pounder

I laughed, I knew Jace was making fun of me, but it was in a funny sense.

Alfred Jones, 1:59 PM: I don't know, man, Arthurs been really pissed lately.

Jace Leontie, 1:59 PM: How so?

Alfred Jones, 200 PM: He's just been mad at like, everyone. Made my nose bleed by slamming the door lol

I growled, "I did not make his nose bleed! I only slammed the door in his face once and he was fine after!" I groaned, covering my eyes.

"He tends to be over dramatic," Jace murmured, "but he normally doesn't mean anything."

"But, its not that," Jace took the phone from me, turning it off and putting the phone next to us. I sighed.

"Well its not going to get any better if you don't tell me," Jace said quietly. I nodded, and sat up.

"Well, you know his girlfriend, right?" I said, looking at Jace. Jace nodded."It's all he ever talks about. Like, he doesn't have time for me anymore. And when I go out with him, he always brings her and I end up getting ignored."

Jace nodded, "Tough, man."

"But its like, he doesn't even care! He's totally ignoring my feelings! I get that its his first love and all, but I mean, I'm supposed to be his best friend!" I groaned, putting my head in my hands, "Its just frustrating. Like i've been replaced."

"Just, give it some time," Jace said, "I know, you're probably thinking; 'well you're crazy', but this girl won't last long." I nodded, but sighed. God, should I really tell him? I feel like I should, Jace seems trustworthy, no matter what Angus says. Even if he does end up backstabbing me, what's the worst he could do? Tell Al? That would probably destroy our friendship, but our friendship is moving closer to non-existence. And Jace is out of school, so he won't be telling anyone important.

"Well, uh, Jace?" I looked to him, and he turned to look at me.

"Yeah?" Jace looked at me, cocking his head slightly, but just enough that his tight curls bounced.

"Well, you know that i'm gay, right?"

Jace laugh, "Course, almost everybody knows."

"Well, what would you think if," I paused, avoiding Jace's eye-contact, "What would you think if I said that I have a crush on Alfred?"

Jace's eyes widened, and my heart sank. Fuck, he's going to think i'm weird. My only good friendship right out the window.

"Oh, god, Arthur," Jace muttered, "Oh god, wow, I couldn't have imagined." I sighed, my eyes dropping. Jeez, Arthur, you really have to learn if someone is homophobic or not.

"I know, it's stupid," I sighed, "But I really like him."

"Wow man, that must be really tough," Jace said, looking at me and nodding. A small relief washed over me. "Sucks for you that he's straight."

"So, clearly, him having a girlfriend affects me a lot," I murmured, "I know he wouldn't date me, but still, it hurts that he's completely ignoring me."

"That must be tough," Jace sighed, but then airily laughed. "Dude, that really, really sucks."

I smiled, "I know."

"Maybe you can tell Al how you feel," I looked at him weirdly, and then Jace shook his head with a smile, "not the crushing thing, but that you feel ignored. He'll probably feel bad and start paying attention to you, Al isn't much of an arguer."

"Okay," I nodded. That was simple, and it would work most likely. Just, how would I approach him with that? I'd probably do it in the morning, or at a party, when Jen isn't there."Ah, a few more things."

"I'm listening!" Jace said with a smile. God, he's great.

"Well, you know how Angus and I are dating?"

"Oh yeah," Jace started to laugh, "Its just so weird, you guys aren't like each other at all."

"Thats the thing, I don't love him."

Ah, that felt great to say.

Jace started to laugh, and to tell you the truth, I did too. "Well, how the hell did that happen?"

"Well, okay, so Angus shows up in the middle of the night. And he's like, 'aw, you care for a smoke'?" I made fun of Angus's voice by making mine go drastically deeper, "And I said 'ew, no'. But he handed me one anyways, but it had some like weird shitin it or something so I didn't smoke it."

"So he tried to drug you?"

"Yeah, and anyways we got in a big fight, and then he just randomly kissed me. I forget what happened after that, which is quite strange."

Jace and I both started to laugh. Now that I really look back at it, that was wicked funny. Okay, maybe it wasn't, but when you tell the story to someone else it does.

"So, wait, you don't like him?"

"Not one bit! He's a jerk!" I chirped, crossing my arms.

"Okay, well thats easy to fix, i'll tell him to back off," Jace said with a smile. I felt some relief come into my body.

"Really?" I said with a sigh, "Jace, your so ace."

"Why thank you," Jace said with a soft smile, "I'm guessing ace is some British term for awesome?"

"Exactly!" I chirped, snapping my fingers.

God, Jace is great. He's like Alfred but, I feel more comfortable around him. Which is weird, because i've known Jace for a half of a month an Alfred for two months. But right now, all I know is i'm angry at Alfred, and Jace is going to be there for me. Mn, he's a great friend.

I kinda wish I had feelings for him instead of Alfred. jace is nice, strong, and makes a killer cup of tea. And he's a good listener. Everything I need in a guy.

But, I don't have feelings for him. Which sucks. There is something different about Alfred that I just find attractive, that Jace doesn't have. What that is, I have no clue. Maybe I find Alfred consciously more handsome? Maybe his musical talent.

"Hey, Artie, maybe we can go to a party or something, just you and me," Jace said after a few moments, smiling, "Maybe that'll relieve some stress."

"That sounds good," I said, "I can tell Alfred to, since Jen doesn't go to parties, I think."

"Sounds like a plan!" Jace chirped, clapping his hands together, "We don't even have to walk, unlike Al, I have a drivers license!"

"Great, its getting cold too," I smiled. Ah, this'll be fun. Just Jace and I, and i'll get over Alfred and have enough courage to fix our friendship.

"Okay, so the craziest thing happened to me last weekend," Jace started to say, I listened intently. Until of course, a customer came in and Jace had to take their order and make their coffee.

I walked home that day with a little pep in my step. I felt much better than before, even though I was still planning on avoiding Alfred until the party. Then, at the party, Alfred and I could have fun. Jace will solve the Angus problem, even though I hate relying on others like that, this is just a friendly favour. God, i'm so thankful for Jace listening to me, he rocks. I feel relieved and at peace, not totally ace, but okay.

/**/

The loud horn beeped outside.

I felt myself get excited as I clipped my choker around my neck, and rushed to the door.

"Bye Francis!" I called, getting the muffled 'Au revoir!' in return. I pushed on my jacket and the car beeped again.

I stumbled outside, trying to zipper my jacket while I ran for Jace's bright purple car. I smiled, that is the most girliest car i've ever seen. I clumsily jumped off the curb and ran to the side of the car, getting into the passenger seat.

"Real smooth," Jace said with a smile, not looking at me.

"Nice car," I said mockingly in a monotone.

/**/

"Party bus has arrived!" Jace shouted upon arriving. Everyone shouted 'yo' or 'hey' at us before we both took our seats at the oh-so-familiar couch.

"Beer?" Liz asked, passing me the cold brown bottle.

"Yes ma'ma," I said, taking it from her and popping it open. I've gained some beer-opening skills from my last two parties. The beer sizzled and I quickly took a few sips.

"We're all here?" Feliciano said, scanning the room and putting his feet on the coffee table.

"Well, Al isnt here," I said quietly, Jace nudging me in the shoulder.

"Oh, he's not coming," Matthew said, "He texted me he's hanging out with his girlfriend." The word 'girlfriend' came off his lips in a tease, as him and Feli turned to each other and started to make fun of him.

"Oh Jennifer, I love you!" Matthew said, deepening his voice drastically for effect. He took Feli's head in his hands and held their faces together, their cheeks pushing against eachother.

"Oh Alfred, I love you too!" Feli said, putting a hand to his head and batting his eyelashes, "Will you be my anime-desu boyfriend, ne?"

We all started to laugh, me especially, since I was the one who was the most angry about it. It felt nice to know their were others who were agitated by Alfred's 'new found love'.

"He might join us later tonight," Matthew said quietly, "You know him, party animal."

Jace and I laughed, but I was disappointed he blew off a party for his girlfriend. He's not just ditching me, he's ditching all of his friends for her.

Thats when I saw Angus approach the couch. "I'm back," Angus said, six more bottles of beer balanced around his arms. He dropped them in the cooler. Jace looked at me, we both nodded, and he pat me on the shoulder before getting up. I pretended to not know what he was doing, feeling a little embarrassed, but I couldn't help but watch them as I pursued a conversation with Liz. Jace wrapped one arm around Angus's back, turning him around and the two walked out of sight.

I continued to talk to Liz as I sipped on my beer and Liz drank her fruity, bright pink drink of some sort.

"Where do you get those?" I asked, pointing to her drink.

"The bar, duh, they've got soda and stuff," Liz said, pointing in the direction of where i'm guessing the bar was. I nodded, considering going over there to get a cola or something. Then, Angus and Jace came back. Angus or Jace did not seem heated or stressed, so i'm guessing things went well. Angus took a seat next to Feli on the other side of the couch from me, and Jace sat down right next to me. He gave me the thumbs up upon sitting down. I smiled and gave him a pat on the shoulder.

"Good boy," I said with a laugh.

"Woof," Jace smiled, looking at me with a childish glance. I flicked his shoulder and Jace giggled. We continued to talk. Talking about random things, the new Hunger Games movie coming out, news, stuff like that. I've been trying to keep my mind off Alfred, so I was careful not to drag any subject relating to him into our conversation.

As the night progressed, Feliciano brought the party bush. I avoided it completely and went to the bar Liz had been talking about. Wasnt to hard to find, and I had seen it before. I leafed out a few dollars and got a glass of rootbeer. I just sipped on it quietly, the bar really wasn't busy. I wonder who's house this is. I know its somebody's home, whoever it is they must have a decent amount of money. I wish I could turn my house into something like this. Speaking of my house, I get to see my dad in two weeks. I'm rather excited to see him, I haven't seen him in at least two years. Francis is excited too, but whenever I ask him about it he always seems sad. It's a weird thing, its like he's holding something back. But this is Francis we're talking about.

I felt someone tap my shoulder, scaring me. I jumped, and quickly looked over the shoulder that had been tapped. No one was close enough to had done that, and I looked around confused. Someone must have brushes against me. I looked over the other shoulder and saw Angus sitting down next on the floor to a couch with a high Feliciano, but they weren't even looking at me or acknowledging my presence. It smells so strongly of smoke, yuck. I turned back around, letting my eyes drop and I let out a small yawn.

"Hey Arthur!" It was Jace.

"Yeah?" I saw his figure appear in the doorway, he waved a hand to me.

"Ya look awful lonely, i'll join you in a sec!" I smiled. Jace rocks. He disappeared into the room he had come from. I turned back to my root beer, picking up the cold glass in my hands and taking a few more sips. It tasted weird, probably because it had been a while and the fuzziness had probably left it.

I waited for Jace to come, but he never did. My vision started to get fuzzy, and I was getting frustrated with it. Maybe i'm tired, this is the same feeling you get when you're tired.I sighed, rubbing my eyes. I was starting to get the party-bush feeling but more faint, the fumes must be going to my head. But this feeling had some kick to it, like it was directly attacking my head. My eyes felt heavy, and I was getting really, really irritated. I let out a small, angered moan, pushing my heads through my hair. My head met the counter and I closed my eyes, sighing.

The last thing I felt before blacking out were arms being wrapped around my shoulders.

/**/

The first thing I remember was my throbbing headache. I let out a moan, forcing my eyes open. Did I fall asleep? God, this must be a hangover, right? How much did I drink, damn... I opened my eyes, it was dark, but even the darkness burned my eyes. I blinked for a few moments, trying to swallow down the dryness in my throat. It was cold to, oh, I have no shirt on. What happened? Jesus christ... I must've partied pretty hard...

Wait, no, thats not right. I only had one beer.

My vision gradually is clearing up. Appears i'm in a bathroom. I sit up, the cold from the tiles is too much for my shirtless body. I'm too disoriented to feel threatened, i'm just pretty confused right now.

I look to my side. Ah, there is my shirt. Its time to leave, I have no clue whats going on. This is nothing good, even though I have no clue whats going on, I have enough human instincts to know I should go. I swallowed, numbly reaching out for my shirt. A glass of water would be nice when I get home, i'm parched. Wonder what time it is. I fumbled around for my shirt and picked it up, shaking it a few times to maybe get some dirt or something out.

I sighed, closing my eyes for a few moments of rest before I go. But they shot open when I heard the door rattle and open.

My heart dropped.

Should've known.

I felt my eyes widen upon meeting Angus's at the door. Maybe this was just a coincidence, I mean, Jace did scare him off, right? I swallowed before quickly pushing my shirt over my head, avoiding his gaze.

Then I heard the door lock.

"I thought you would be passed out longer," Angus murmured, brushing a piece of red hair back from his forehead.

"Barmy," I hissed between gritted teeth, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I slowly lifted myself up, feeling my neck twitch with fear. I let out a shallow breath as I tried to keep my composure. Making myself seem weak was only going to make it worse.

"You told Jace," Angus said in almost a sing-song fashion, "You told him I tried to drug you."

"Yeah, was I not supposed to?" I hissed.

"Did you forget our little conversation, Arthur?" Angus and I were slowly approaching each other, as if we were going to pounce on each other like wild cats. I just want to go home at this point, get out of my way, Angus!

"What conversation? You're talking completely bollocks!"

"Someone's forgetful," Angus smirked.

"I have no idea what the hell you're thinking on doing, but its not going to happen one way or another, I can get you arrested," I said, smiling back. I wanted to pounce on him, but that would destroy my train of thought. This is a situation where I need to stay alert.

"I don't mind," Angus smiled, "I just need to show you not to double cross me."

I swallowed, allowing myself to stumble backwards. Shit, this is bad. I have to get out. I can't show weakness, mustn't show weakness.

"Anyways, I took your shirt off for a reason," Angus said with a smile, walking closer to me. I'm backing up, shit, why am I backing up? Goddamnit, Arthur, no weakness!

The cold wall pressed up against my back. Damnit, I just want to call for help, but I can't. I can handle myself. Maybe if I place a kick correctly I can run for it. Maybe I can trick him, i'm smart. Angus pressed a hand to my shoulder, holding my body slightly in place while he took off my shirt again. I shivered upon watching my shirt being thrown to the floor. This sucks. Angus knows I won't run, he knows i'm too smart for that. I'm not like Alfred who charges right in, I think of a plan, I try to keep my head on straight. Angus knows this and is playing this against me, doing everything I can't turn around with mind games. People like Al and Jace are his weakness, people like me are his eye candy.

Before I was able to think, Angus grabbed me tightly by the shoulders and shoved my body to the ground. I wasn't expecting this, and the motion was anything but smooth since Angus isn't much stronger than I am. I would have normally been able to withstand something like this, but I wasn't prepared for something like that. I let out a few powerful coughs, the air being completely knocked out of my lungs. As I coughed, Angus climbed ontop of me.

"I hope you were planning on losing your virginity soon, Arthur."

Fuck.

Wait, no, he's not doing this to me. I'm getting out, I am not getting raped tonight. Even if I do end up naked and on the floor, like I said before, Angus isn't much stronger than me. I must be on high alert, and as long as my mind is a step in front of his, i'll be fine. I will not open my legs for him.

Angus then kissed me. Quite powerfully too. I slammed my mouth closed in recoil, yuck, gross. His lips were chapped and cold, making my body tingle once they rubbed against mine. Nope, i'm not giving into this. Just focus on fighting back and I'll be fine. His tongue tried to gain entryway into my mouth, but no way I'm letting that happen, he's not getting any further with that.

"You're awfully stubborn," Angus muttered, separating away from my lips. I smiled.

"I'm sorry, dear, I don't think thats called being stubborn," I said with a small smile.

"I guess i'll cut right to the chase then," Angus said with a sigh.

"What if, I scream, and Alfred and Jace come in here and kill you?" I said, almost cheerfully.

"They won't hear you," Angus said with a laugh, "Alfred's too busy with his girlfriend and Jace went home."

But, Jace was supposed to drive me home... Alfred, Alfred came with his girlfriend? No, no! Jace and I were supposed to have fun tonight and I was supposed to spend some time with Alfred, goddamnit, no!

"You look rather upset, sorry to break it to ya," Angus said, total apathy in his voice. I growled, but silenced as I felt the skinny fingers start to play with the button on my pants. Oh no, he's taking off my pants-!

But wait, he's distracted.

As I found my chance of escape, I quickly clenched my fist together and brought forward the most powerful punch I possibly could have handled. It would have been better, but being held on the floor like this wasn't a very good punching position, either. Angus let out a shocked whimper, recoiling quickly in shock. Here we go! I got up as fast as I could, pushing on the floor and relying on my knees to lift my body most of the way up. I quickly kicked him in the stomach, since Angus was still pretty stunned from the sudden punch, just like I was when he pushed me to the floor. A relieved urgency spread through my body. The hard part was over. I quickly unlocked the door and bolted, fighting the urge to say some sarcastic comment at the red-head withering in pain. I was aware of a small pride for packing that much power in a kick, but continued to sprint down the hallway. Shit, forgot my shirt, no matter. If Alfred's really here I can get him to walk home with me, there is no way i'm going home alone, then i'm really defenseless. I'm physically exhausted now, and it would be much harder to overpower Angus, especially now because he's most likely pissed. Once i'm out where everybody else is, i'm safe.

Once finally seeing Alfred and Liz on the couch, I felt a warmth spill over me. Jen was no where in sight. Angus must have lied, can't beileve I trusted him. I almost laughed, god, i'm glad thats over. Liz was smiling but wasnt talking, nor was Alfred, but he didn't seem drunk.

I slowed my pace, walking over to the two on the couch, panting.

Then fucking Jen walked over and sat on Alfred's lap.

With my luck these last few weeks I really should've expected that. But, I felt my heart break as they started making out, Liz just chuckled and continued to drink. They hadn't seen me. I just got raped and that bitch is there. My lips turned and my shoulder slouched as I watched them.

They both separated from their kiss, Jen breathing heavily, and her skinny hand slid up to Alfred's cheek. "You're so handsome."

Alfred raised an eyebrow at her, doing one of those half smiles that i've never seen him do, a seductive smile, "And you're very sexy."

He should be saying that to me. Not her. I deserve Alfred. I just could have been murdered and here I am, envying that bitch.

Jen giggled and they continued to kiss, Liz rolling her eyes at the two of them. Then Jen started to rub his crotch and Alfred was smiling against her lips and slipped his hands up her shirt to feel her breasts, and right at that moment my heart shriveled up and burned into ash. That's literally what I felt like, I felt maybe as if I was having heart burn, watching them do sexual things together. Damnit, Angus could come up behind me and drag me back into the bathroom right now. Hell, I would let him.

"Okay, thats it, i'm out!" Liz laughed, putting her hands up and walking away. I would have laughed if my heart wasn't broken, Liz was a funny girl. I sighed and continued to walk away. Damnit, god fucking damnit. I really was jealous, now I realise that I just don't want him to love me I want Alfred to touch me, I want to touch him, damnit, why do I have to be in love with that idiot!

"Arthur!" Liz shouted, sprinting over to me upon seeing me. I half-smiled. I'm not telling her what Angus did, clearly telling anyone but the police is going to make things worse.  
"Hey Liz," I said quietly.

"Where the fuck have you been?" She laughed. I sighed.

"The bathroom," I murmured with a shrug.

"Hangover?" Liz elbowed me in the stomach, smiling like an idiot. I laughed quietly and nodded. Can't blame her for things she doesn't know. "You don't seem to well."

"Yeah, don't feel very good," I said with a sigh, "I think i'm going to go home."

"Aw," Liz said, pouting her lip, "Al and Jen are boring. They've been kissing for like two hours." Liz laughed, and I couldn't help but frown. Liz didn't notice though.

"Maybe, do you want to walk home with me?" I asked quietly, looking at her, "Just, I don't want to get jumped when I feel like this." I laughed, rubbing the back of my head. Liz nodded and smiled, pulling on my arm.

"Bye Al!" Liz shouted, hurting my ears. He didn't notice her, or pay any attention to her. Liz frowned. "Al's been being a real asshole."

I smiled and nodded. At least she isn't afraid to admit it. "He really has been."

/**/

"Yo, Artie!"

I laughed as the phone buzzed with Jace's voice.

"Yo, Jace!" I called back into the phone, mocking him.

"Sorry I left the party early," Jace laughed, the phone vibrating, "But dude, I got great news!"

"Arthur and Jace night?" I asked, pinning my cellphone between my shoulder and ear while I opened a drawer to put my guitar pick into it.

"Yipper Dipper!" Jace chirped, the phone rattling against my ear. The radiation from the phone was starting to hurt my ear.

"What are you thinking?" I said, plopping on my bed. I switched the phone to speaker so I didn't have to hold it to my ear any longer.

"Dude, fall festival at the dog park, duh!" Jace laughed, "The one in two days, ring a bell?" Jace coed, teasing me.I laughed.

"Yeah, I think I've heard about it. I'll have to check in with Francis, i'm going to see my dad in a few days and i'm not sure if its that day," I rubbed my head, "I wouldn't want to cancel plans, but I haven't seen my dad in ages."

"I totally understand!" Jace chirped, "But god, Feli and Liz are coming to! I'm excited!"

"Okay, its a plan," I paused, "hopefully."

We hung up moments later. I have been rather depressed this week, but, exciting events are coming up! I get to visit my dad soon, and the festival! Well, hopefully the festival, but Francis will most likely say yes to it as long as its not on the same day I get to visit dad. The whole Alfred thing? I've been trying not to get myself down with it, but i've basically stopped holding myself back. I have a crush on him, i'm sexually attracted to him, and I love him. When i'm in the shower, I sometimes imagine that those are his hands feeling my body up and not mine. I've gone that far. But, i've heard Alfred and Jen moaning in the bathroom together, so why can't I enjoy myself? Man, I should really just kick her out of my home.

Well, anyways, back on topic.

I'm excited for the festival. I hung up my phone and put it on my nightstand, and walked to my door to ask Francis. Upon opening my door, I found a small bouquet of flowers, wrapped in blue shiny paper.

Picking up the arrangement of red, blue, and light green flowers, I read the tag.

Hey man, I know you've been down lately, and I have no clue why but, hope ya feel better soon, Artie ;)

~ Alfred

God, he is such an idiot. I allowed myself to smile, a very faint smile, but a smile. At least he was trying somewhat, not as much as I wanted but, he was trying. Plus, my crush gave me flowers, c'mon. I sighed, still smiling as I carried the flowers back to my room.

"Such an idiot," I murmured before closing my door. I found a purple vace sitting in my room and put the flowers in, picking it up and exiting my room to get some water for the flowers.

I walked through the halls of my home, into the kitchen. After I get water for these i'll ask Francis, that would be a large waste of Alfred's money, plus the flowers are very nice. I'm not harsh enough to throw them out.

I filled the vase with water, taking the tag off and shoving it in my pants pocket.

"So, ya found my flowers?"

I jumped, surprised by the sudden voice. I looked over my shoulder, the smiling American staring back at me. "Do you like 'em?"

"Yeah, thanks," I said plainly, turning around to turn off the water. I tried to leave any trace of happiness in my voice, but I didn't want to make him feel to bad. This was the first actual communication we'd had in a while.

"Good!" Alfred chirped, putting an arm on my shoulder, "They reminded me of ya, thought they might cheer you up?" Alfred cocked his head to the side as if asking me if they made me feel any better.

"How?" I squinted, setting the flowers down on the counter, "I'm not a girl, you know."

"I know!" Alfred said nervously, putting a hand up, "Flowers are just the universal apology present, ya know?"

I nodded, picking up the flowers.

"Hey, you know that festival is on Thursday," Alfred said quietly, following me as I walked back to my room, "Uh, maybe you'd want to go with me?"

I turned to him. Is he actually asking me to go somewhere with him, just him? I squinted, "Just you and me?"

"Just you and me!" Alfred said, a wide smile across his face.

"No jen?" I asked, letting my voice loosen up.

"No Jen, just Arthur and Alfred time!" Alfred said, putting his hands on my shoulders. I smiled, shyly, I didn't want to seem to needy. God, yes! I missed going places with him so much! But wait, Jace, Liz and Feliciano invited me first, maybe we can all go together?

"But, Jace invited me already," I muttered, "Maybe we can all go."

"He didn't invite me?" Alfred said with a sigh, "Man, nobodies been talking to me lately." I almost screamed at him for that. Seriously, Alfred? Nobody's been talking to you? You're the one who's been ignoring everyone, damn he makes me so angry!

"Maybe you can just come with all of us," I muttered again, quieter and slurred by my anger.

"Well I guess if i'm going with everybody," Alfred trailed off, biting his lip, "i'll bring Jen then, I really wanted to spend time with just you, but screw it!" Alfred smiled, "Lets do it another day. Maybe we can go to the water park or something!"

"Yeah, sounds good," I said in a murmur, walking to my room. Damnit. Why can't he come with all of us and not her? Goddamnit, Alfred! What the fuck is wrong with him, its like his brain stopped working when he met Jen!

"Hey, where ya going?" Alfred cocked his head to the side, "Can we hang out or something, like watch a movie or?"

"Al, look, i'm really tired," I said in a sigh, talking to him was just going to make me frustrated. At first I was actually pretty happy, he was trying to reach out, but now he's just aggravating.

"Oh?" Alfred squinted, "You gonna take a nap or something?

"Yeah," I sighed, letting my shoulders slouch. I really wasn't going to take a nap, I would just wait a few moments and then go ask Francis. I knew I could snap at Alfred, and I didn't really want to.

"Maybe I could," Alfred sighed, pausing in his sentence. He rubbed his head awkwardly, "Sleep with you? Like we did that other night, that was real nice."

Oh, my, god. Did he just ask me to cuddle with him? Alfred's really confusing, but it feels amazing to know he felt the same warmth I felt the night I slept with him. He wants to spend time with me, as well, which is great. This might be either the last time or the renewal of Al coming over, so I won't chase him away.

"Uh, sure, I guess," I muttered, avoiding Alfred's eye contact. I wasn't even tired, I wanted to ask Francis but I have all day, right?

I opened the door to my room, Alfred slowly following me in. He almost looked like a scared animal in place he wasn't unsure about going into. It was true, Al hasn't been in my room in a while. I put the flowers on my desk, positioning them so they were in the stream of sunlight coming through my window.

"Thank you again for the flowers," I said quietly, looking over my shoulder to look at the American sitting on my bed, "They're very brill."

I'm sure Alfred had no idea what brill meant, but he continued to happily stare at me, "You're welcome! Least I could do, I mean, you haven't been very happy lately."

I nodded, tapping the brim of the vase that held my flowers, dragging my finger against the smooth surface. I walked over to the bed.

"Well?" I looked at him, squinting. Damnit, Alfred, I just want to cuddle with you already. I may not be happy with you, but i'm still in love with you.

"Oh, yeah," Alfred's cheeks turned a light shade of red as he laid down, "This isn't gay, right?"

I growled, "You're saying that as if being gay is a bad thing."

"No, no!" Alfred said nervously, "I don't mean it like that. Just, are you uncomfortable with this?"

"No," I said, shaking my head, "i actually, eh, kind of liked it too, last time we slept together."

Alfred smiled, "Great, now I feel less weird." I pulled on a half smile as I layed down on top of Alfred. God, this is awkward, especially since my crush on him has doubled in size since the last time I did this with him. I can feel our crotches press together, even between my sweatpants and Alfred's jeans.

I sighed, god, i'm a pervert. I just have to relax, this isn't weird at all. Okay, maybe a little, girls are usually the ones who cuddle with each other. Alfred doesn't seem to bothered though, so I should just relax. I really wish Alfred and I were dating. We clearly wouldn't do this often as friends, but as a couple I would be able to feel the comfort of his strong arms around me. I keep reminding myself to have be angry at him, but its really hard, especially in this position. Alfred's warmth is really relaxing. For some reason, I keep feeling as though dating Alfred is in reach. I know its stupid, and I know it won't happen because Alfred is straight, but it can't help but being a very small goal.

"Well, this is nice," Alfred murmured, wrapping his arms around my lower back. I felt his neck vibrate with his words, "It's quiet."

I hummed, nodding. I pressed my temple to his neck and closed my eyes. Man, this is really relaxing. It is a fact that cuddling gets rid of stress.

"If you don't mind me asking," Alfred said, patting my back gently, "why have you been upset?"

"I'm just going through hard puberty things," I muttered into his neck.

"Dude, you're seventeen." Alfred started to giggle.

"A seventeen-year-old who hasn't dated a single soul," I said with a sigh.

"Angus?" Alfred asked. God, Alfred, just shut up already, you talk too much, especially about that.

"Really Al? You really thought something like that would carry out?" I picked up my head to look him in the eyes. His eyes shyly looked away from mine as a nervous smile spread across his face.

"Yeah, actually, a little," Alfred muttered, "Sorry i'm not good at reading the atmosphere." Tell me about it.

"Its fine," I muttered, putting my head back onto his shoulder. I started to play with a necklace around his neck, it was actually very nice, it was shaped like a g-clef and actually looked masculine.

"Well what happened with that?" Alfred asked.

"Well, don't tell anyone, but he tried to drug me this one night and it didn't end up working and we ended up kissing, and I don't remember what happened after that but I don't think it was anything bad," I said, as if telling a story. "Sounds pretty stupid but-!" I laughed a little until I felt Alfred's body tense up from under me.

"He did what?"

Alfred's tone surprised me, the sound of his words between clenched teeth, the amount of anger.

"Wow, Al, calm down," I muttered, sitting up to look at him again, "I'm fine."

"Yeah but," Alfred's eyebrows furrowed, "He tried to drug you! He could have done something terrible to you!"

"I know, but i'm fine! I'm smart enough to take care of myself."

"I know that, but I could have done something to help," Alfred muttered, putting a hand in front of his eyes. Now, now I feel touched to a certain point. Aw, he's upset about not helping me. "I'm gonna kill him."

Okay, cute stuff out the roof, I told him not to do anything about it! "No, Alfred, don't hurt him."

"You can't actually love him!" Alfred said, almost in a shout.

"I don't, far from it, but doing something like that will only make it worse," I muttered, rubbing my head, "It's fine, i'm fine." I put my head back down on Alfred's shoulder, possibly to avoid conflict. I wish he could have done this before Angus tried to do the thing to me, but now i'm really nervous about him doing that. The only way Alfred would stop Angus from doing that to me was to send him to the hospital, which would most likely get Alfred fired. The only way to get Angus out of my life is to outsmart him or get a restraining order or something. Unless he's learned his lesson, that I am much smarter than he is. Or maybe i'm smarter in a different way, Angus is a smooth talker, and i'm a planner.

"I know, i'm just worried," Alfred said airily, putting one of his hands on my head gently. This was reassuring, I guess he cares. Alfred most definitely cares about me and his friends, he just doesn't show it very well. Thats whats irritating. Alfred turned his head to press his lips to my forehead. "If anything like that happens again, just get me, okay?"

"But Al, I can take care of myself."

"I know, but I don't want you to be upset, just like how you woke me up the one night and we slept together," Alfred said. He does have a point, I did that before. Alfred's good at making me feel better and he knows it. But, these last few weeks he's been irritating as hell.

"Alright," I said quietly, starting to play with his necklace again.

"I'm probably being annoying, hm?" Alfred laughed, ruffling my hair, "I'll shut up now."

"No, you're not annoying," I muttered, recoiling under his hand, "But yeah, maybe quiet would be nice."

Alfred laughed, "Alright, sleep well, Artie."

I did end up falling asleep. Not much else to do. It was peaceful and quiet, and my favorite person's arms were wrapped around me. Hopefully Alfred improves from this, hopefully this is a start. Or else Alfred will no longer stand as my favorite person.

/**/

"Hey, Francis."

The blonde turned to me, his blonde hair bouncing. "Oh, bonjour," Francis turned back to his coffee-making for tomorrow morning.

"I was wondering," I crept over to his side, my hands curling around the countertop, "when are we seeing dad?"

"Three days," Francis bit his lip, "Why, you excited?" a mischievous smirk spread across his lips as he mocked me. I don't know why he was, because he was most definitely excited too!

"Oh, good, okay Francis i'm going to a festival on Thursday," I said with a smile, "I'm leaving at nine, probably be back around twelve or so."

Francis started to laugh, "Hey, I never said you could go."

"Well, can I?" I chirped, standing on my toes.

"I don't know, I don't want you being tired for dad," Francis raised an eyebrow.

"Oh c'mon! Jace, Liz and Feliciano are going to! Please!" I pouted my lip and batted my eyelashes at the thinking Frenchie.

"Arthur," Francis sighed, "You've been going out way too much."

"I'm seventeen!" I stomped my foot, destroying the cute thing I was going for. Damnit, he's way too overprotective!

"Still, you're my little brother, and I don't want you going out to a festival tonight," Francis sighed, "Sorry Arthur, maybe next time."

"You're treating me like a child!" I hissed before turning angrily to walk back to my room. He pisses me off so much sometimes, I'm not a child! I'm a few months from being a legal adult! What even happened to him, he was nothing like this before he went to France.

I texted Jace right when I got back to my room.

Arthur Kirkland, 5:29 PM: Meet you at the park at 8:00

I can't beileve i'm doing this.

/**/

This is a lot more nerve-racking than I thought.

Just staring at my window, clutching my wallet as night draws near. Man, when did I ever get this idea? I've never disobeyed Francis like this before. I can just open the window and leave, what's so hard about that? Francis is probably in bed right now, he's an early sleeper. I can feel my neck tingling in nervousness, but yet the taste of rebellion is on my tongue. I'm seventeen, I can do this.

I tighten my scarf around my neck. I sighed, shoving my wallet back into my pants pocket.

My fingers curled around the lock on my window, flipping them so I could open the window. Grabbing the wood, I quickly pulled it up, followed by the screen. First I pulled my head through, then hunched my shoulders to get through the tight space. God, this is hard. Turning to the side, I pulled my legs through carefully, then sat on the window-sill for a few moments. I thought over my decision, and then jumped right out, hitting the ground a few feet away. My feet hurt from the short impact, but I quickly brushed it off and sprinted away, before anyone could see me.

And I slipped into the cold, unforgiving night.

* * *

**Authors Note_**

Everybody has been asking me to make this happy again pfft

Its a little bit of both, the second half of this is much happier then the first.

And ps, the USUK action will not start for a few more chapters, sorry to break it to you, but these future chapters will focus on Alfred trying to mend the friendship and focus on Francis a little more. Poor Francy-pants has just disappeared. Now, Francis is not going to be a total jackass in this. I'm not a big fan of France being the total asshole-bad guy in USUK, or any story for really that matter (but the USUK side of hetalia tends to do it a lot). Every once in a while is fine, but really, over doing it and posing Francis as a rapist really annoys me. Because I love mister Francy-pants X3

Okay, might be a shorter wait until the next chapter. I'm planning on making it shorter (compared to this one) but good.


	8. Chapter 8

"This is so brill!"

When I thought festival, I thought of a bunch of people celebrating, drinking and having fun. But this is so much cooler! The lights are so bright, the rides glow and children laugh, wow, this is amazing! I'm glad I left the house, I feel so amazing here. It's like childhood slammed me in the face. I have almost four hours here, this is going be great!

"Where we going to go first?" Feliciano said, clapping his hands together. He was just as memorised as I was.

"Well, i'm starved!" Jace laughed, "Lets get some food." We walked along the rows of tents and games, the smell of fried dough ceasing the misty smell of night.

I nodded, I was fairly hungry myself. I guess from the excitement of running away had gotten the better of me. Hope I see Alfred here, but he's with his girlfriend, so even if I do he probably won't pay much attention to me.

"Food sounds perfect," Liz said with a smile, "How about some chicken wings?"

"I'm feeling fried dough," Feliciano said, putting his hands on his hips.

"Um, what about-," I paused, looking over to one of the venders. They were selling childrens glow-toys, which were rather distracting, "Well, what about fries? We can put cheese on them."

"How about we buy what we see first," Jace said in a sigh, "Something we can share."

We all nodded. I feel so strangely good right now, I feel fresh and new, like a child going on an adventure. Maybe it was the awesome feeling of disobeying my brother, on top of this amazing sight. I havent been to a festival in so long.

My phone started to ring. Fuck. Don't let it be Francis, please, don't let it be Francis! I quickly checked my phone, and to my relief it was Alfred.

"Hello?"

"Hey dude," I smiled upon hearing his stupid voice, "Where are you? You at the festival yet?"

"Yup, Jace, Feliciano, Liz and I are looking for something to eat, where are you?" Liz looked at me, and I quickly covered the speaker on the phone and said "its Al."

"Jen and I are in the back field, can you meet us here? You should be able to find us."

I frowned at hearing Jen's name, but this wasn't an Alfred and me night. This was Jace, Feli, Liz and I.

"Okay, we'll meet you there in a few, bye," I said into the phone, Alfred wishing me a goodbye as well before we both hung up.

"Alright, after we get food, we're going to meet Alfred in the back fields, okay?" I said while shoving my phone back in my pocket.

"Sounds like a plan!" Liz nudged my shoulder with her own. Liz has gotten much more feminine since I met her. Her hair has grown out somewhat, and she likes to wear flowers in her hair. It's actually quite cute the way she does it now.

We found a food stand and quickly got in line. We all decided on a blooming onion for our meal and ordered it, along with some bottles of water. I payed, since I had the most money. We made Jace carry the bowl as we occasionally broke off a piece and ate it.

Soon enough we were in the back fields, searching for Alfred and his girlfriend. It was dark and cold, and my scarf and hair blew in the wind, which was annoying, but wasn't going to dampen my mood. The laughter of kids, booming of ads, and screaming from the people on the rides was now muffled in the background.

"Yo!" I heard the yell from the left, Alfred's voice reaching out through the darkness. We all turned, the smiling American easily seen even through the darkness. He waved one arm, the other arm wrapped around his girlfriend. Jen was wearing the same pikachu outfit from when I first met her.

"Hey!" Jace called, and we all speed-walked over to where Alfred sat. They had a big blanket spread out on the ground in which they sat on.

"Hey Artie," Al said with a laugh. I smiled, he's actually calling me out from the rest. Aw, he's so cute. "How's life?"

"Pretty good," I laughed, sitting next to him. "Francis doesnt know i'm here, don't tell him I snuck out." Alfred giggled.

"I won't," He ruffled my hair and I immediately recoiled, glaring at him for a few moments. Liz sat down next to me while Jace and Feli sat across from us.

"Behold, food!" Jace said with a smile, doing hand motions above the bowl. We all quietly laughed (besides Jen) and started to eat.

We all laughed and chatted for a long, long time. This is the most genuine fun i'd had with Alfred in a very long time, screw that, this was the most fun i've possibly ever had in my whole friends group! Jace and Alfred would do some friendly wrestling in the grass, which made them look like little puppies. Jen was being sarcastic and Feli was being normal Feli, talking about his Italian restaurant. But the weird thing is, Jen didn't talk very much. She looked as if she was put in some awkward position in front of a large crowd. My mind started to wander. Maybe she's the one who's been purposefully dragging Alfred away from us. Almost every chance she got she would ask Alfred something during our three hours together, but I could never hear it because she would whisper it into his ear. Alfred would always respond with something like 'Well i'm not that hungry' or 'no, I don't need to do-' whatever. It was rather strange, like she was trying to separate him from us. I wasnt going to blame everything on her though, before it was Alfred's choice to listen to her (if my hypothesis is right).

At around eleven o'clock, I found myself almost passed out on Alfred's lap. God, he is really comfortable, probably because he eats so much and has a little chub to him. Just a little bit, he's strong, but if you feel his stomach, he's soft. Its funny, you'd really think Alfred has a rock-hard body, but he's actually pretty pudgy. He's awfully embarrassed by it, it's cute.

"Aw, is Artie sleepy?" Alfred said in a baby voice, putting a hand on my head. I grunted.

"Belt up, Jones," I hissed, slapping his thigh.

"Well everybody is tired," I heard Jen mutter. I opened my eyes slightly. "Why don't we go home and do 'you know what'?"

I could have exploded at that moment there. Home? Why did she say home? She didn't even say 'you're house' or 'Arthur's house'. I decided to be a sarcastic asshole, "My house!"

"Eh, i'm pretty tired too, I think i'm just gonna go straight to bed," Alfred muttered, "I don't feel like touching tonight anyways."

I swallowed. Dear lord, he's says it like its nothing. Alfred's clearly touched her before. Maybe not sex but, touching is definant. Oh, how I would love to touch him like she does.

"Hey, can we go home, Al?" I asked, turning my head to look up at him.

"If you guys think you're doing it alone, i'm coming with you!" Jace cooed.

"Well sure, I guess," Al laughed, "Now get up my leg is going numb." He pushed me off his leg as I moaned.

"Alfred!"

Alfred started to laugh, "Get up! C'mon!"

We parted from Liz and Feli once at the entrance gate. We said our goodnights and started to walk. I'm happy that Alfred's starting to get involved in our group, but its really at random. Jace, Alfred, Jen and I walked home in the darkness, laughing and talking. But, as we continued down the street, Jen pulled out Alfred's arm and said "Woah, Al, look at that?" and they both froze for a moment while Jace and I walked ahead. She said it hushed, too, like she was only trying to get Al's attention. At first I thought she was innocent, but when Al spends time with us she gets jealous? Thats just not fair. Jace and I continued a conversation though as Al and Jen followed not to far behind.

We arrived at my house. It was twelve thirty, cold and windy. I hugged Jace a goodbye, and so did Alfred and his girlfriend. But Jen pulled on his arm and pulled him into a kiss.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Al," I said, smiling, "night." I was figuring i'd already be in bed by the time he comes back inside. Alfred gave me a thumbs up while he continued to kiss Jen. I'm actually pretty happy to be home, i'm tired and ready to give into the warmth on my bed.

I quietly opened the front door, just creaking it slightly ajar before going the rest of the way in. I'm making sure I don't wake anybody up. If I do it's not hard to make excuses, i'll tell them I saw someone outside and I was investigating. I mean, i'll get in trouble, but a lot less trouble for admitting to disobeying my brother.

When I crept inside, I found my brother on the couch in tears.

Fuck. Me.

Francis looks so frail right now, i've never truly seen him cry before. His hand covering his eyes, strands of blonde hair sticking to his forehead. I almost felt my heart crack in two, did I do this to Francis? God, I feel bad now. Really, really bad. Kiku stood over the couch, and as the door slammed shut behind me, Kiku quickly looked up.

"Arthur-!"

I swallowed, creeping to the side, maybe trying to avoid this situation. I kept my eyes locked on Francis's figure, who now stared back at me. I stopped moving, looked down to my feet, possibly trying to avoid Francis's wet eyes.

"Arthur," It was Francis's shattered voice this time. And before I was able to look up, Francis and I were on the floor in a tight brotherly-embrace. "God damnit Arthur, I thought someone killed you!"

"Hey, i'm okay," I muttered into Francis's shoulder, patting his back awkwardly. Francis let out a long whimper, and I hit the painful realisation that he used to do this with me. If he left me alone for too long I would cry, and he would hold me and tell me everything's alright. I know exactly what this felt like, well, sort of. Goddamnit, why did I do that? I feel terrible...

"You scared me to death!" Francis started to sob into my shoulder. Wow, I never knew he'd have such a reaction. "Damnit, Arthur, damnit!" He shakily kissed me on the forehead.

"I'm fine, Francis," Our foreheads pressed together, I getting a chance to look him in the eyes, "I'm sorry I snuck out-."

"It's not just that, Arthur!" Francis shouted, the volume in his voice scaring me. It feels so weird to be seeing a grown man react like this, especially my sarcastic brother. God, I really do care about him, don't I?

"Well, what is it?" I squinted my eyes, and Francis broke into shattered sobs again, putting his head back on my shoulder. "C'mon, Francis..."

"Dad," Francis managed to say, before crying again, "Dad's dead, you idiot!"

Wait, what?

"What do you mean?" I hissed, "What kind of joke are you playing on me? Dad's fine!"

"N-no," Francis shook his head. God, what the hell am I feeling right now? Shock, pain, anger, worry? Shit, it's all of them, but i'm not feeling numb. It's more worked up, I can feel my heart race. Francis wiped his eyes, taking a few deep breaths, "He's been sick for a, really long time now. Since he last wrote us. He wrote me that he was sick, and he would die in a few months, but nobody thought it would be so s-sudden..." Francis let out a long whimper and hung onto me again, sobs rattling his body, "I thought I lost the both of you.. Damnit..."

I felt my heart break. And I felt myself yearn for some other place, some place simpler. That's it, thats all. I felt myself grow sick, but all I wanted was to be somewhere else. A better life where I have both parents. Somewhere where life isnt hard.

"No, no he's not, Francis," I muttered. I could feel tears start to build up, but nothing came out.

"Dad's not dead."

Francis slowly let go of me, looked me dead in the eyes with such an expression of sadness, such an expression that I knew it was more than true, "I'm so sorry."

I got up, left the room, and burst into tears.

/**/

I feel so sick.

Even with the steam and comfort of security, being locked in the bathroom, tears keep running down my face. The boiling hot water is stinging my naked body but it's nothing compared to my innards spinning.

Damnit, Damnit...

My head hurts from crying, but I'm not whimpering. My lip quivers, and I feel cold despite the water. I feel tired, but i'm wide awake at the same time. All that I can describe is complete misery. I feel like there is a hole of numbness, but yet there is so much emotion in my body right now, but I can't cry. There is tears, but i'm not physically crying. I wonder why. I'm not sobbing, i'm hardly shaking. Maybe its because i'm somewhat tired, but yet worked up.

Ow, hot water in my eye, oww.

The shower is nice. The hot water provides somewhat of a comfort. But, even though my dad has been gone in jail for almost seven years now, this really hurts. I didn't even get to talk to him. I didn't get to hear 'I love you' one last time. Is this my fault? Did Francis talk to him on the phone and I was out with friends? Damnit, damnit... Don't cry Arthur, you're fine.

"Arthur? Arthur!" I can hear the muffled voice of Alfred outside the bathroom door.

"Go away, please," I mutter, my voice sick and twisted. He can't hear me, i'm not loud enough, my voice does not compete with the sound of the shower.

"You okay? Artie...?"

I felt myself bubble over. This is so stupid, but those words got me so angry. I shakily got up, grabbing the curtain to pull my unstable body up. I can distinguish my tears from the shower water.

"Damnit!"

I didn't mean to scream. I meant for it to be just a mere thought, but it came out as a scream as my fist hit the wall. "Damnit, why?" It hurts, my first burns as I misjudged my punch. I felt tears blur my vision as I recoiled, shaking off my hand, trying to get the pain out. Now the injury throbs and aches, just adding to my agony. I held my fist to my chest, staring at the spot where I hit the wall. How can Alfred break noses without getting hurt himself..? I'm so tired. I want to go to bed. I just want to be somewhere else. I know I can't go to bed, I won't be able to. I want to snuggle in and bury my worries in blankets and pillows, but everything is just so hard right now. I feel so angry now, and so stressed and sad and overwhelmed. My dad, he's gone. The one person who truly understood everything is now gone. He can no longer watch me, he can no longer receive my letters, I can no longer have any hope of him coming home.

Why, why would he not tell me?

Why would he only tell Francis? Why couldn't he write me that he was sick, I don't understand! I now get why Francis got upset when he read his letter, when we talked about visiting him. I would have never guessed it was something like this, though.

My eyes blurred, the pain now in my fist going up to my head in a pressure headache. This is getting me angrier, why can't the pain just stop, dammit!

...Maybe I should try and sleep.

Shutting off the shower, I let my body drip for a few moments before pulling the towel off the railing to wrap it around my shoulders. It's cold, the hot water no longer keeping my body warm. My heart is still racing. I can't calm down, I don't think I want too. I stepped a foot out of the shower, not really caring about the other as I lazily let it hit the side of the shower.

Apparently the curtain didn't catch all the water.

Moving forward, the foot out of the shower slipped, and I felt myself go down as if in slow motion. The last thing I remember is the pop-sound coming from my nose.

/**/

The first thing I processed was the uneven steps. It actually hurt my head, the bounciness and awkwardness of- well whatever. My nose hurts, it's all sore. It's more of the base of my nose though, not necessarily my nose itself. It's cold too, my hair's still wet, the water that soaks my hair is now cold. I'm not naked either, I can feel my boxers shift around my legs.

Then I recognised the smell. Even though I thought my nose was totally broken, I could smell the earthy scent of men's perfume. The strong scent actually made me open my eyes, because I was obviously buried in this smell. I then understood why everything was so bouncy and it smelt so strongly of cologne, Alfred was carrying me. I couldn't see his face, as my head rested on his shoulder looking backwards, but I could tell by his arms and most clearly the sent. Alfred had a recognisable body type, only Jace is really similar to him, but Jace went home hours ago.

I just felt tired. Tired and calm. I knew I shouldn't be calm, but I was, probably because I just woke up. My hands went up to his shoulders, and I curled my fingers around his arms.

"Oh hey, you awake?" His voice was right in my ear, ouch.

"Yeah," I murmured quietly, "My nose hurts."

"It was bleeding pretty bad, but I don't think its broken," Alfred said, quietly this time. He probably recognised he scared me.

"I'm dressed?" I asked, taking the fabric of his shirt and rubbing it between my fingers.

"Yeah, hope you don't mind, just stuck some boxers on ya," Alfred muttered, patting my back gently, "I don't think it would be very appropriate to carry you to your room naked." Alfred laughed quietly. I would have blushed, knowing he saw me naked, but I was really too tired to care. Nor did I care that he was carrying me, I just enjoyed his arms tightly wrapped around me.

"No, no, it's fine," I sighed, digging my head into the crook of his neck, enjoying the scent. He went silent after that, until I shivered of course.

"You cold?"

"Just a little..."

"Don't worry, you can wear my sweater or something, it's really warm," Alfred laughed and I felt him smile against my head. I nodded.

I heard the push of a door, followed by a creak. "We're here," Alfred chirped, "Can you stand?"

"Of course," I muttered, letting go of his shoulders. Alfred very carefully lowered me to the floor, which annoyed me, because he usually just drops me onto the ground. We stared at eachother for a few moments until Alfred quickly took his shirt off.

"Eh, here," Alfred held out his sweatshirt for me, and I just stared at it for a while. "Go on, it's warm." Alfred smiled kindly at me, and I nodded and quickly took it from him, easily pushing it on. Damn, this things big! It doesn't even cling to me like a sweater should, it just sags. I don't have the muscles to hold it up. "Uh, do ya want to go to sleep?" Alfred asked, cocking his head to the side, "You must be tired."

I nodded, sighed and looked down. I feel so weird. I'm calm but, I still feel somewhat upset. My heart hurts.

"Hey man, I know what it feels like not having both parents," Alfred put a hand on my shoulder, squinting his eyes, "If that makes you feel any better."

"How did you even know?" I asked, "Did Francis tell you or something?"

"No, I was inside when he told you," Alfred rubbed his head awkwardly, "Well, um, want me to sleep with you again? I know i'm being kinda selfish..." Alfred laughing nervously. He did sound somewhat selfish, but he knew that he could really make me relax. So, I really didn't mind him sounding like that.

"No, no, you don't sound selfish," I shook my head, "I would like it if you slept with me, uh..." I squinted briefly before sighing, "Can we talk for a little, though?"

"Course!" Alfred smiled, walking past me to crawl into my bed. I followed him closely, and we both snuggled up together under the sheets. Our foreheads touched together while Alfred's arms wrapped around me. It was nice, having him this close to my face. Does he mind me being this close? Does he mind looking at me like this, well, I really shouldn't be to concerned. It was warm, and it made me feel all fuzzy inside.

"So," Alfred said, patting my shoulder, "You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah," I muttered, "Uh, what's it like, necessarily? Not knowing what's going on with your parents? If you don't mind me asking."

"Now normally I'd get all defensive," Alfred said with a smile, "But, you're special, so you get to hear my answer." I smiled, so did he. Alfred took a breath, "Well. It doesn't bother me much anymore, but before it was a constant thought. Like, where the fuck are they?" Alfred laughed, and I couldn't help but smile. "But then I realised that that's what is keeping me forward. Like, where are they, really? What are they doing, how are they doing?" Alfred looked away from my eyes, "It's alright no be upset and all. For a while. But know that even though they're gone from your life they're still doing something." I nodded, that made almost no sense.

"Like, paranormal?"

"No, no," Alfred shook his head, "Or depending on your beliefs, sure. But they just can't completely disappear. Their personality and energy stands." Alfred shrugged, "confusing, I know."

I hummed. I really didn't understand at all what he was saying. Maybe just a little bit, but not to much. I'm trying to understand, but what he's saying is wicked confusing. Maybe he's talking about memories or something? Like they live on in memories, maybe thats what he's getting at.

"Hey, I have a question," I said, taking a deep breath. I knew what I was going to say. I'm going to ask him about Jen, there's one thing, anything that will make my life better, "How much do you love Jen?"

Alfred raised his eyebrows, but then laughed. "Well, don't tell her, but i'm not sure that I like her as a girlfriend. I think she's started to pick that up." I smiled. I hate to admit it but I did. Thank god, thank god he didn't enjoy touching her, thank god he didn't actually love her. I was way over reacting, thank bloody jesus!

"What about when she touches you?"

"That must make you awfully uncomfortable, hm?" Alfred laughed, "But, yeah. I guess I get hard, but I mean, she's touching my dick." Alfred and I started to laugh, "Its kinda hard not to get hard!" I gently slapped his cheek and we continued to giggle. "But i've been getting real tired of touching her breasts."

"Sex?" I asked, cocking my head.

"Oh god no, i'm too young," Alfred stuck out his tongue, "I don't want the condom to break and wham, Alfred's a daddy!" Alfred clapped his hands together and smiled. "I feel awfully bad though, I'm going to have to friendzone her."

Ha, I'm being friendzoned all the time. Too young for sex, as well. Alfred is one interesting man. He's seventeen, I'd say its a good time to get rid of your virginity. Condoms don't normally break, either. But Alfred does seem like one who would be worried about accidentally impregnating a woman.

"Plus i'm worried about hurting them," Alfred said with a sigh, "I don't want her crying or something." Aw, he's so sweet. Alfred does seem like the type to worry about that.

"Wow, i'm glad you're not one of those people who forces it," I said. Alfred laughed in return.

"Me too."

We just went silent for a few moments, and we stared at each other. Being this close to his face made my lips quiver slightly, just looking into his eyes like this made me feel uneasy. His lips just look so soft, how I would love to kiss him right now. I hope maybe one day, Alfred will be dating me and I'll have one less problem too think about. Man, this was awkward. My hearts already racing, but I can't pull away.

Alfred smiled, turning away, "What was that, just now?"

"What?" I asked.

"We were like, staring at eachother all weird," Alfred laughed, and hugged me closer to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, not knowing where else too comfortably place them. Plus, I really didn't want to feel like a woman.

"Hm, yeah," I bit my lip, looking away.

"Maybe we're tired," Alfred said, "do you maybe wanna sleep now?"

I nodded, and I closed my eyes, "Hm, goodnight, Alfred."

"Goodnight Artie," Alfred chirped before kissing me on the forehead. I felt my cheeks grow hot as I took a small breath out. Damnit, Al, why do you have to be so gay? But you're not gay, which is the problem. "Sleep well."

"Same too you."

/**/

The week following, I felt empty. Cold, dead, and yearning. Yearning for what, I still don't know. Some better life, I guess. A life that I actually want, something peaceful and small, some place where I wouldn't have to worry about death and crushes and even getting murdered by a redhaired freak. Somewhere that I didn't have too be careful outside and somewhere I could watch episodes of Doctor Who in peace.

I walked around my home, took way too many showers, and sulked constantly. I actually spent a lot of time snuggled up with Alfred, now that he was starting to appear more. I would lay on his chest and we would watch movies sometimes, but they were always romantic comedies because I was too down in the dumps for anything else. Jace and Liz brought me flowers in the mail.

My dad's wake was that wednesday . And quite frankly, I did not want to go at all. I know its rude, but I really just wish I could hide from all the sadness.

I got dressed up all fancy in a suit, so did Francis, and I was not used too attire like this at all. When I go out, I usually where punk-ish clothing, not anything this formal. I didnt even know how to tie my tie, so Alfred ended up doing it for me. So, he can do it, but I can't, wow. Something tight and stiff like this was not my thing. I want something comfy and lose, jeez, why do I even have to go.

And so, we left. Francis, Kiku and I went to go too the wake. Too wait for people to say 'oh I feel so bad' to me over and over. It was depressing. We requested closed casket, since Francis knew it would be too much for me too handle. I just kept crying, though. No sound came out, just tears built up in my eyes for me to wipe them away. I just wanted this night to be over, but the line of people was not stopping. My highlight of the night was Liz and Jace being there. They came early on, and I felt as if I were waiting for them to come back. We joked for a few minutes, and they actually got me too smile. Once they left that building, I felt like all my happiness went with them. They werent coming back, so I had to wait here for hours more in sadness.

Alfred came though. He looked dashing in a tux, if I do say so myself. It's weird seeing him without batman t-shirts or blue jeans. We hugged, for a while, and he said 'please don't cry' but I did anyways. The only bad thing was that Jen was with him, which irritated me too a new level. But, Alfred doesn't love her, but its still disrespectful.

After five hours I went home. I went home and cried for a while, and locked myself in my room. God, I felt so incredibly numb. It makes me feel terrible and sick. I hate this, I felt the exact same way when mom died. I hoped I wouldn't have too feel like that for a while.

Three days later, I found myself in Alfred's room talking to him about Jen. I couldn't get the fact that he brought Jen with him too my dad's wake. Who has the nerve to do that? Even if she tried to convince him, why can't he say no? Jen is smaller then me, younger than me even, and when Al raises his voice in the slightest I feel threatened. Jesus, the 'Jen' part of Alfred is one of the few things I hate about him. Alfred's got a lot of down sides, but his inability to pick up social cues is the most annoying.

"So, Al, why was Jen at my father's wake?"

Alfred looked at me funny from the sudden upbringing of the conversation. His eyebrows raised as if he was shocked for me asking, "Well she said she wanted to pay respects, so I uh, brought her. Sorry." Sorry? He knew she bugged me. I didn't even say anything negative and he's already saying he's sorry.

"But you know I don't like her," I said, looking at him. We were both laying on his bed on our stomachs.

"You don't?" Alfred said, cocking his head too the side. He sounded dumbfounded.

"Is it really that hard to tell?" I muttered, sighing. Alfred sat up as if trying to avoid my conflict. He seemed nervous on the topic now that I've brought it up. He wasn't getting away from this though. I sat up as well, wrapped my arms around his neck so he had too look at me.

"Well, sorry, you know i'm not the smartest," Alfred sighed, shrugging. I felt his muscles move under my arms. "I guess I should've known, you started getting really mad at me when I started d-dating her."

"Did you just stutter?" That irritated me more then it should have. He was hiding something from me, clearly.

"Uh, yeah?" Alfred raised a brow.

"Why are you so nervous all the sudden?" Alfred shrugged and looked down, and I quickly wrapped my fingers under his chin so he could look at me. "There is a reason, tell me." Why am I being so harsh? I guess i'm really just tired of being so upset, I need closure on a few things.

"I guess it's just uncomfortable talking to you about this," Alfred sighed, "I d-don't know. It's just different. I feel like you're insulted by it."

"I am," I sneered, lifting my lips in a small scowl. Alfred's eyes widened as a small smile spread across his lips, i'm guessing from being nervous. "I am because you completely ignored me-, no, screw that, you completely ignored us when you and Jen started dating."

"But," I let go of Alfred as his eyes quickly trailed away, "But whenever I invited you guys anywhere you never came."

"Yeah, because Jen's there. And whenever Jen's there you ignore us," I said slowly, "Are you understanding what i'm saying?"

"I'm not that stupid, Arthur," Alfred said, his brows creasing slightly, "But I did invite you places without Jen."

"Oh really, Al?" I said with a small coo, "Ah, whatever, I don't feel like fighting with you." I looked away, searching for somewhat of an apology.

"Would you stop treating me as if I were your slave!"

Woah.

"Al, I never treated you like that," I said, a bit quieter because now I could tell i've crossed his line. He's mad now.

"Yeah, you always do," Alfred muttered, seemingly calming down slightly into more of a frustration, "Everyone does. I'm not stupid. You're treating me just like the others."

Oh, now i'm starting to feel bad. Did he actually think that? I mean, I adore Alfred. Some things about him are annoying as hell, but still, I love Alfred. It hurt, him saying that. Maybe he thought of me differently from all the others, maybe he thought I thought of him differently. I do think of him differently, but now that I see it, I have been treating him like shit these last few days. He's been running to my side these last few days. He's been comforting me, cuddling with me for godsake. Maybe last month was horrible, but Al's gotten much better.

"No, I don't," I said quietly, "Or, I don't think I do." Alfred let out a sharp breath, and his nostrils flared slightly.

"Well, you obviously don't see what you're doing to me," Alfred's lips parted in a small smile. And it broke my heart. What does he mean, what am I doing to him? Just those words tore at my heart strings, the hard part being I had no clue what I was 'doing to him'.

"Al," I looked at him for a few moments, just the look in his eyes. He looked just like he did the night he cried with me, that torn, 'i'm such an idiot' look. I was basically looking into two sad little balls of sky. I stared at him, thinking about what I was just about to do. And hopefully he took it as that I thought of him differently, that I liked him more than all the others.

I took his head in my hands, leaned over and kissed him. On the lips.

And he kissed me right back.

* * *

**Authors Note_**

WOAH HEY

PLOT TWIST

plot twist, and woah look they kissed.

*is going to tear you're hearts up in next chapter* mwahahaha


	9. Chapter 9

It was a warm kiss. And it was oh so nice. The taste of coffee rubbing off from his mouth onto mine, his hot heated breaths on my lips. When he started kissing me back, I had to say, I shuddered. I was shocked he kissed me back. At first I immediately regretting my decision, but once I felt his lips slightly moving against mine I almost exploded. He even pulled me closer to his body. God, god dammit this is incredible. Like nothing else in the world matter but me and him.

When we pulled away, I heard Alfred sigh. It was a relaxed sigh, like after you drink a whole lotta water. We slowly opened our eyes to look at eachother, and this was when reality hit me; I just kissed Alfred. What now? What do I say, what can I say? But an apology already slipped out of my lips before I had time to think.

Alfred said "I'm not gay" as plainly as I said 'sorry'. We had the same facial expression of 'why the hell did I do that'. Our eyes were wide and brows creased upward.

"Oh jesus, i'm not gay, I swear to god," Alfred shook his head and brought his hands up to his hair. He twirled a strand of hair while the other hand just rubbed his cheek. His cheeks turned a bright red, and it was awfully cute how nervous he was. "I'm not gay, i'm not gay, i'm not gay." he wasn't telling me, he was telling himself.

"Why do you keep saying that?" I murmured, raising an eyebrow, "I'm really sorry for kissing you."

"It's just," Alfred's pupils twitched slightly as he talked, and he quickly removed his glasses and brushed them off, giving him something to fidget with, "it's just that felt really good. But i'm not gay."

"I know you're not," I muttered with a sigh. Alfred was obviously really upset right now. Upset in a certain way, more like torn. I was to, jesus, why did I do that? What was I thinking?

Well, at least he liked it.

"Al, did you ever watch those videos in sex ed?" I asked, taking his wrists. Maybe he would feel better If I told him this, maybe I'd feel better too. Alfred nodded and hummed. "Do you remember them talking about gay girls and boys? When people would say its okay to do these things that feel good, we just do it in private."

Alfred bit his lip and nodded, his hands fell back to his sides, but the redness on his face was still there. "I... So, we don't have to be gay for eachother?"

I cringed. Damnit, that's not what I wanted. He doesnt have feelings for me. He likes me as a friend, but not like that. He truly seems disgusted with himself for kissing me... But, I mean, he's basically asking 'is it okay to kiss me'. I need to go with this. "No, we don't have to be."

Alfred smiled and laughed, rubbing his head, "Now I feel kinda better. Sorry about me freaking out."

"It's fine," I smiled somewhat, nodding, "So...?" I looked at him, I was already missing his lips against mine. That was the best feeling, the butterflies, the warmth coming through him, everything about the softness in his lips.

"So," Alfred stared at me, until his eyebrows raised again and the redness in his cheeks swiftly returned. "Oh. Kiss?"

I nodded, and Alfred shifted closer and put his arms around me. I slipped my hands up to his deep pink cheeks, feeling them pulsate under my palms. I sighed before raising my head to kiss him again. I felt myself explode, the warmth from his lips rubbing against mine making me yearn for more. I want him, I almost want him to slip his tongue into my mouth.

I frowned when we separated.

"So, eh," Alfred looked at me, cocking his head, "This is kinda like my alcohol problem." Alfred smiled, and I squinted my eyes and frowned. What did he mean by that, that made no sense. "Like keeping it a secret."

"Oh," I said, well he could have said 'keep it a secret'. "No, Al, this is more important. If Francis finds out, he'll rip your head off and then fire you."

Alfred swallowed, "That's reassuring."

"We should be fine as long as we only do stuff like this when we're alone," I said in a murmur, "Completely alone."

"Like at night," Alfred asked.

"Yeah, nights a good time," I smiled and nodded. Alfred put his hands on my shoulders with a smile.

"Okay. You sure this isn't gay?"

It was very gay. Extremely gay. But I wasn't telling Al that, I wanted him. It wouldn't hurt the either of us if nobody knew.

This was going to be a lot more fun than I thought it was at first.

/**/

We couldn't keep our hands off each other.

At first, Alfred and I just kissed each other at night. He would hold me in his lap and we would kiss, sometimes for a few minutes and sometimes for almost a half an hour, depended on our mood. I longed for night all day, every time I saw his face I just wanted to slam my face into his. He was so warm and gentle, but yet it had a sexual smoothness to the way he kissed me. The way his lips were always wet before we kissed, the way we rubbed our lips together sometimes. It was so nice, the way it was dark and Alfred's sky blue eyes somewhat stood out from the darkness. We did not dare stick our tongues anywhere for the first week. But after a while, I found myself licking Alfred's lips until he let me in. It didn't take long for us to start getting used to French kissing, Alfred seemed almost as excited as I did for it. Sometimes he'd try to steal a few kisses when we cuddled on the couch together. This time, the snuggles had meaning. He slept with me almost every night, and our snuggling at night while we fell asleep soon turned more sexual in a sense. Spooning was just the start, but it soon turned into laying ontop of Alfred and licking and kissing up and down his neck until his lips found mine again. We never removed clothes or felt each other up, but we kissed a lot. First I could hold a short conversation with him until he got too excited, but now I couldn't even close the door before he kissed me on the nose or ear. Then we started touching around the third week. We were spooning, and out of nowhere Alfred asked if it was okay to touch me, and he started stroking my cock. It felt nice, really nice, even between our clothes.

I started to think maybe I had a chance. A small chance to maybe start dating him. Alfred might lose interest in girls and go to me, date me. Alfred didn't seem to interested in leaving me, he was actually really excited and was constantly trying too make out with me. But, even when Alfred and I were just being friendly, I was never bored. We would talk and talk, and he would look at me with those beautiful blue eyes, and we would laugh and steal a short kiss on the cheek every now and then. The real beauty was in the kissing alone though, when he looked up at me when our wet tongues slid together, my mind went crazy.

It was after the third week when we started grinding. I really forget how it happened, I think it started with me touching him or something. It was actually quite fun, I was the boss in this situation. Al would ask me what's gay and what isn't, and if I didn't feel like him touching me somewhere, I'd tell him it is gay.

Alfred was already excited as the moon climbed in the sky. He would start to get touchy-feely with me as night approached, laying ontop of me or holding my body too his chest. If we were on the couch at least. But that was the situation, I was on the couch and here is 190-pound Alfred laying ontop of 120-pound me. "Damnit, Al, you're crushing me."

"Oh, sorry," Alfred muttered, sitting up but picking my body up in the process. It's awfully cute how clingy he's been. "Is it almost time?" Alfred frowned and I laughed.

"Jeez, you're excitable," I said, hitting his cheek softly. I kissed him on the cheek afterward, since nobody was really around.

"Can we just go in my room? It's soundproof and all."

Oh yeah, I forgot about that. We had been doing it in my room for the past three or so weeks, but Alfred's room was soundproof so he could work on songs without disturbing anyone. Huh, I should have thought of that.

"Yeah, lets do that," I said with a small, faint smile. Alfred laughed and we followed each other into his room. My hearts starting to race already, dammit, we're too young too hold anything for too long. Just the littlest touch gets us way too excited.

Before I had time to lock the door, Alfred had already pinned my body too the door under his weight and his tongue was lapping over mine. I kissed him back for a few moments, grinding my tongue against his, but one he pulled away I scolded him.

"Let me lock the door, will you?" I hissed, turning to lock the door. Alfred wrapped his arms around my stomach for a few moments until I shooed him away. "I know you're excited, I am too, but damn learn to control yourself!"

"Sorry," Alfred said simply, walking to his bed to lay down. I sat on his lap and already felt a bump starting to form in his sweatpants.

"Dammit, Al," I murmured, laying down ontop of him. Alfred shrugged. Whenever I felt him start to get an erection, I always got insanely happy it was crazy. He loves me too, to a certain point. He enjoys this time with me, which is a great thought.

Since Al was already hard, he was not going to take any of my normal 'lets kiss first' crap. My the time I had correctly adjusted myself our tongues were fighting over dominance of one another, and my member jerked over his. Alfred let out a short moan and pushed me closer to his body, and I shuttered in equivalence to the noise he was making. Since I was filled with anger when All was 'doing things' with Jen, I never really appreciated how hot the noises that he made were. Holy shit, this boy has some lungs, let me tell you. Alfred likes to be dominant as well, so I usually go along with it, but before long he's shaking and moaning with excitement and pleasure, so he really can't take the dominant standpoint for very long.

We've gotten better at this over time, before since my bed is meant for one person we'd usually fall off or hit our heads on the headboard. Usually it was Alfred hitting his head though, since he's taller. But when he fell off, we both fell off.

"Blimey," I murmured, pushing my head onto his shoulder. He had a firm one-handed grip on one of my shoulders, while the other hand pushed on my lower back.

I shuddered, feeling Alfred grow harder underneath my body. He was sweating which got me hot, and the smell of cologne was starting to make me feel slightly sick, but the reassuring taste of chocolate from his mouth made my mind calm somewhat. Alfred would groan and shudder against my lips and take quick, shallow breaths, and my heart raced to the sound. I smiled softly as I took his lower lip in my teeth, rolling my hips over his as I got a satisfying gasp from him in return. We really didn't kiss too much during this, it was more of out of control licking each others faces. It was just as unsteady as my jerking across his body, but Alfred seemed to enjoy it. He also enjoyed tugging and pulling at my hair until it was completely messed up, which irritated me so afterward.

Alfred let out a loud, quick yell, and then I realised he was about to come. I felt my body go limp as he quickly pushed me off of his body, slamming me underneath him before standing on his knees and itching right above his erection.

"Holy shit," Alfred muttered, his face now a shade of bright red. I giggled quietly.

"Very sophisticated, Al," I laughed rolling to one side of his bed.

"Eh, shut it," Al hissed, taking his hand out of his pants. Alfred let out a heavy sigh before collapsing face-first next to me, and the bed creaked slightly. "You're good at this," his voice was muffled by the pillow.

I laughed, "Thanks."

"Okay, can we sleep?" I moved his head so he would face me. Alfred nodded and quickly snuggled up next to me and put one arm lazily across my chest.

"Night, Artie," Alfred said quietly, closing his eyes. He never acts like this, he must be really tired tonight. His chest is still rising and falling quickly, he's still out of breath.

Just as I was about to wish him goodnight, a loud bang coming from outside scared the hell out of the both of us. Alfred jumped up and I just twitched, my eyes widening.

Silence.

I felt my heart race to some extent quicken, I looked at Alfred, and he looked at me, "Al, get the baseball bat."

We took off to where the sound came from. I had a flashlight, and Alfred did in fact get a baseball bat. He had one in his room, apparently he used to play baseball. I thought he'd be more of a soccer (American football) person.

"Should we get your brother?" Alfred asked me as we crept through the living room. He seemed more scared about this than I did, and he was the huge, baseball wielding, extremely strong Alfred. His eyes were squinted as if he were focused on something, and every time the floor creaked he would jump.

"No, it's fine," I shook my head, "I'm pretty sure it's nothing. Anyways, Francis has been a wreck."

"Oh, okay," Alfred said quietly, but slowly dipped behind me. I rolled my eyes, someone this big is really cowering like this?

As we reached the kitchen, I shone my light on a cat. Alfred shrieked and hid behind me, and I scolded him immediately. "Oh my god, it's just a cat!"

The grey creature meowed and trotted out of the beam of light coming from my flashlight and Alfred's fingers curled around my shoulders, "Well, how'd it get in, then?"

"Don't freak out, probably just an open window," I said with an angry murmur before pushing Alfred off my body. I kneeled down and clicked my tongue, trying to get the cats attention. The sleek creature crawled into the light of my flashlight and meowed. "Poor thing must be hungry."

"Artie, it might be all germy," Alfred said as I picked up the cat. I ignored him and the cat meowed again.

"He doesn't seem to have a collar, he might be a stray," I muttered, feeling around for a lightswitch, "Poor kitty, do you want some tuna?" I eventually found the light switch, the light blinding Alfred and I for a few moments.

"Arthur, don't feed it!" Alfred whined, following me as I opened the cupboard.

"You don't like animals, do you?" I said with a chuckle, shuffling through the counters with one hand and holding the cat in my other arm. The cat wasnt very panicked, he must be used to being around people. He seemed very calm. Aw, this cat is too cute! Maybe Francis will let me keep him.

"I love animals! He just might carry diseases or something," Alfred said simply. I found a small can of tuna and looked back at Alfred.

"Get me a can opener," I said, Alfred nodding and going to get it. I gave the cat a small pat on the head and sat it on the counter as Alfred returned to me and gave me a can-opener. I thanked him, opened a small can of tuna halfway, picked up the cat and we both walked to the front door. Alfred opened it for me, which is quite a shocker, since I usually need to ask him for things. Not because he's selfish, he doesn't pick up on things like that well, but we all know that. I set the can on my doorstep as well as the cat, patting the small creature on the head and walking back inside with Alfred. I had gone outside so quickly I hadn't recognised the temperature change, but Alfred sure did.

"Arthur, now i'm cold!" Alfred nudged his shoulder into my neck as he whined, which multiplied the annoying by a thousand.

"What do you want me to do?" I hissed as we walked back to his room.

"Maybe," Alfred cooed mischievously. I knew exactly what he was talking about, he wanted me to rub him. This has been the fourth night in a row i've done it to him, I think it's about time he does it to me again! I'm the one who started this whole thing anyways.

"Why don't you have Jen do that," I jokingly said, elbowing his said. Alfred grimaced.

"I'm dumping her on thanksgiving," Alfred said, "Or around there. The holidays will get her mind off it."

"You're so mean," I laughed. Alfred hummed in response.

I did end up stroking him for ten minutes and then I started complaining on my back aching so he massaged my back. Alfred's pretty good at back rubs actually, his fingers are skilled with the piano, so it makes sense. We cuddled up together afterward and fell asleep.

I'm really not sure what has been going on in my mind. I've been happy lately, even though i'm not with Alfred technically, i'm happy. I'm his number one priority right now, i'm the one he's closest to, and he's showing it. We share the pleasure we get from it, and I really haven't been yearning for something more.

That brings up the question, am I really in love with Alfred? He's showing me affection, but not dating, 'I-love-you' affection. But, I don't mind it. Maybe i'm just attracted to him, I just want to be his number one though, not in love with him.

Or, maybe i'm just afraid to get my heart broken and i'm holding back every thought on it.

/**/

The ugly sound of what sounded like a dying whale outside of Alfred's window distracted me from kissing. I pulled away from Alfred's lips, looking back towards his window, but Alfred forcefully pulled me back. I continued to kiss him, licking over his lip until the sound was heard again.

"Okay, what the hell?" I hissed, pulling away from Alfred's lips once again. Our lips clicked together as I pulled away, and I could hear Alfred moan in frustration quietly below the howl of whatever was outside.

"Arthur, Arthur lets kiss," Alfred moaned from behind me. I ignored him and got up, walking to the window and pushing back the curtains.

The cat from two nights ago sat on the windowsill.

"Alfred, its the cat," I said quietly, unlocking the top of the window. Just as I was about to open it to let the small animal in, Alfred started to whine again.

"No, Arthur, don't let it in, it's dirty," Alfred whined, letting out a guttural moan.

"Belt up, Al," I laughed before pushing up the window. The cat meowed, its green eyes flashing. "I think he likes us. Or, I think he likes me."

"I think he likes your tuna!" Alfred said loudly as I scooped the cat up into my arms. I turned to see Alfred laying on his back on the floor, hands up dramatically. He soon dropped his hands to his side after finishing his sentence. I dropped the cat on his stomach as Alfred flinched. "Not cool."

I giggled and laid down next to him. "I think we should keep him."

"Get the cat off my stomach."

'Okay, okay," I giggled, taking the grey cat off of Alfred. I hugged the creature close to me and it immediately snuggled up to me. "I think we should name him."

"Lets call him Alfred junior," Alfred said with an eye roll. I ignored him.

"How about London," I chirped, then looked at the cat, "Do you like that name, mister kitty?"

"Dude!" Alfred moaned, "You're embarrassing me just hearing you talk like that!" I laughed and flicked Alfred's cheek.

"Okay, London it is!" I said happily, hugging the cat. It meowed and started to purr, "Now if mister meany Alfred picks on you just tell me and i'll whoop his ass." I started to laugh while Alfred moaned. London crawled out from my arms and crawled onto Alfred's neck.

"Oh, god he's choking me!" Alfred yelled jokingly. I quietly laughed.

"See Al, he likes you!"

* * *

**Authors Note_**

FUCKING SHORT CHAPTER YAY

I guess the heart tear is that they arent daiting ha ha

It was going to be longer but screw it.

OH MY GOD A CAT HOLY SHIT ITS A CAATTTTTTT Yup, Arthur has made a cat friend. they keep him in secret hohoho! I was thinking of naming him Iggy but screw it, his name is London. He'll actually play a somewhat important role in the story, despite being a cat. Follow your dreams London, impact the storyline even though you're an animal!

New cover to, decided to do something and draw. But, I drew it, and I actually worked hard on the grass. I usually make crappy grass. Heres the full picture if anyone is interested art/Autographs-cover-412765038

Oh yeah, I found this on tumblr a few days ago watch?v=AHCvDtHgvZM&list=FLibOx0F2gxNeS3RP3x0ZgZw and it litarly reminded me of Autographs straight away so i'm just gonna link it . It's sick

TILL NEXT CHAPTER

Which wont be a while

GOODBYE MY FRIENDS *takes off in sparkles*


	10. Chapter 10

"Arthur, you sure about this?"

Alfred's voice pierced my ears. It was loud from the screams and laughter outside, but I could hear the unease in his voice after I locked the door. I thought immediately of my time with Agnus, but I wasn't forcing him to do anything. I have to make sure he wants to do this though, I don't want to be forcing anything upon him. We've done this millions of times before, but here, we're in a public place. With the threat of Jace or Liz opening the door.

"Do you want to do this?" I asked, kneeling down next to him. He already had his legs open, so i'm guessing he did in fact want me to jerk him off, he was just nervous about someone coming in.

"Of course," Alfred nodded, "I'm just worried about someone coming in."

I bent further over to kiss Alfred on the cheek, "Me to, but I bet we'll be fine. Everyone's to drunk anyways." Alfred nodded and smile, leaning into my lips. I pulled away quickly, though, I needed to make this as quick as possible so no one could catch us. Jen is here to, and god knows she'll be looking for Alfred once she figures out she is gone. I cupped both of my hands and started to slowly rub the small bulge in Alfred's sweatpants. He arched his back and made that facial expression that I absolutely adore. His brow furrowed, eyes glued shut, and his mouth slammed shut in a small frown. I really wonder if he realises he is this handsome. At first he was just making small whimpers, but he let out a small scream as I started to speed up.

"Quiet, Al!" I hissed, stopping. He bit his lip and thrust into my hand, as if not caring that we could get caught now. I sighed and continued to rub him. Alfred had turned from worrying about getting caught into a shaking mess begging for more. This is usually what happens anyways, he gets excited easy. I started doing small 'C' motions on his crotch, which got Alfred shaking and squirming underneath me.

"Arthur, I think i'm coming," Alfred said, the sentence barely grazing his lips. I sighed again.

"We've only been at this for five minutes," I murmured, continuing to jerk him off. I don't think he was lying though, I could feel him twitch under my hand. I like to try to work the mood up with saying hot things or turning him on with small touches , but Alfred usually trashes all of that.

"Arthur, please man i'm really going to come," Alfred whimpered, literally sounding like a puppy begging to go outside.

"Alright," I said simply, a small smile turning my lips up. I heard Alfred let out a sharp sigh, and his body went still. I'm pretty sure he's trying to hold back from coming, because that means we would have to leave the party. I sighed, taking the hand that was rubbing him and slid it up to his cheek. I felt bad in the least, I really wanted him to come, but he really didn't want too. I kissed his lips quickly. The best day of this so far was one when we both came, I even had a chance to work up the mood, and he allowed me too.

"Kiss?" Alfred said after swallowing down, I smiled and we started to kiss in the dark closet. I licked my tongue over his lips and he shivered, but his tongue was in my mouth within seconds. I thought maybe he would come because of the kissing, but his erection seemed to disappear as I continued kissing him.

"Maybe when we get home, I can eh," Alfred paused to grind his tongue against mine, "I can rub you."

"Yes please," I murmured. Our tongue's began to dance for dominance. I felt a small amount of spit dripping off my chin, it was probably Alfred's. He pulled me closer to his body, our tongues now swirling around each other. Damn, this felt so good. It made me get butterflies in all parts of my body, and the best part was the both of us could handle kissing without shaking or making a sound, and we could both stop controllably. I love it, and these past four weeks have been some of the best of my life. I don't want it to end, I can't think of it ending. Alfred's hands went up to my hair, tugging on some strands. I winced, it hurts bad when he does that, Alfred being so strong, but I continued to kiss him just as powerfully as before.

"Maybe we should," I took a breath, "Maybe we should join the others. They're probably wondering where we are right now."

Alfred hummed and nodded, but extended his neck to give me a quick peck to the corner of my lips. Alfred got up and assisted me on getting up, basically pulling me up with no effort. It made me feel embarrassed he could pull me up so easily and it took me ten seconds to get up. I stepped forward to unlock the door, since Alfred showed no interest in actually doing it.

Upon opening the door, the both of us came face to face with an angry looking Jen.

"Where were you?" Jennifer forcefully pushed me to the side, and I stumbled and almost went face first into the floor. I watched as Jen took Alfred's earlobe in her fingers like a mother, and pulled Alfred down to her eye level.

"Yow!" Alfred whimpered, and continued to say 'ow' as Jennifer pulled him away. This, of course, got me really mad. How dare she control him like that, why doesn't Alfred fight back?

"Excuse me!" I hissed, angrily stomping next to her, "Let him go!" I grabbed Alfred by the arm and yanked him away from the angry female. Alfred whimpered from the sudden movement, but thanked me silently with a nod. "You're not his mother for godsake!"

I had no idea Jen would react so, violently.

"He's mine!" Jennifer hissed loudly. I don't think she knew we had been kissing, but the anger alone emanating from her words surprised me enough to step back. "And you've been trying to take him from me since day one!"

I exploded.

"Take him from you? You've stolen him from everybody!" I yelled, stomping my foot into the ground.

"Guys?" Alfred's voice reached my ears, but I ignored him completely.

"That was his choice! He loved me until he started disappearing places with you!" Jennifer stepped towards me, putting her face right into mine, her brown eyes burning with an intensity.

I heard a small purr from behind the both of us, and I recognised the accent immediately.

"Looks like we have a cat fight on our hands," I turned to look at the red head, his green eyes glaring at me mischievously. He sat on the back of a couch.

"Angus," I growled, clenching a fist. My face grew hot, as I know could feel more people staring at us.

"I would love to see Arthur throw a fist at someone," Angus said, sipping his beer. Liz sat below him, glaring at him. She said something to him, but I couldn't hear, "How about a fight?"

"Well, I am not going to hit a girl," I said, trying to calm myself down.

"But i'll hit a guy!"

Since I was facing Angus, I had no idea the tackle was coming. Jen caught me off guard immediately, and I fell face first into the smooth floor. It didn't hurt to bad, I landed on my cheek, but the fall was able to knock the breath out of my body for a few seconds.

I felt a sharp, stinging sensation burn across my cheek. It almost brought tears to my eyes, but I saw my way out as Jen was leaning to one side on top of me. I rolled, the girl falling off of me, and out of pure anger I pinned her body to the ground with my own.

"How dare you?" I spat, and I took a breath to continue to speak, but I felt arms wrap around my stomach. Alfred picked me off of his girlfriend with little effort.

"Okay, thats enough," I heard Alfred grumble in my ear. I squirmed angrily, trying to get out of his grasp.

"I'm not done yet!" I hissed loudly, bending an arm back and smacking Alfred gently. Alfred let out a sigh before quickly throwing me over his shoulder. I whimpered from the sudden movement, but the wrath inside me came back quickly, "You are not the boss of me!"

"I know that," Alfred said with a heavy sigh. I could tell he was frustrated, but he definitely wasnt taking my anger seriously.

"Let me go, you wanker!" I punched his back, but Alfred only twitched from the movement.

"Wow, they can go to kissing it up to this."

Alfred and I both froze. I had the opportunity to jump out of his arms, but i was so shocked from the sentence that I relaxed.

"You really thought you could have done that in private?" I heard Angus's laughter followed by his words, "Looks like Al really is a cocksucker."

Alfred dropped me to the ground, "Am not!" I watched his face turn bright red, and mine probably did too. "Where the fuck would you get that idea?" I could hear the stutter in his voice, the unease. He was a terrible liar. I watched as Jen's anger turned into a upset confusion.

"We call this backstabbing, Arthur," Angus smiled, his view turning to me. I felt my heartbeat quicken. Backstabbing, apparently Jace is a backstabber according to him. Angus has to be talking about Jace, he looked at me with that mischievous stare. Jace couldn't have told him, that isn't possible! I trust Jace, I know he wouldn't do that. He couldn't do that... "You finally let Alfred know the big secret?"

I was incredibly angered by this, but my anger disappeared when I felt the warm hand on my shoulder. "Secret?" Alfred looked down to me with a glare,a glare that made me sweat all at once as if on cue.

"Eh, um," I muttered, avoiding Alfred's eye contact. I think he knew what it was, he just wanted to hear me say it. Fuck, shit, ah.

"Ever since Jace told me, Al and you have been disappearing lately," Angus trailed off, tapping his chin. I heard Jennifer start sobbing. She knew, Al knew, Angus knew.

Fuck my life.

I heard Angus start to speak, but he was interrupted by his own girlish scream. Alfred and I stopped staring at eachother and watched Liz beat the crap out of Angus, the both of them now on the floor. I would have laughed, but the pressure in this situation kept me from doing so.

"Ah, Liz!"

"You little fucker! Why did you go that far?"

Why did you go that far? Liz must have had something in this, so did Jace. My other two friends were gone. Alfred probably was too. My anger had turned into a frustrated sadness, and I felt tears sting my eyes as Liz threw another punch at Angus.

Alfred's hand left my shoulder. I turned to look at him, but he had already turned around and was exciting the home. Alfred let out a sharp sigh, followed by the word said in a sharp hiss that had burnt a hole through my heart; "Faggot."

I stared at the door, minutes after he left.

There is no point in following him.

/**/

I spent that night crying in the bathroom.

I expected Alfred to knock on the door and ask if I were okay, just like he did with my dad. But he never came.

Same thing in the morning. I was cuddled up with London, expecting him to come over and talk and tell me he was sorry, but he never came. Again.

I didn't want to talk to anyone. Alfred hates me, Jace told fucking Angus I had a crush on Alfred, and Liz had something to do with it.

But, Alfred can't just stop being my friend. Thats impossible, we live together. Everytime I see him though, I just want to kiss him really bad, let alone wanting to talk to him. I want him to hold me and I want to say i'm sorry for ever crushing on him, and I want him to apologise to me for calling me a faggot. I still can't beileve he did that. It hurts so bad. He know's i'm hurting too, why doesn't he care? Why does he suddenly hate me because he found out I was crushing on him? Alfred can really be an asshole.

I can't find a reason why he'd just start hating me like that.

The only person i've been talking to is London, well, he's a cat. But, animals are good ways to vent stress, and he's damn adorable. Francis hasn't noticed him yet, he always leaves the house in the daytime but comes back at night. I'm glad he's around at night, it's hardest getting to sleep now. I usually either jerk off or sit it the shower all day now. How the hell did I survive before without Alfred and his friends? How did I survive without a social life, this isnt easy. Singing helps a little, but I can't really do it anywhere now. I wish I had a soundproof room like Alfred.

It kinda sucks knowing your best friend lives with you but you can't go talk to him.

At least I have a cat now.

* * *

**Authors Note_**

Sorry another short chapter. I've been busy lately, well, writers block. With Catching Fire coming up soon i've been way too involved with it to write.

So maybe next week i'll post the next chapter... I don't know :P

opps sad chapter sorry


	11. Chapter 11

I found myself in Francis's room a few weeks after the incident. He was awfully confused on why I was there, but I was in there anyways. We just layed around awkwardly, Francis and I aren't very close in a sense, and lately i've been totally excluding myself by locking myself in my room.

"So," I looked at him. Francis didn't question me being in his room, we were brothers after all.

"So," Francis nodded awkwardly, biting his lip. Francis is acting more childish than I am, and he's twenty nine. I huffed, laying down on his bed on my stomach. Looking at his light blue walls, a few pictures hung. A few with him and I when I was a child, a few with mom and dad, and three with his girlfriend. I really wonder what happened to her, they were together for five years, from what I remember. I looked at him.

"Francis," I said. He looked at me, his eyes widening slightly. "Whatever happened too that girl?"

"Which one?" Francis laughed, and I smiled too. When I started getting famous, he dated one hundred plus girls.

"The one in France, the blonde one," I said, turning towards the pictures and pointing to a picture of them. She kind of looked like if Alfred was female, they were both tall, blonde hair with blue eyes, and glasses. Funny.

"Oh, Lisa," Francis perked up, as if remembering something sweet. He smiled. Her name was Lisa, thats it. "Lisa was a beautiful woman. Not just the way she looked, but her personality was perfect." As he talked about her, I swear his accent grew thicker. I nodded and he continued to talk on and on about this girl. "She had the most perfect sense of humor, and she loved dogs. She had three chihuahuas, annoying things but she loved them."

"Well, what ever happend with you and her?"

Francis's facial expression dropped. I almost regretting asking that question, for now he looked like he was about to cry. Man, I should have been more sensitive with that, I know what it feels like somewhat. He really loved that lady, from what it appeared.

"You were too little too understand, then,' Francis bit his lip, and his expression turned too slight anxiety.

"She break up with you?" I cocked my head. Francis looked off to the distance now.

"No, never," Francis shook his head, squinting his eyes. I nodded. "We were madly in love. She was my match, only death could do us."

"So, what happened?" I asked louder. He's not telling me. Why won't he tell me, this is really frustrating.

"Well," Francis took in a sharp break. "Only death could do us."

That took me a while to take in. I thought for a few moments, squinting at staring at the pictures. My eyes widened when I realised what he said, and I let out a quiet "Oh". I nodded and took a sharp gulp, well, that was unexpected. "Blimey," I murmured, looking at him, "i'm really sorry." Francis didn't look sad, now, he looked spacey. "Was she sick? Like mom?"

"No," Francis shook his head. He didn't look as sad as he did before, I think he was accepting the fact that I had asked. He knew I would have asked eventually, I knew I would too. "She was murdered."

Oh my god.

I myself was incredibly flabbergasted by this. This is coming out of nowhere, completely nowhere. Who would have expected this, I mean, jesus! Francis is so happy half the time.

"Jesus, Francis!"

"Yeah, I know," Francis bit his lip with a small nod. But his lips broke into a small smile, "I knew you'd be curious about her eventually. I prefer to remember her as my belle amant, it's much easier to remember good things than bad. Especially when I blamed myself for the first month after her death."

"What happened?" I asked, but scolded myself internally afterward for asking that. But, Francis really wasn't to upset about me asking.

"We were at dinner," Francis said, furrowing his brow, "We were at dinner, and she left to get my wallet for me, because I left it in the car. She insisted she get it." I nodded, listening to his story contently, but yet with usage at the same time. I hope Francis doesn't cry again. "I knew something was wrong when she was gone for more than two minutes, I felt uneasy, but I ignored it."

"And?" I asked, cocking my head.

"And then five minutes later I went to look for her and she was gone." Francis sighed, "I screamed and called for her for hours but I never found her. The police found her body three weeks later, thats when I moved back with you." Francis looked somewhat sick at this point, but he didn't seem like he was going to cry. I felt bad, that really sucks. Those two were clearly perfect for eachother, and I would never meet someone like that most likely. Even if Alfred and I did work out, Alfred is far from being my perfect match. He's nothing like me, and he can be accidently insensitive, which is really annoying.

"Were they ever caught?"

"To my knowledge, no," Francis sighed. I looked at him, and began to sit up. Once I did, I gave him an awkward sibling hug. I feel bad for Francis, he's gone through a lot. Maybe this is why he's so over protective of me, he doesn't want me ending up like Lisa. I'm seriously all he has left. Maybe he didn't want me going through the same pain with dating. "Arthur, just remember, cherish everything you have. Loved ones are important, one day they're here and one day they're gone."

I nodded, immediately thinking of Alfred. Then Jace, then Liz. I miss them an awful lot, but they're jerks if they really said that stuff. What if they didn't say that stuff, though? Maybe Angus was trying to trick me, he is someone like that. Maybe i'm seeing straight. I can't fix my Alfred issue, but Liz and Jace I can.

Thanks Francis.

/**/

Laying in bed that night, I texted Liz and Jace. Both of them, almost the same text.

Arthur Kirkland, 11:50 PM; Hey, Liz, did you have anything to do with the Angus thing? and for Jace, Hey, did you tell Angus I had a crush on Alfred?

I didn't get a response from Liz, but I did from Jace. I can't jump to conclusions, she might be busy. I'm grateful Jace texted me anyhow.

Jace Leontine, 12:02 AM; No, why the hell would I do that? I told no one. Did he find out?

I guess Liz couldn't have known either then, but I have to make sure. Can't be jumping to conclusions about Liz, but how the hell did Angus find out about Al, then?My fingers tapped across the screen to respond with; Yeah, he found out and told Alfred. Alfred's really mad, he called me a faggot. I'm not very happy with him either, obviously.

Jace and I talked for a little while longer. Normal things. He responded with 'dude i'm so sorry' or something like that. At least I have Jace again, this is a huge relief! I have a social life again, I have my best friend back! Well, Alfred was my best friend. After I kissed him I didn't see us as friends anymore, but now i'm not sure what to call Al.

I went to bed that night with the reassurance that I had human company again. London crawled into my arms that night with a small meow, I think he was surprised I wasn't upset.

/**/

This is the last place I want to be right now.

Alfred's adjusting his sound equipment while Francis is forcing me to do warm ups. My throat hurts, I don't want to be singing, and not in front of him. Alfred seems jolly, and it's pissing me off. He's not talking to me, but he's not glaring nor afraid to look at me. I don't want to sing his music right now, even though i'm only doing one song, I still don't want to sing something by him. Every time he speaks, even though I can't hear him outside the glass, I can faintly hear the word 'faggot' in the back of my head. And it's making my blood boil.

I watched as the two slid a pair of headphones on and Alfred tapped a microphone. I heard the speakers inside of the recording room click, and I flinched along with the noise.

"Sorry Arthur," Alfred mumbled, leaning into the microphone. I growled under my breath and my eyes fluttered away. "You can hear me, right?"

I widened my eyes and gave a thumbs up, but quickly resumed my 'pissed Arthur' look.

"Warm ups," Francis said before Alfred and him started looking through a few pieces of paper. I huffed and began making the 'S' noise with my tongue, much like a snake. My throat ached, and I refused to do actual singing warm ups. Francis noticed this and pulled away from the papers. "Arthur, sing."

I growled, "Sing, what?"

"Do ray me, that stuff, warm ups," Francis said, "I thought you would be used to this."

I begrudgingly started to do some alto notes, since I didn't want to go high. My throat really hurts, despite the water I had to drink recently. After a few minutes, Alfred spoke up again.

"How about we start off with the Bad Romance cover?"

"I already did that, first tour," I muttered angrily. Alfred looked up from his papers.

"I know, we're thinking of doing it again." Oh, so you don't need my say in this? "And this will be easy because you know this already." I groaned quietly, and I heard Francis giggle. It was quiet because he was far away from the mike.

"Someone's grumpy," He looked at Al, and the two of them laughed.

"Ha ha, very funny," I growled. The two of them looked at me, shocked that I heard it.

With a "music!" From Alfred, we started. I shouldn't be so miserable about singing right now, but I am. Maybe because Alfred's here and really cheery, despite the fact that I feel terrible. My voice picked up quickly with the rhythm, but my brain did not. My mind repeated the sentence;'this sucks.' over and over. I watched Alfred's lips gradually extend into a smile. I should be happy he's this pleased to watch me sing, but as his smile grows my anger gets hotter.

My anger subsided as soon as my voice cracked. It hurt, worse than it should. I stopped singing immediately and began to rub my sizzling neck. Jesus christ, I must be coming down with something. Francis stopped the music.

"Arthur?" Francis said, unamused.

"It really hurts," I hissed back, my voice losing volume, "I think i'm coming down with something."

"Try and sing," Francis and Alfred both said at the same time. I sighed, and let out a quiet, painful screech.

"That's the best I can do," I muttered, rubbing my neck again. Francis sighed, so did Al.

"We get all setup-!" Francis's voice trailed off as he got further away from the mic too open the door. I immediately exited, wanting to get out as quickly as possible.

I'm so grateful to have a recording studio in the house. Easy escape.

"Tell me if you feel any better tomorrow," Francis muttered, sighing. "I'll pick up some medicine if you don't." I nodded and fast-walked out.

"Feel better, Artie!" If i had not exited the room by the time Alfred said that I would have ripped his head off.

Guess who got sick? Terribly sick, bedridden sick.

And mister Jones was assigned to take care of me. Jesus christ.

/**/

Basically, Alfred just brought me my morning tea, and would tell me to call him if I needed anything. Which I never did. I wanted to see if he would come if I stayed quiet, but he never did. I would just watch TV silently or read. I texted Jace a lot as well, I would've called him, but my voice sounded like twelve-year-old me going through puberty but a thousand times worse. It wasn't only my voice, I would get chills despite the four blankets on top of my body, and once I stood up I would get insanely dizzy. It's nothing life threatening, Francis said, just a virus. As long as I get some rest i'll be fine. Also, I think London has been taking turns in between visiting Alfred and me. Sometimes London follows Alfred into my room and leaves with him.

I was awoken on the third day of my sickness by the door creaking open.

"Brought your tea!" Alfred's rather early this morning. Doesnt he know I should be sleeping? "Just like always, ya know." Alfred laughed and set the mug on my nightstand. I rubbed my eyes to look up at him, and he stared back at me, excitedly. He knew I was going to say something to him. I hadn't talked directly to him in a while.

"You're early."

"Yeah," Alfred nodded, sitting on the side of my bed. No, that wasn't a conversation invite! I don't want to talk to him! "Sorry, did I wake you up?"

I nodded. As his hand was placed on my hip I quickly recoiled, rolling to the other side of the bed. apparently Alfred took this as permission to lay down next to me. "You know, laying down with a faggot may cause you to die," I hissed angrily.

"You still mad about that?" Alfred said loudly. He sounded shocked.

"No," I said sarcastically, "Calling a gay person a faggot has no affect on them! Especially when you're this person's best friend." I turned so my back faced him.

"Gee, Arthur, I had no idea that would've hurt you that bad."

"No, Alfred? You haven't talked to me for weeks, you didn't care that I cried almost every night, it's not just the fact you called me a faggot!" I could feel my voice crack deep in my throat. I sound like an idiot. I heard Alfred swallow.

"Well, I just didn't talk to you because it was awkward," Alfred muttered, "I didn't know you cried every night over that, m'sorry."

"Sorry doesn't fix anything," I hissed, crossing my arms. I felt Alfred's fingers curl around my shoulder. I hunched my shoulders, his gentle grip being easily taken off my shoulder. "You knew you were going to hurt me by saying that, you knew it so you said it."

"I didn't know what else to do, okay?" Alfred said, "I was angry you lied to me, I didn't know-."

"I lied to you?" I hissed. It was true, I had lied to him. But he had no clue I had before then, and believed Angus as he said it. Why should he beileve him? More importantly, beileve him and then toss me out like some old toy? "Angus said all of that, you would really beileve him over me?"

Alfred fell silent. I could feel his breath on my neck every once in a while, as if he only chose to breath every great while. Alfred was stuck, I could tell.

"Artie," Alfred finally said something, my nickname spoken in a sigh.

"Don't call me that."

"Arthur," Alfred said, louder this time, "I'm really sorry, I was being stupid. Can we just be friends again?"

I fell silent. Just be friends again. He doesn't mean kissing and shit, just being friends. Normal friends. I wouldn't mind that of course, I miss Alfred. But he really is trying to avoid all the arguing. He isn't being sincere, he wants me back in the easiest way possible.

What do I say? I don't want to chase him away, but I don't want to be harsh.

"I don't know, Alfred," I muttered quietly.

"C'mon, we can watch horror movies and hang out until you're better," Alfred chimed in, sounding like a puppy begging to be played with, "Please?"

This is like a dream come true, but it feels so wrong. What the hell do I do?

"I'll think about it. Maybe tomorrow," I said with a defeated sigh, "I really have to sleep."

"Oh," Alfred's childish voice had turned into a calm, almost sad voice. "I'll come back tomorrow then. Um, bye."

I listened to the quiet footsteps of Alfred leaving my room.

/**/

I felt myself getting better after a few days. I could walk now without getting too dizzy, but my voice still hurt and I was still awful cold, so I spent much time in my bed still. The morning after Alfred and I talked, I only saw my tea on my nightstand followed with a note that read 'So?' and a smiley face. He's such a dork.

Since I was able to walk around now, I could get my own tea. I no longer needed Alfred's assistance. I almost missed him coming in every morning. And since I still spent a lot of time in bed, I really didn't see anyone. I still texted Jace a lot, and Liz finally responded back. She explained to me how she said Angus had gone too far because at first she thought he was just joking with the 'cat fight' thing. She said to me that her and Angus don't get along well and she would never do that stuff. I felt pretty good.

It had been ten o'clock. I was just going to bed, until I saw a note on my night stand. It was written in pen, and the ink was still wet, Alfred must have slipped this here note to long ago.

Hey Artie, If you're feeling any better I was wondering if you'd want to meet me at the park? Fine if ya don't, you're pretty sick still. This was written at nine thirty, by the way! So if you find this at twelve know i'm not there.

Sincerely, the very confused Alfred.

P.S., Can we be friends again? I miss you!

I smiled, but yet got angry at the same time. I can't go, it's too cold. I'm still sick.

I set the note back down with a small frown. Getting up, I walked to my window to open the blinds. Once I did, London sat outside, mewing. Poor kitty, must've locked him out. I pushed open the window, but London just sat there, meowing.

"C'mon, London, the window is open," I laughed picking him up. He hissed, and out of shock I dropped him on the floor. London landed on all fours and showed no sign of being hurt, thank fully. "London," I muttered with a laugh.

London never acts like this. He seems frustrated, he's pacing around my legs and when I try to pet him he dashes away and goes to my door. I sighed. "London, what's wrong?"

The cat paced again. He looked around the room frantically, but it looked like he found what he was looking for. Jumping on my bed and onto my night stand, he meowed again. "London, bad-!" I scolded the cat, until I realised what he was trying to do.

He was trying to pick up the note Alfred had left me with his teeth.

I squinted, cocking my head. I picked up the note, London jumping back onto my bed. He stared at me, his ears twitching.

Something's wrong. London never acts like this, he's very calm and sweet. Looking at this animal, he looks distressed. I'm starting to feel nervous.

I took a breath. "Is something wrong with Alfred?" I regretted asking that, like i'd get an answer.

But I did. London sat down and meowed, his calm-kitty nature coming back almost entirely. This can't be, London's a cat. He's no smarter than any other animal, this must be some weird coincidence. Alfred is fine. But, London picked up the note out of all things on my nightstand, and calmed immediately when I said Al's name.

"Where is he?" I said, staring at the cat. London jumped off my bed and ran to the door, pacing in front of it until I walked over to it.

Now I feel sick. Nervous sick. It's not just the way London's acting, I feel as if my human nature is telling me something is wrong.

Next thing I know I had London in my arms and I was sprinting to Francis's room, despite my shaky legs from my sickness.

Upon opening the door to Francis's room, I blurted out the words; "I think Alfred's hurt."

* * *

Authors Note_

LONDON TO THE RESCUEEE! London's on a role here. I think he might be the most level headed character in this book so far. And he's a cat. That's saying something.

Getting into Francis's back story. I thought I was on writers block, but Francis saved me. Thanks Francy-pants.

This chapter is still pretty bad though, because of my writers block. I was hit with creativity, but yet I didn't want to write. So, miss spellings, and this isn't a very detailed chapter. Sorry.


	12. Chapter 12

Within minutes we were in Francis's jet black fisker-hybrid, driving to the park. Francis took little convincing, and we had bounded into the cold darkness within minutes. It was black besides the space in front of the car and the small spaces being illuminated by streetlights. I was terrified. It was more Francis's reaction that scared me, he knew what this felt like but a thousand times worse.

What if Alfred's dead? Jesus christ, i'd feel so bad! I think i'm finally being able to understand what Francis meant on cherishing people. It would be my fault, too, if I had let him be my friend again he wouldn't have gone. He would be safe, with me! Would could be watching horror movies right now, not driving around in 32 degree weather looking for him.

"The park?" Francis turned to me, his fingers tapping the steering wheel nervously. I nodded. The silence in the car is making me even more nervous. Alfred isn't dead, he can't be. He's probably fine, i'm just over reacting. But, it doesn't hurt to make sure.

We pulled over into the grass at the park. Nobody was around, so it was fine.

"Okay, um, how about you walk back to the house to see if something happened to him on the walk here, and i'll check the park," I said. Francis glared at me.

"If Alfred did infact get hurt the danger is still around, i'm following you." I nodded, that's reasonable, but this will take more time. I am sick, and it's freezing, and Alfred could be suffering somewhere.

"There is a few flashlights in the glove box," Francis said. I nodded, opening the glove box and taking out two good sized flashlights. I gave one to Francis. Thats when I saw him pull out a small handgun from under his seat. "Just incase."

"That may be the worst possible place to store a gun," I said quietly.

"I don't care, Alfred's like a brother to me," Francis hissed. Jeez he's angry. "And i'm not letting you get hurt, let's go."

I nodded. Well, Francis can be badass after all. But now is not the time to think about that, i'll probably make fun of him later though. Francis and I both opened the car doors.

All went silent.

My heart race sped up.

I looked around, peering into the cold darkness, like I could see something if I tried hard enough. I didn't want to move, this is scary. Really scary. Alfred could be dead and his murderer could be lurking in this park, but, Alfred can't be dead. But, yet he could be.

Francis's voice made me jump, "Alfred? It's Francis! Where are you?"

"Francis that won't work," I hissed. Since Francis had ruined the silence, the meow from behind me didn't scare me as much. I turned, shining my light on the familiar creature. It walked over to me, and I bent down in front of it.

With a sense of determination, I knew London would respond somehow, "Where is Al?"

The cat meowed and strutted in front of me, his grey tail acting as a great flag to follow. I started to follow the cat, my flashlight shining around. The presence of an animal in this situation is a lot better than a human companion. London is calm. His senses are sharper than mine, so if something bad was coming after us, he wouldn't be calm.

"Why are we following a cat?" Francis hissed.

"Because," I stuttered, I didn't want Francis kicking London out of the house, "he's a stray cat, but he likes Alfred and I. I'm surprised you haven't noticed him, he hangs out in the yard. We made a home for him in the back." I turned to see Francis nod, and relief washed over me. Great, he doesn't hate London. "He know's Alfred's smell, so he's probably leading us to him." The wet grass brushed over my ankles, soaking through my sweatpants. Gross. My feet eventually found the sidewalk though, and London's paws started to click against the hard ground. I could feel Francis's presence behind me. The cold is nipping at my sick body, this is the most walking i've done in a while, my legs are starting to feel sore.

I could make out the fountain now since a single street lamp sat near it. The light was rather comforting. I felt relieved to see that, maybe I could spot Alfred once over there. London mewed and started to trot faster. I smiled slightly, "London, wait for me, kitty."

My smile completely faded and I went into a sprint once I heard the quiet, but pained sobbing in the distance. No mistaking it, that was Alfred. The way his voice cracked, but yet it was smooth. But it sounded so pained, so agonising, like he was holding back parts of his sped up as well, I could hear his paws clicking against the pavement.

"Arthur-!" Francis yelped, but I could hear his boots slamming against the pavement not far behind me.

Now that I could hear him, he could definitely hear me, "Alfred! Alfred, i'm coming!"

The crying stopped, but then I heard Alfred scream my name back and it pushed me into over-drive. His voice was clearly coming from the fountain, and I didn't care about getting wet anymore, I sprinted straight through a muddle of mud and around the fountain.

I found him, his back pushed up against the fountain's edge, tears staining his eyes and blood splattered across the white cement of the fountain. I felt my heart drop at the sight of the dark red liquid splattered across the fountain.

"God," I muttered as I collapsed next to him. Alfred clung to me immediately like a scared child, whimpering loudly and pulling his body close to me. He didn't wrap his arms around me, just nuzzled his body closed to mine. He started to whisper 'jesus' as I wrapped my arms around him.

"You're alright," I said loudly, patting his back, "You're okay, we're going to bring you to a hospital, you'll be fine." Alfred whimpered, but nodded. "What happened?"

"I think, I think I got shot," Alfred muttered. His voice was strained, and upon looking at him, his expression was the definition of agony. Brow creased, teeth clenched. "In the arm." I looked down to his arm. He was clutching what i'm guessing was the injury with the other hand, and I could see the good amount of blood that had soaked through and leaked from his dark sweater. "It really hurts. There is something in my arm," Alfred's voice was strained. I couldn't beileve there could be a bullet in his arm, that's pretty gross, and painful.

"I'm sure it's nothing love," I muttered, turning towards Francis who had just caught up. He was panting, but his expression changed upon seeing Alfred's condition. He must be freezing, Alfred's shaking now. He must be terrified.

"Jesus, what happened to you?" Francis said loudly, kneeling in front of Alfred.

"He thinks he got shot," I said, answering the question for Alfred. He must be in pain, so the last thing I want to be doing is asking him the same questions. "In the arm." I focused on Alfred, "Do you think you can walk to the car?"

Alfred shook his head, "It really hurts, Arthur." I sighed, looking at Francis.

"Is the person still here?" Francis asked. Alfred shook his head.

"I-I don't think so," Alfred swallowed, "I've been here a while. I think they would have killed me by now if their intentions were bad or whatever." Alfred let out a pained moan, and I stared at Francis, who stared back at me with a nervous look.

"We're either carrying him or you have to get the car." I stared at Francis for a while, and he stared at me. Finally, Francis sighed, his facial expression relaxing slightly, and I watched him slip the gun out of his pocket and hand it to me.

"Shoot anyone that comes near, i'm getting the car."

I nodded and Francis ran off into the night. I felt panicked now. I have to protect Alfred, and all I have is this gun. Alfred probably didn't even see this attacker, he doesn't even know for sure if he got shot. I could get shot at any moment and not even know. London has also sneaked off into the night. Alfred was shaking and clutching his arm tightly, why am I talking about myself here, Alfred must be terrified! Dear lord, he's depending on me as well. What can I do? This situation is no good for me. I can think my way out of situations, but stuff like this is more of a Alfred or Jace way-of-thinking situation.

"Who did it, do you know?" I asked.

"No idea," Alfred said quietly, "Too dark."

"Alfred, i'm so sorry," I said airily. Alfred shook his head.

"Don't be sorry, this isnt your fault." Alfred sighed sharply. I began rubbing his back, possibly trying to soothe him somewhat. He probably knows he's alright now, Francis is coming back with the car and we'll take him to the hospital, but i'd be nervous as well. Especially knowing that I can't protect him if whoever comes back.

I felt so relieved once I saw Francis's car rolling through the grass. Francis had to pick up Alfred and put him into the back seat, and I must say, Francis had a lot of trouble. Alfred's big, and plus he was in pain, and was jumpy in Francis's grip. I sat in the back with Alfred to check out his injuries.

"Hospital," I said quickly. Francis chuckled.

"Where the hell else would I go?"

As we started to drive out of the park, I opened the trunk through the middle seat and pulled out a sweater. I also told Alfred to strip so I could check out his injuries, but he needed my help for that because he had no use for his injured arm. Now Alfred's getting whiny. Great.

As soon as we took off his shirt, Alfred put his hand over his injury again. I sighed, Alfred is going to be stubborn about this, isnt he?

"Let me see, Al," I said, pushing his hand off his injury. Alfred whimpered again and started shaking harder, man he really can be over dramat-!

Oh jesus.

I could see the hole clearly, but it wasn't a smooth hole, it was messy and gross. I could only see as far as the blood let me, but basically, it was a red mess. A chunky, flesh torn off, red mess.I grimaced while Alfred was busy trying to not look at it, whimpering and squirming in my grip.

"How bad is it?" Francis asked.

"Wonderful," I muttered sarcastically. Alfred started to whimper louder as I investigated the wound, possibly trying to see the bullet, if there was infact a bullet in his arm. I'm no doctor, but i'm very sure a bullet should not be staying in someone's arm. Yuck, this is gross. "How does it hurt?" Well that's a stupid question, Arthur.

"Um, I don't know," Alfred muttered, "Stings kinda. Like a bee sting but a million times worse." I'm almost glad Alfred has so much meat on him, if it was a bullet that got lodged in his arm, if that were me who got shot it probably would have gone straight through my arm.

I sighed and began blowing on the injury. Alfred tensed up but started to relax after a few moments. "Does that feel any better?"

"Kinda," Alfred said. He had stopped shaking entirely, maybe just a twitch now and then.

"Okay, i'm going to wrap that in this," I held up the sweater, "We need to apply pressure until we get to the hospital."

"Um, no thanks."

"Alfred we have too," I sighed, pulling up the sweater. I put one of the sleeves up to his arm and wrapped it around the wound, holding it tight. Alfred was whimpering and started shaking again. He's really whiny, before I could see the pain in his eyes, but now he's being a whiny baby again. You'd think Alfred being such a big guy would make him tougher, but that isn't the case.

"Arthur, stop it," Alfred whined, pouting his lips. I'm assuming he's talking about the sweatshirt around his arm, "It hurts!"

"Belt up," I muttered, loosening my grip on the sweater. "We're almost there."

In about five minutes we were there. We forced Alfred to walk into the hospital, but basically Francis carried him in. We checked him in and that was it. They kicked us out. Well, not necessarily kicked us out. They didn't tell us how long he'd be there for, and just to come back in the morning.

I did not sleep easy that night. I missed Alfred, and I was worried about him. I wonder if he's thinking about me? Nah, he's probably asleep, poor thing's probably exhausted.

I wonder who did that too him though.

/**/

We visited Alfred many times those two weeks.

He did infact get shot, they found a bullet lodged in his arm (yuck). Apparently he had to have surgery to get it out, poor thing. But, he's fine now, just some arm pains now and then. He also has a sling or whatever, so its awkward when we hug. Sometimes Francis will drop me off at the hospital for four or five hours at a time so Alfred and I could hang out. We'd watch movies on his laptop a lot. I wouldn't exactly cuddle with him, i'm not risking that anymore, but i'd rest my head on his uninjured arm. I wasn't necessarily happy that we were friends again, I was happy he was alright. We would have been friends again sooner or later.

There was an investigation on who shot him, but the case was dropped quickly because there was little evidence on who to point fingers at. I'm thinking it was Angus. Just somethings telling me its someone I know. It was a fairly large bullet too, so someone capable of holding and owning a gun that big had to do it. I don't think anyone I know has a gun collection.

Once Alfred was released for the hospital, I took care of him. I brought him his dinner every night, even though he could get it himself. I had a reason to be friends again. I'm almost glad he got shot, for we would still hate each other at the moment. Alfred and I would spend afternoons in his room, either listening to music or watching horror movies. London usually joined us. London disappears in and out of the house now. Alfred and I definitely were keeping our hands off each other now. We would occasionally hug or I would rest my head on his lap or shoulder. Extremely friendly touches. I don't know if I ever want to go back to kissing him and stuff, i'm too afraid. I think Alfred picks up on that and he's very carefull when he touches me. I almost feel like Alfred learned his lesson from this whole ordeal, and I don't think he'll ever hurt me like that again. But, it's still awkward.

I spent Thanksgiving in Alfred's room. I checked into the main room a few times to sneak some food and say hi to everyone, but Alfred and I made a pillow fort that we ate in together. It was awful fun, best thanksgiving yet. It was all warm and toasty, and Alfred being by my side felt awesome. His arm won't be out of the sling for another week now, and until them the arm poses completely useless. Since he got shot in the right arm, which was his writing arm, I usually wrote things and did a lot of things for him. We watched a movie that night, and I must've fallen asleep in the middle of it. I woke up tucked into Alfred's bed right next to him, and I blushed at the thought of him carrying me into bed.

I'm not sure what stance i'm at with Alfred now. I'm definitely not as bad as I was when he was with Jen. But, I don't feel like i'm in love with him anymore. Yet when we touch I get all blushy and giddy. Crushes just don't go away. I think i'm afraid to crush on him again, because his reaction was terrible. You can tell Alfred is some what of a homophobe, I don't think he hates anyone for being gay, but you can tell it bugs him a little. It makes me upset if I think about it to hard.

For now Alfred is my friend and thats what i'm going to accept.

/**/

"Arthur, I have something for you."

Kiku's voice alerted me from fooling around with Alfred on the couch. Alfred and I both perked up, and I looked towards Al and he shrugged. I climbed off Alfred's lap and approached Kiku. "Yeah?"

"Well, Francis and I," Kiku smiled, "Early christmas present." Alfred was watching us closely over the back of the couch, his uninjured arm leaning on the back. I looked at Kiku again.

"We bought tickets."

I laughed, "To what?" Tickets? I can get into almost every concert, i've been to a lot of award shows, it really doesn't matter going to a concert anymore.

"Plane tickets."

I looked at Kiku with a small smile. Oh, well, okay. "Is this for a tour?"

"Nope," Kiku smiled mischievously. "You, Francis, Alfred and I are all going to disney world."

Before I had a chance to react I heard Alfred scream from behind me, "Disney world?" Followed by a loud slam. Next thing I knew Alfred was hugging Kiku tightly and kissing him on the cheek. "I've always wanted to go to disney world, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Alfred shrieked excitedly and let go of Kiku to hug me. "This is so cool!"

"We're going in uh," Kiku paused to wipe his face free of Alfred-germs, "Twenty third of this month."

"Ah! I'm so excited!" Alfred screamed and ran into a hall.

"Um, Alfred?" I laughed.

"I'm packing my bags right now!"

I laughed and looked at Kiku. Kiku shrugged with a small smile implanted on his lips, "He's strange, isn't he?"

"Yeah but I like it," I smiled and looked back to the hall. Alfred's so childish. It's adorable.

* * *

**Author's note_**

Oh snap... WHO DONE IT?!

oh well who cares the dorks are going to Disney world (*Has things planned for the dorks going to Disney)

Oh yeah, this is a fisker Hybrid It's a fucking fancy ass car. Thus Francis drives it.

I'm on writers block, Catching fire is getting me excited. Might be a few weeks until next chapter is posted maybe. i'm really excited for the Holidays, My parents might be getting me a new stock of copic markers.


End file.
